Mine hit me with the “We’re spending all this money on you now so you can’t grow up and say we didn’t spend money on you when your were a kid.”

  • HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works
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    Two weeks after I explained to my father why I had an abortion … and he calmly said he understood my reasons … he told me I’d murdered his grandchild.

    He was a real winner, my dad.

    • luminaree@lemmy.world
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      I’m so sorry he responded like that, he’s not the one who would have carried, birthed, and raised that child. I hope you’re doing okay and are at peace with the decision you made.

  • kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    I was talking to my father about the war in Palestine (my family and I are Jewish so its not unusual). I said “hey maybe peace is a better way of combatting terrorism”, he responded that concentration camps should be built to combat terrorism and strip the Palestinians of their culture and identity.

      • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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        Excellent quote and deeply, tragically profound.

        l’ve noticed the modern philosophizing kids have distilled this mentality down to the mocking phrase:

        “One day I’ll get to be the one wearing the boot! :D

        • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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          It’s an extremely unfortunate quote especially when you consider the context of Paulo Freire’s work: he was an educator that understood that teaching should not be an assembly line even back in 1960s, when the adult illiterate population was very large. One of his feats was coming with with a method that successfully meshed adults’ livelihoods and work as means to teach them how to read and write in record time. To the country’s despair, the 1964 coup killed any chance of his method being applied nationwide. He was jailed for a bit over 2 months as “traitor” then had to exile himself.

          Yet, to this day, he’s demonized by the political right as a subversive communist and the main “culprit”, according to them, for the failures of our education system (“they only teach ideology at schools and universities!!!”), despite his methods only ever being applied in very limited places and times.

      • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
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        Man, I love that quote. I hadn’t seen it before.

        I’m pretty skeptical anyone has the answer on how to educate in the way that’s being implied, though. Humans love to hate.

  • joytoy@feddit.nl
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    The monster that raised me was a real piece of work.

    Context: she adopted me and 3 others. The other 3 were adopted when she was a single parent.

    • “I didn’t want you. <ex husband> did.”
    • “Stick to your own kind.” (In front of my mixed-ethnicity siblings, when I introduced a girl I was seeing to her)
    • ”Ain’t no son of mine is going to be a <slur>” (all 3 of my siblings had developmental disorders, I only asked to be tested)
    • “I don’t want that <homophobic slur> in my house no more, I don’t want AIDS”
    • “If you really hate me that much go back to your whore mother, she didn’t want you either”
    • ”Nobody wants you, I don’t even want you.” (She used this one a lot)
    • ”Where would you be if I didn’t take you in?” (Also used this one a lot)
    • ”Read. My. Lips.” (I had moderate to severe hearing loss back then, and she refused to learn sign language. She would also get right in my face when she did that)
    • ”You a <homophobic slur> now?” (When I pierced both of my ears)
    • ”If you move out don’t ever come back, don’t call me, don’t talk to me, don’t ask me for diggity shit”

    That last one was fun. I met my partner and snuck out in the middle of the night to fly across the world just to get away from her. She reported me as kidnapped multiple times even after I contacted the detectives AND her to let her know I was only following instructions. Then she denied she ever said that. That was the last time I spoke to her, over a decade ago.

    I’m in therapy twice a week for the past few years, was recently diagnosed with adhd and autism, and non-binary transfem. My partner is Indonesian. She can rot in piss.

  • Waldelfe@feddit.org
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    While writing my master thesis my professor suddenly left the university. Noone ever really knew why and there was no official statement other than a short sentence on the website that Prof. XYZ has left the department. My master thesis was on hold while I had to find a new professor. My mother, who has always accused me of being lazy and lying, insisted that it was all a lie. When I pointed out the news on the university website, she said: “I don’t know how you hacked the website and got it to display your lies, but I’m not falling for your deceit.” I am not a computer science major, I studied linguistics.

    • Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de
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      I am not a computer science major, I studied linguistics.

      We’re not falling for your deceit, Noam Chomsky. You probably used some context-free grammar to hack the website.

      • Waldelfe@feddit.org
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        Well, according to her, university degrees are all worthless nowadays and “a masters is at a level a high school degree used to be at”. She also told me my As were worthless because “everybody gets an A nowadays just for showing up to class”.

          • Waldelfe@feddit.org
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            Nope. I’ve been no contact for years, but when I still had contact, she just kept moving the goalpost. When I had good grades in school: They don’t mean anything, only the grades for Abitur (A-Levels) count. When I had good grades in Abitur: It means nothing, noone will ever ask for your Abitur grades again. Only the university degree counts. When I had my bachelors: Bachelor is worthless, only the master is a REAL degree. When I had my master degree: The master degree is worthless… And that’s the point where I cut contact with her.

  • PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works
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    • you are pathetic
    • you make me want to vomit
    • you are disgusting
    • you are a disloyal, condescending asshole
    • you are sickening
    • I can’t wait until I no longer have to be around you

    Borderline Personality Disorder is not a ride I ever asked to be on.

  • GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    My dad, the tech genius that he is, has been against every minor step forward since the 90’s:

    “Why do i need an answering machine, if they need me, they’ll call back.” He worked for himself as a handyman, so this is plain ridiculous. Finally, someone gives him an answering machine and suddenly it’s “This is awesome! I never miss a call! I’ve got so much work!” Later it was “Why do I need a debit card? I can just write a check!” which evolved to “It’s so convenient! I can get gas, even when they’re closed!” He repeated the answering machine argument when cell phones arrived, and repeated the results when he finally got one.

    It’s a running theme in his life. The one that really gobsmacked me was when he proudly declared “the Internet can’t hurt me if i don’t get on it!”

    • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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      I think the saddest part about this is the phenomenon where people who didn’t understand tech were scared of new stuff that was actually really neat and helpful…

      …and nowadays they’re ridiculously trusting of shiny user-friendly corporate garbage that spies on them and manipulates them.

      • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
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        Hilariously relevant username, considering I was just going to reply with a “we’re too far from swinging in the trees now to handle it”.

        • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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          Haha yay, first time I got a “username checks out”! :D hahaha.

          Reject predatory techbro products, return to monke! XD

          • SL3wvmnas@discuss.tchncs.de
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            Just last week I was re-patching some nasty piece of business logic at a client for a day and remembered the application “Filter Top” from the nineties, where I solved a similar (but slightly simpler) problem on a far inferior less advanced platform in a few minutes with a GUI even.

            Return to monke. I’m with you.

    • Fedegenerate@lemmynsfw.com
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      I fought against getting a contactless debit card for so long. I used to call my bank a month or so before my card expired demanding a non-contactless card. “But sir, you could just not activate the contact…” I don’t want any of it. I’d say “when I forget my pin it’s time to go home” paying chip and PIN like a peasant. I probably said “PIN Number” for how stupid I was being.

      Anyway, contactless payment is awesome.

      My fears are still grounded. Originally it was because, near weekly, I saw someone paying with a card they just picked off the floor. I hated the limit being so high long before they raised it, let alon after they raised it again. Also a skill check before ordering another beer has some merit.

      • Ledericas@lemm.ee
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        i went tapa nd pay with CC recently, because i was still using the sliding feature for the longest time, because cc stealers can easily put on thier readers in a matter of seconds you wouldnt know.

        • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world
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          So when you walk up to a terminal with your Visa and you tap your card it inputs a one time code. That code only matches up on the point of sale/banks end. If they take the same code and try to transmit it at say Wendy’s, it won’t work, as it has already been used. If someone swipes your card with a magnetic strip, or reads the numbers off manually and enters them online/in person/or over the phone the information will stay the same and can be used at elsewhere.

          Most of the anti tap worries are unfounded fear. Also the terminals that allow payments for two to pay also get registered so if someone steals a terminal to modify it, the terminal would be reported stolen by the owner, or if the terminal was purchased by the theif, it would have to be registered by them, and once again can get an investigation pointed in their direction fairly quickly. Is it possible to beat, I’m sure, but it’s MUCH easier to just jot down the numbers or skim thee strip

        • sugarfoot00@lemmy.ca
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          Tell me you’re American without telling me you’re American. That hasn’t been an option where I am for nearly 2 decades.

  • one time when I was little I heard my mum making weird noises in her room. i didn’t go check why. the next morning i asked her why were you making weird noises? she said “I was imagining eating Chinese food that was so good”

  • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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    A few days ago my mom made a “joke” that clearly having good kids skipped a generation right after commenting about how well behaved my kids were.

    With my own kids now I’ve been realizing how many of the “behaviors” my parents would complain about and expect me to improve upon were just normal kid stuff

  • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
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    My dad recently buult a new garden shed in the garden for tools and gardening stuff. He now started refering to the gazebo in the same garden as “the old shed” for some fucking reason. We were doing something that required power and ge asked me to plug in an extension in the shed. I do that and a couple minutes later he berates me and says he meant the old shed. When I asked if he meant the gazebo, he looked at me as if I had slapped him in the face. We’ve had the gazebo for about 15 years now I think and nobody ever called anything but that.

  • Xella@lemmy.world
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    My step father told me about the time he told my biological father that he had slept with my mom.

    I was a small child and we were all living in a house together, my mom, biological father and step father(my bio dads bff at the time). Step father took my bio father out and told him what they had done. My bio father was so happy to hear the news he shook my step father’s hand and thanked him profusely. He then proceeded to tell my step father how he wanted to burn the house down with me and my mom in it so this is the best news he could possibly get.

    After my step father told me this story he followed it up with “at that moment I should have known and left your mother” 🫠

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    My dad said various things about “dirty Mexicans”, eugenic stuff about black people or people with severe mental handicaps, and always had some offhand extreme solution for non-conformists who rocked the boat.

    He kept it mostly under wraps when I was younger, but as he got older and the Fox News worm ate into his and his social circle’s brains it started leaking out a lot more.

    Being sent off to “military school” was an occasional threat. Like that was going to magically fix things.

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    Reading this makes me realize how many people had really fucked up childhoods. I feel sorry for all of you, don’t give up hope for humanity, and choose (if you can) how to live your own life. There are better people out there.

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    My grandparents came to the US from Germany. Upon hearing my dad say black people that don’t like trumps (1.0) America should go back to Africa, i reminded him that most of them are way more American than we are. I could hear his brain break through the phone

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    The money thing is such a fucked up thing to say. “Do you know how much money you cost?!” As if the price of raising children is something a 6 yo is responsible for!

    If I was gay I’d have to be lobotomized, not would or could, I’d have to be… and he’d do it himself. 10 yo and wanted my dad dead.

    And the insane gaslighting! He’d stink of cigarettes, reeeeek! Clearly he’d been smoking, but would deny it with the shittiest lies: person X blew smoke in my face! I walked past someone who smoked!

    Or when I got a bicycle, dad would guilt trip me af for having spent money on it. And whenever I couldn’t cycle, meaning it would take 10 yo me an hour to get there (20ish KM), he’d be fuming and say he’d sell the bike since I’m not using it…

    I’m firmly a believer that having children shouldn’t be allowed for everyone. Some people are terrible and should be sterilized and enslaved. I just don’t know how to implement it, yet!

    • Ledericas@lemm.ee
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      from what the op description is saying, basically the parents think its transactional investment, so they expect to be repaid in full or more in the future. im suspecting they are saying it so they can ask for free money down the line to pay thier own mismanaged finances, or they will ask op to “retire” them by living with OP rent free.