• pH3ra@lemmy.ml
    733·
    7 days ago

    Of course girl with a goth profile picture and spiders in her name thinks goth style is hot.
    In the meanwhile my bald head and nike sweatpants attract eastern european girls like a lamp with moths. You catch what you fish for.

    • ameancow@lemmy.worldEnglish
      22·
      7 days ago

      The problem is most average looking men, when bedecked in goth shit, look like Bluey got run over by a Spencer’s truck.

      The dude in everyone’s imagination wearing black makeup and jewelry looks like a strung-out rockstar with don’t-give-a-fuck vibes who lives for adventure and wild nights. The vast majority of ACTUAL men have the body-shape of a rectangle and have to spend most of every day waiting in lines, attending Zoom calls, explaining to customers why their wifi doesn’t work (Reset the router Ethel, no that’s not a router, you’re holding an egg steamer.)

      We gotta abandon the idea that people have “looks” at all times. Lets repopularize costume parties so guys get a chance to try to dress-up without it being some kind of shocking change to their entire persona. I had a stiff, straight-edge boss who attended a Halloween party and went goth. Completely unrecognizable, he was a legend.

      • aestda@lemmy.world
        1·
        4 days ago

        Yeah, you can’t wear the same thing every single day unless it blends in with everybody else.

      • rumba@lemmy.zipEnglish
        6·
        6 days ago

        I’m trying to get back to rectangle, I passed on to deflated beachball…

      • AlteredEgo@lemmy.ml
        2·
        6 days ago

        Lets repopularize costume parties so guys get a chance to try to dress-up

        Yeah but isn’t that what women do when “going out”? Makup and clothes that create a different look and style?. Maybe call it “persona”, like “my social persona is male harajuku” (lol)

        • ameancow@lemmy.worldEnglish
          2·
          6 days ago

          Yeah but isn’t that what women do when “going out”?

          Yah but it still doesn’t give men in particular the pass to experiment, to try new identities or personal expressions. I may be mistaken, but I think this was the origin of the “fancy dress party” before Halloween co-opted the idea and made it so trying out a new a “fancy outfit” is now dressing up in cheap plastic masks of stereotypes.

      • Ifera@lemmy.world
        1·
        6 days ago

        Back when I was a young, gay goth, one of my closest friends talked me into going out swapping wardrobes. He was(and still is) very handsome, but he is one of those preppy gay guys.

        I hate the fact that our Polaroids of that night got lost. It was such fun, and although I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror, it felt amazing, being a different version of myself for a night. And he felt so free, not having to worry about his hair and looks for the night, wearing comfortable, scuffed to hell boots, instead of his traditional suede shoes.

    • Taleya@aussie.zoneEnglish
      2·
      6 days ago

      You look at Jeff in that ep and tell me you wouldn’t and i’ll call you a filthy liar

      • Case@lemmy.world
        3·
        6 days ago

        Ah yes, the leather daddy BDSM iconic gay “look” that these totally hetero men who go on long trips together to scenic areas without women, and with vibrations the whole way to excite the twig and berries, and a nice massage to relax the rear end.

        Bigger stretch than professional wrestling, but not much.

        God fearing, homosexual hating trailer park kids don’t realize that watching two oiled up men in spandex is… well, pretty fucking gay. Not meant to be disparaging, I just mean the only things missing are penetration and a money shot.

    • Reygle@lemmy.world
      7·
      7 days ago

      I don’t know where I heard it but I think the sound of a Harley V-twin engine sounds a lot like a throaty man voice shouting

      BROTHER BROTHER BROTHER BROTHER LOOK HOW GAY I’M NOT BROTHER BROTHER BROTHER BROTHER

      On second thought I think I heard it from a canadian redneck madman on youtube. ZipTies&BiasPlies

  • Taleya@aussie.zoneEnglish
    22·
    6 days ago

    The Danes, thanks to their habit to comb their hair every day, to bathe every Saturday, to change their garments often, and set off their persons by many such frivolous devices. In this manner, they laid siege to the virtue of the married women, and persuaded the daughters even of the nobles to be their concubines.”

    Nike dudes even starting to get the monk haircut.

  • Simulation6@sopuli.xyz
    13·
    6 days ago

    Too much effort to maintain a look. I would rather feel good then look good at this point in my life.

  • Nangijala@feddit.dk
    362·
    7 days ago

    People should do what they are comfortable with, but yes, if a guy wants to attract women, this is definitely a way to get what he wants.

    I was part of the alternative scene and I also thought the goth-boy aesthetic was very attractive. All the girls did. To me, the most attractive thing a man could do to his appearance was to let his hair grow long. Like past the shoulders long.

    Didn’t have to put on make up and jewelry. Just have long hair and you could be fat or skinny, pretty or ugly. Didn’t fucking matter. I’d look. If Henry Cavill walked down the street next to a nerdy guy with long hair, I would look at the nerd everytime. If he wore band t-shirts and military boots, it was game over. Only way a guy could fuck it up for himself with me was if he started the nice guy routine or was so socially awkward he couldn’t talk to a girl. I have experienced both. The latter was a full date where the guy didn’t say a word to me once and I was the one who had walked 20 km to get to his place because he had social anxiety and couldn’t leave his home. Poor guy. I hope he’s doing better today.

    • ameancow@lemmy.worldEnglish
      3·
      7 days ago

      When I was young I had so many hairstyles. I did ponytails, I did muffin-tops, I did mullets, I even did cornrows once. Having hair was fun.

      The last time I grew my hair out I realized I was starting to look like Michael Bolton and chopped it off and donated it. Been shaved ever since. Growing up happens.

      • Nangijala@feddit.dk
        3·
        6 days ago

        Yeah, if it gets to the point where the hair starts thinning that intensely, it’s better to just shave it off and bald is pretty awesome too! Don’t get me wrong. I was more so speaking from the vantage point of me and several of my female friends when we were teenagers and early 20s women. I’m neck deep into my 30s atm and at this point, looks matters very little. My boyfriend has very short hair and hasn’t worn band shirts for almost two decades but he’s still a total snack to me.

        • ameancow@lemmy.worldEnglish
          3·
          6 days ago

          Unrelated to anything, but I just find this funny because I have had to talk to so, so many young men as an older guy who has done mentorship/coaching.

          I’m neck deep into my 30s atm and at this point, looks matters very little. My boyfriend has very short hair and hasn’t worn band shirts for almost two decades but he’s still a total snack to me.

          You and a hundred million women in their 30’s will repeat this sentiment all day every day. But the moment one ditzy college-age girl says on twitter that she prefers tall guys who wear expensive watches, suddenly an army of incels is born as that one take gets sent all the way to the top of every social media feed and carves out an entire new political movement.

          • Nangijala@feddit.dk
            3·
            6 days ago

            Yeah. People like to be victims. It gives you a out of jail free card to not work on yourself if the world is against you. Doesn’t matter how true or false that is. If you want to find an excuse to not try and to victimize yourself at the same time, there is no limit.

            There is sort of a sad poetic irony to the guys who value money and looks over anything substantial because they will spend all their time and energy on appearing rich and alpha and then they will bitch and moan when they can’t find a girl who loves them for them.

            And saddest of all: they literally can’t see that all the things they hate women for are their very own values in life, projected onto the opposite sex.

      • Nangijala@feddit.dk
        4·
        7 days ago

        Where are you from? :D I’m Danish and here, being a long haired guy with band t-shirts mostly translates to “dude probably works in tech and is a massive nerd”

    • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      11·
      6 days ago

      Am as described, (well, part of my hair is long, the middle. Sides not so much), wear band shirts (punk/metal mostly), and pull out the boots in the winter myself, buuuuuut

      Only way a guy could fuck it up for himself with me was if he started the nice guy routine or was so socially awkward he couldn’t talk to a girl.

      100% I’d miss whatever sly little hints you’re throwing, and even if I noticed them I’d think you’re surely just being nice and there’s no way you’re into me.

      I’d imagine I’m far from the only one, not talking at all on the date or being able to leave home is a little far lol, but don’t write us off just because we are a little awkward or would rather miss signals than make someone feel uncomfortable being hit on in public! I mean hell, why do you think we have long hair and like metal/punk? It’s often partially because we’re a little socially awkward/anxious, and that community is very understanding of it!

      • Nangijala@feddit.dk
        2·
        5 days ago

        My friend, I am not remotely the sly hinty type. I am an elephant in a china shop if I decide to pursue a guy.

        At the same time, I am the queen of obliviousness if a guy I deeply respect and like shows me any form of romantic attention, because I don’t believe that someone that amazing could ever like someone like me. Took my boyfriend a few months of sending literal love letters with romantic quotes and pressed flowers, a few visits to my apartment where we would just hang out and get to know each other and him telling me bluntly to my face after a few months that he had a crush on me before the hamster wheel started spinning in my head. The effort he put in to get to know me and to woo me was completely fucking alien to me because most of my romantic endeavors in the past had been me pulling teeth. So, I totally get the concept of being dumb as a brick when somebody likes you.

        but don’t write us off just because we are a little awkward

        My guy. I’m not talking about a “little” awkward. The example I gave was of a guy with debilitating social anxiety. When I said “so shy and awkward he couldn’t talk to a girl” I mean it literally. He did not talk to me. He barely looked at me. I walked 20 km to see him at his place (which is pretty fucking stupid, but very gracious of a then 17 year old girl who just wanted this random guy she had never met, to feel comfortable) and I sat there and held a one-sided conversation afloat for at least an hour while he was a potato across from me. He was not a bad guy, he just could not talk to a girl. Probably never had talked to a girl until I came by. I gave up eventually and walked all the way back. 20 km.

        I have never written a guy off for being a little awkward. Ever. What I did do was to often put my own comforts, needs and emotional well being on hold for guys who didn’t bother to give anything back at all. I have dated shy, awkward and mentally ill guys. They weren’t great to me. At all. I did all the work all the time and if I ever asked for a crumb of affection I had to deal with tantrums about how they had social anxiety or depression or something else so my comforts didn’t matter because they had it worse and they came first and I had to be more mindful and patient with them.

        Being a little shy and awkward is fine. I don’t mind that at all. I mind it when it becomes what defines a person and they feel entitled to make their issue someone else’s responsibility to carry for them.

        Relationships are a two way street. You can be shy and awkward and even have social anxiety, but that is not up to a potential partner to fix or accommodate for you at the expense of their own mental and physical health. That is your burden to bear. In dating you cannot sit in silence and let the other person do all the work for you and then get offended if they move on from you. If you give them nothing, they won’t stick around. Even a doormat like me ended up not wanting to deal with that bs anymore and I was lucky enough to end up with someone who understands that you need to earn the other person’s affection and loyalty. It is not owed to you.

      • Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world
        1·
        6 days ago

        No, Ive never met Eileen, let alone cum on her…

        Rolling up your shirt sleeves (as shown in fig 1) is a known panty pickler:

        fig 1 - dude about to get some

        I don’t pretend to know why, but it works.

        • Case@lemmy.world
          2·
          6 days ago

          Offset by a nice (from a fashion sense, not cost) watch? My wife would be drooling lol.

          Now if only I had Chris Hemsworth’s Thor physique to go with it.

  • HakunaHafada@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    131·
    6 days ago

    Internalized homophobia is a hell of a thing to overcome. Some guys think those things are gay because that’s what they were told by figures of authority.

    Source: was raised as one of those guys.

  • rottingleaf@lemmy.world
    15·
    7 days ago

    I mean, it maybe wasn’t gay, but was definitely a reference to something hellish, depraved, opposed to common morality, weak, like that.

    Because back then it clearly meant protest against authority, against hierarchy, against stereotypic masculinity, against war, against evil covered by normalcy.

    In some sense it’s an intentional show of vulnerability, that look.

    And I’d take that over Kipelov in Russia every day, that moron who doesn’t fucking understand what rock music is.

  • skisnow@lemmy.caEnglish
    152·
    7 days ago

    I don’t know if I’ve got a big enough sample size, but the only guys I know who wear black nail polish are creepy Marilyn Manson types who mainly get laid with girls they met in their therapist’s waiting room

  • Damaskox@lemmy.world
    9·
    7 days ago

    I go with black socks, black sandals, black cargo pants and black turtleneck all year around.

    Well, I’ll change for combat boots when the snow comes.

  • realitista@lemmus.orgEnglish
    3·
    5 days ago

    Can you imagine just walking around in modern society looking dolled up like a member of Poison? I’m sure they didn’t even go around like that every day.