I don’t really have the stomach to type out the atrocities he participated in. He’ll tell you all about them when he lives with you. He’s very proud of it. It’s all he talks about.

Good point. Though it might be taxing on your body?

Just my luck.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t really help given that you also left your fingerprints, hair, driver’s license, and semen at the scene. But it serves you very well during your incarceration.

You’re not going to want to when you hear his story.

If you have the confidence to pull it off, you’ll get the party started every single time.

It’s yours. But you do get just enough diarrhea from the pill that a $5 bottle of Pepto would really make a difference. But it’s your money and your call.

It’s a very moot point.

If you were a true fan, you’d know it’s called Warhammer 40km. 🙄

Sir, the AI bros are stealing everything inside the gates…!?

Damn, the Jardiance in America must be some strong shit!

We’ve had different experiences in Albania, but fair enough. If that’s what you’re into.

But I literally just finished? And she seems weirdly pissed? And I’m sleepy. Women: you just can’t please 'em!

That’s what I’m saying. Surely over a meal, we put our heads together and figure the rest out. He clearly knows how to perform at a high level or he wouldn’t be where he is today.

How do you know she isn’t mistranslating your messages to the dog to make it think she’s on its side? You’ve got an awful lot of trust…

“Got any more treats?”

No.

“Wanna touch me a little?”

NO.

“…can I hump your leg a little, at least?”

Nobody would believe it. They’d accuse you of faking it a la Milli Vanilli. You have a talking dog, a literal miracle, and yet people would mock and criticize. Depressed, you’d turn to alcohol. The good shit, sure–that dog made you a little money, after all–but paying more for your poison only makes it drain all of your resources that much faster. You’re a husk of your former self.

But you’ve still got your dog who still loves you unconditionally, against all odds. :)

I do love how many problems this solves. Very nearly all of them, potentially.

The teleport place is Tirana, Albania. Nobody said the same spot in Tirana, Albania every time. Your real estate investment was rash and very rarely saves you time. But it does increase in value a tiny bit, so eh you’re fine.

Nobody said your stuff teleports. Just you. Don’t be greedy.