I know who’s getting kidnapped next!

This was excellent and I appreciate you.

Hahahahaha. Like they’ll listen to anything he says.

Ffs, performative politics is all the dems know how to do. We want action, they want status quo or maybe slightly better, but they certainly don’t wanna go to the mattresses. That’s how we got here.

Honestly, I’d find it pretty awesome if someone I was dating knew half the things I’ve learned about from Wikipedia that are interesting yet have no practical effect on my day to day. Maybe the most applicable thing I’ve learned about there is the Dunning Kruger effect, though this helps me understand certain types of people and opinions more than it helps me do anything about it. Most of it is as useful as the ship: fun to find out about and then just trivia the makes me like a Lemmy post.

That thing stopped existing eighty years ago.

Oh shit, did he just make me respect him more than I already did?

He’s the smartest man in generations. He said we don’t need vaccines and now I’m ok to eat roadkill without worrying about parasites. What a hero.

My dad almost died from polio. Vaccines are a major part of my existing (my mother got vaccinated against it). Fuck this guy.

I WANT A BRAINWORM. LET’S LEAVE A DEAD BEAR IN CENTRAL PARK AND TELL THAT RACIST SHITHEAD ROSANNE ABOUT IT!

Oh shit! You mean it’s ok to not commit atrocities atrocities? What an innovative new idea.

Oh, that would be a shame. Not like I was already planning on buying a new computer this year and the idea of over-paying due to RAM shortages and other bs has made me mad at them. After already being mad at them for a lot of reasons that were more abstract in how they harmed me. Fuck 'em.

Hey, you know that Microsoft guy in a high position who pissed off devs on Twitter by saying their code would be replaced by AI and then a lot of the internet called him on his shit? Maybe I can work for him (because I’m certainly not talented enough to get hired directly under ass-face here).

His eyes sure look frightened.

Can we also make people who still pay for things at a store with a check go to the bad one? It was before the pan, but I couldn’t believe what I was seeing when a lady pulled out her checkbook in front of me at the checkout line. Gtf outta here.

Gosh, Joe. Is Trump bad? Does he want to do bad things? Was voting for him bad? Does that make you bad?

Don’t worry about it, buddy. You were still right to tell everyone you supported him and would vote for him and that you wanted him to hold you in his big strong pudding-arms while you fell asleep. You were right to support him on air with your millions of idiot listeners. It’s ok, pal. Just let everyone know that you don’t approve of this latest bad stuff and then it’s not your fault. There you go, guy.

That’s the correct response from a leader. If someone disagrees with you, penalize them. It’s only fair. /s

Oh dear, Tim. I guess you just told us your future.

It’s really cool how he made all this money in a state that had favorable conditions for his tech business and then wants to run away without paying his share for infrastructure. Asshole.

Yes, that’s exactly why we had to stop. She pounced when we weren’t playing and scratched my eye. Luckily, no permanent damage. (I was lying down when she got me.)

“What else can we do that’s hostile to our customers?”

The next move will be bringing back Clippy and then a full-screen ad that you have to dismiss every ten seconds.

Something else that just occurred to me… It’s only a matter of time before we kidnap Zelensky to end Putin’s invasion of Ukraine.

Is he still the non-interventionist candidate? /s

Every man who posts the meme should have to use this.