Mine hit me with the “We’re spending all this money on you now so you can’t grow up and say we didn’t spend money on you when your were a kid.”
Two weeks after I explained to my father why I had an abortion … and he calmly said he understood my reasons … he told me I’d murdered his grandchild.
He was a real winner, my dad.
I’m so sorry he responded like that, he’s not the one who would have carried, birthed, and raised that child. I hope you’re doing okay and are at peace with the decision you made.
Thanks. I’m good. I thought long and hard about it beforehand because I didn’t want to regret my decision.
The monster that raised me was a real piece of work.
Context: she adopted me and 3 others. The other 3 were adopted when she was a single parent.
- “I didn’t want you. <ex husband> did.”
- “Stick to your own kind.” (In front of my mixed-ethnicity siblings, when I introduced a girl I was seeing to her)
- ”Ain’t no son of mine is going to be a <slur>” (all 3 of my siblings had developmental disorders, I only asked to be tested)
- “I don’t want that <homophobic slur> in my house no more, I don’t want AIDS”
- “If you really hate me that much go back to your whore mother, she didn’t want you either”
- ”Nobody wants you, I don’t even want you.” (She used this one a lot)
- ”Where would you be if I didn’t take you in?” (Also used this one a lot)
- ”Read. My. Lips.” (I had moderate to severe hearing loss back then, and she refused to learn sign language. She would also get right in my face when she did that)
- ”You a <homophobic slur> now?” (When I pierced both of my ears)
- ”If you move out don’t ever come back, don’t call me, don’t talk to me, don’t ask me for diggity shit”
That last one was fun. I met my partner and snuck out in the middle of the night to fly across the world just to get away from her. She reported me as kidnapped multiple times even after I contacted the detectives AND her to let her know I was only following instructions. Then she denied she ever said that. That was the last time I spoke to her, over a decade ago.
I’m in therapy twice a week for the past few years, was recently diagnosed with adhd and autism, and non-binary transfem. My partner is Indonesian. She can rot in piss.
- you are pathetic
- you make me want to vomit
- you are disgusting
- you are a disloyal, condescending asshole
- you are sickening
- I can’t wait until I no longer have to be around you
Borderline Personality Disorder is not a ride I ever asked to be on.
My step father told me about the time he told my biological father that he had slept with my mom.
I was a small child and we were all living in a house together, my mom, biological father and step father(my bio dads bff at the time). Step father took my bio father out and told him what they had done. My bio father was so happy to hear the news he shook my step father’s hand and thanked him profusely. He then proceeded to tell my step father how he wanted to burn the house down with me and my mom in it so this is the best news he could possibly get.
After my step father told me this story he followed it up with “at that moment I should have known and left your mother” 🫠
** record scratch noises **
I’m guessing your Mom is now on ‘team Bear’.
I would consider that your Mom is the problem here except that the dudes lumped you in with being burned alive, and that suggests they are the PoS.
Lol she’s on team dead and yes.
My dad said various things about “dirty Mexicans”, eugenic stuff about black people or people with severe mental handicaps, and always had some offhand extreme solution for non-conformists who rocked the boat.
He kept it mostly under wraps when I was younger, but as he got older and the Fox News worm ate into his and his social circle’s brains it started leaking out a lot more.
Being sent off to “military school” was an occasional threat. Like that was going to magically fix things.
The money thing is such a fucked up thing to say. “Do you know how much money you cost?!” As if the price of raising children is something a 6 yo is responsible for!
If I was gay I’d have to be lobotomized, not would or could, I’d have to be… and he’d do it himself. 10 yo and wanted my dad dead.
And the insane gaslighting! He’d stink of cigarettes, reeeeek! Clearly he’d been smoking, but would deny it with the shittiest lies: person X blew smoke in my face! I walked past someone who smoked!
Or when I got a bicycle, dad would guilt trip me af for having spent money on it. And whenever I couldn’t cycle, meaning it would take 10 yo me an hour to get there (20ish KM), he’d be fuming and say he’d sell the bike since I’m not using it…
I’m firmly a believer that having children shouldn’t be allowed for everyone. Some people are terrible and should be sterilized and enslaved. I just don’t know how to implement it, yet!
from what the op description is saying, basically the parents think its transactional investment, so they expect to be repaid in full or more in the future. im suspecting they are saying it so they can ask for free money down the line to pay thier own mismanaged finances, or they will ask op to “retire” them by living with OP rent free.
yeah. the majority of stuff they’d say was like that, in fact. it’s part of why i don’t talk to them anymore lol
My grandparents came to the US from Germany. Upon hearing my dad say black people that don’t like trumps (1.0) America should go back to Africa, i reminded him that most of them are way more American than we are. I could hear his brain break through the phone
Let me add to that, this is something my own mother said while being of sound mind:
- parents should have the right to kill their children if they become unruly (She said it twice)
I had a fight with my sister and I threw away a box of brownies in anger, and my parents told me they should have just gone ahead with the abortion instead of backing down from it because my grandfather wouldn’t allow it, I don’t know if I hate my parents or my grandfather more.
Yeah my dad has said so many things that have left me stunned. I have had to explain tax brackets to this man so many fucking times. He keeps thinking if he goes up a bracket the overall tax % will increase and therefore he will actually have less money.
My da told me “God does not forgive people who curse his name.”
I asked “But God forgives people who sexually abuse kids?”
“If they ask for forgiveness, yes.”
wHy DoNt YoU aTtEnD cHuRcH aNyMoRe??? lmao shut up.
LOL, that’s not even scripturally correct. He doesn’t know his own faith! 😂 This is common, and really sad when you think about it, because their faith is their “single most important thing” in life & they’re so damn ignorant of it. Like…it’s one book. Read it, if you are so inclined?
There is only one sin earmarked as the eternal sin, the unforgivable sin. Explicitly described in Matthew 12:30–32, alluded to in other relevant passages. “Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit”. Even blasphemy against the Son of Man (Jesus) will be forgiven…but never the Holy Spirit. Because it’s simply too big of a contradiction or discrepancy in how the Christian faith operates & how one is saved. You have the “power of the Holy Spirit” working through you, working with Christ & God the Father on your behalf. Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is largely interpreted as to deny that very power, the power that saves.
It is akin to needing hydration, but refusing to drink large amounts of any kind of liquid ever. Or needing an electrical charge to run a device, but never making a connection to transfer the power, you’re going to somehow “will” or speak the power into your phone. Well. That’s simply not how it works, and you’ll never have power.
I only explain to provide clarity of the Christian faith to others, I do not profess the faith present day, it has taken 25 years of my life. Others are welcome to comment, of course, but I’m not here to argue endlessly over “how many angels can dance on the point of a very fine needle”. As they say, and have done before, and has since morphed more colloquially into “on the head of a pin”. 😉
Is that denominationally specific? I’ve never heard of it.
Knowing the actual theology is so rare in Christianity (or any religion) it’s basically not an important part. Which explains history.
Damn, I’ve never blasphemed that one. I may die and end up in heaven due to my religious upbringing. Can’t have that…
FUCK THE HOLY SPIRIT
Cursing the holy spirit is not blaspheming the holy spirit.
The only way to blaspheme the Holy Spirit is to have the Holy Spirit move through you, where you know beyond any shadow of any doubt that the essence of God itself is working in your actions, to be purified and elevated above mankind, and then to claim that this purification, elevation, and miracle comes from the devil and not from God.
It is very difficult to do this, and even then, Jesus himself said you would be in danger of Hellfire, not guaranteed to go to Hell forever.
Well, at least you won’t spend Eternity with a bunch of kiddie diddlers that repent before the end.
Good on you.
I believe the “angels on the head of a pin” were Victorian scholars parodying the medieval debates they were studying at the time. It’s somewhat unfair because the mediaval scholars are much more sophisticated than that but the parody has endured.
Welcome to “I interpret scripture as whatever benefits me” or whatnot.
He’s actually a spiritual leader in our community. It all sucks. Lol
Also: taking the Lord’s name in vain is doing something bad and saying you did it for religious reasons.
They’re not on the same plane as everyone else. Fantasy delusion to the detriment of the living.
I’m American: my dad told me a couple years ago that immigrants were “unclean.” I’m almost 40, and that was the first time he’d ever used that phrase. That’s probably the first time I realized how “mainstream” extremism had become, since he has virtually zero online presence.
This is why red jurisdictions are a “no-go zone” for me as an Asian American first generation immigrant.
Just FYI, “first generation” refers to the first generation born in the adopted country. Which is to say, if you immigrated, your kids would be first generation Americans.
Hmm…
According to USCB, the first generation of immigrants is composed of individuals who are foreign-born, which includes naturalized citizens, lawful permanent residents, protracted temporary residents (such as long-staying foreign students and migrant workers, but not tourists and family visitors), humanitarian migrants (such as refugees and asylees), and even unauthorized migrants.
In some definitions, however, those born to at least one immigrant parent are considered “first generation” – or rather, first generation of an immigrant’s descendants (i.e., second generation from the USCB definition)
The term 1.5 generation or 1.5G, although not widely used, refers to first-generation immigrants who immigrated to the new country before or during their early teens, ages 6–12. They earn the label the “1.5 generation” because while they spend their formative years engaging in assimilation and socialization in the new country, they often still maintain native language, cultural traits and even national identities from their country of origin. Oftentimes, in the case of small children, a battle of linguistic comprehension occurs between their academic language and the language spoken at home. Their identity is, thus, a combination of new and old culture and tradition. Sociologist Rubén Rumbaut was among the first to use the term to examine outcomes among those arriving in the United States before adolescence, but since then the term has expanded to include foreign students, as well as other unique individuals.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immigrant_generations
I guess I’m just using the American definition. I’m 1.5 Generation by that definition.
Interesting. I was explicitly taught differently in school.
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Sobering up left a void. He filled it with a different bad vice. Gotta have something positive to replace a vice before attempting to remove it
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I went on a trip to another country. Unfortunately, I had an accident (involving a fucking hurricane) that almost killed me.I had insurance so they covered all the medical expenses, including tickets and accomdations for one of my parents (aka: one of them could come free of charge). They decided that it was a good opportunity to visit the country since one was coming “for free” and they only had to pay for the other one.
Years later, my father told me that they are still paying the debt for the money they spent “because of me” when I had that accident so it was my fault they were in debt.
So just to reiterate: What they’re paying off is literally just one of their vacation bills? I mean this would be an odd accusation even if it included other expenses but like… Huh?!
Apparently, going from europe to america buying the ticket at last minute is very expensive, they also had to add the stay in the hotel for one of them. For what he said, he spent around 9k euro on that trip (odd, i paid around 1500 for two people). Still, he threw that to me to make me feel guilty of their shitty spending habits. It was some years ago, when our relationship was already ice cold.
They both are shitty parents and now they wonder why I don’t talk to them.
Damn. Yeah sounds like a very mature and responsible person 😬 I’ve got a dad like that too.
Yeah they… are not good parents. They always were more interested in drinking than in growing their kids. And they both try to make you feel miserable because they now have understood that they lost their children due to their own selfishness and ego.
When he tried to make me feel bad for almost dying in another country, it was the thing that snapped and made me cut the already thin ties completely.
Even if you hadn’t had insurance and they didn’t take a vacation, but one of them visited you to make sure their kid was treated well, that’s a fucking insane thing to say.
Just sitting and having a casual lunch with my dad at work. Sack lunches that my mom had made us! When he nonchalantly tells me that women aren’t people and only exist for men’s enjoyment. I basically completely froze out of shock as he spends the next half hour trying to use excerpts from the Bible to prove his point.
I haven’t had a conversation with him since and that was nearly 20 years ago. Also realized that Christianity is not something I want to be associated with.
Funny thing is that he used to be adamant that god uses Parkinson’s to punish only the worst sinners and he’s got it now… Apparently there was some engine cleaning solvent my mom desperately tried to get him to stop using? The government banned it because it was giving people Parkinson’s so he stocked up on it to prove my mom wrong…
Ayyy my da told me that line about women, too!
I also am a woman!
Holy shit I’m so sorry
It’s okay.
Really messed me up, tbh. Told that my purpose as a woman was to get married and “please my husband”, no matter what.
As a teen, my desire to like boys never manifested. My youth pastor would preach about how women were princesses whose desire was to be saved by a knight, and men were knights seeking adventure. I always wanted the adventure, and I was completely ostracized for it.
Imagine being told that your purpose is to be loved, then realizing that your true self is something nobody will ever love.
It’s disturbing, and I was severely depressed throughout my entire young & teenage years.
(it got much worse, but I don’t want to go over that. Just know that I escaped that shit eventually.)
Thanks for letting us know that you escaped.
And just so you know: I love my girlfriend, because she is the adventurer between us. She climbs mountains and explores exotic countries, she’s rugged and confident and the coolest person I know. She is my knight and although I’m no princess, she is very much loved for wanting adventure.
Using the wrong engine cleaning solvent is a terrible sin and he’s being punished for his hubris
Unhinged!! 😮😳
That end is poetic.
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Like he’ll it ain’t. Almost every Christian sect teaches that women are “less then” ,there may not be a direct quote in the book saying woman are not real people. But the teachings of the churches most definitely leans that way.
The account you are replying to is a troll account and should be taken with 0 seriousness.👍
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A sect is a sub-group of people unified by beliefs or practice, a denomination is essentially just a large named sect. Christianity is not monolithic and organises into groups, it by definition has sects.
Even if you were right it’s such a ridiculously pointless and pedantic argument, it does nothing to further the conversation. You’re just trying to use cheap gotchas as a thought-terminating cliche. The only thing you’ve done is to force us to literally argue semantics, that is not a good look for you.
For completeness, here’s a Christian source using the word sect to describe Christian groups, one of the top search engine hits when I searched.
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That’s why we can have a woman as the pope, right?
So one of you jokers reported my reply despite it violating zero community or sitewide rules
It’s pretty clear your bigotry for theism makes all of you incapable of a rational conversation on this topic
And you assumed it was me because… why? Lol mate, I haven’t reported you
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