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Tbh that does sound kind of nice right about now.
Shit moves so fast you’d come back to a completely different world. Itd be like the planet of the apes
Back to the island it is then!
Therapy won’t make the world they have to go back to any better than it was before.
Yeah, wtf does therapy even do? My brain is fucked because of the reality of my situation not because I have some dysfunctional mindset I need to work through. It’s all external factors. Having to grind away at a job I hate just to scrape by while everything continues to get more expensive, billionaires burning the world, and our government falls to fascists is fucking hell. You’d have to be crazy not to have a fucked up mentality. Am I supposed to spend even more money I don’t have just to talk about my problems?
Alternatively being able to completely disconnect from all this shit for a month where I have no choice but to simply focus on survival sounds pretty great.
Therapy is mostly about meditation, coping strategies, and self-improvement.
I think you might balk at the suggestion of developing coping strategies at all, but this:
being able to completely disconnect from all this shit for a month
Is a coping strategy. It doesn’t really fix anything, but it does help you manage stress. I assume you can’t take a month off, so therapy would say, “Okay, what’s a second idea.”
The problem with therapy is when you don’t share the life goals of the therapist or the people trying to help you, you end up in a gridlock. I have never had a productive experience with therapists as an adult and I don’t have infinite money to keep trying. My experiences with therapist or other support people in the public school system was downright evil as they wanted me to accomplish their life goals rather then my own.
I know why I’m depressed. I’m depressed because the world is broken and the people that want to do something about it are stonewalled by the people who benefit from it being broken. The elites that know they benefit from it being broken and view that are the natural order and their delusional followers who carved out a bit of limited success in their “professionalism.” Those “professionals” fill the school system and hamper kids who could do better and brainwash them to settle for financial success.
There’s no realistic coping. I just took a week of PTO but by about four days into it my mind was bringing up all the shit I was going to have to do when I got back which just stressed me out again. The only way to get ahead of it would be to get everything done so there’s nothing waiting when you come back which in my role is basically impossible. The only way I see out of this for myself is if I could ever manage to generate enough passive income that I don’t have to have a full time job anymore. But economically everything is going to shit and I was already not in a great place before that so again it’s not realistic to expect anything to improve. Talking about it won’t change anything.
There is. Listen, I’ve watched enough shonen to know that acquiring a positive attitude in the face of adversity is a source of profound strength.
I’m not saying it’s easy.
The world is burning right now? Yeah, and? These are the times you need it the most. This is the time all that mental practice was for.
If a tiger strolled in on your month-long wilderness vacation and bit half your leg off, what, do you just bleed out? Roll over and die? Most men I know know that that’s the time you need to pull yourself together, rid yourself of worldly concerns like panic, tourniquet the wound or whatever, and get yourself to a goddamn medic.
The tiger runs off in this scenario, by the way. It was scared by a… bird. “I wouldn’t have a chance to give up—the tiger would eat me!” Shush.
Okay, I keep trudging along. Great. That’s what I’ve been doing. I’m pulled together as I’m going to be. It doesn’t make me happy or optimistic about the future.
“Hope” is an internal battle. The truly hopeful have learned how to create their own.
So they’re either delusional or they’ve discovered a path out of the hole they’re in. I have neither of those things.
Well, to be fair, neither will getting lost at sea
No, but on a remote uninhabited island you can pretend the bullshit doesn’t exist.
It’s incredibly hard to delude yourself when something is in front of yourself face. Although this is apparently a flaw in me, as most people seem perfectly capable of it.
Assuming you’re rescued. But there’s a chance you’ll get to die without answering another passive aggressive email…ahhh. one can dream.
Sounds more like a break from a crushing capitalist system.
This was in the context of COVID:
Nanjikana said he has taken some positives away from the experience, such as a forced break from the chaos of a global pandemic.
“I had no idea what was going on while I was out there. I didn’t hear about Covid or anything else,” he said. “I look forward to going back home but I guess it was a nice break from everything.”
The comment says a lot about what some people think therapy is for, too.
Therapy can be pretty good at understanding you are not a walking problem, which is where many people are at
But it can’t help with competition- and capitalism- induced suffering :(
As a man who both goes to therapy and enjoys wandering in the back country for no purpose but to be in nature, they’re two useful actions that meet different needs. A therapist one trusts can meet the need of putting your struggles into words, even your most troubling ones that you are embarrassed to share with the people closest to you, or possibly involve those close to you but need help figuring out how to address with them.
Wandering through nature alone is perspective, and disconnection from the noise of humanity. Nature is vast, whether endless ocean to the horizon or never ending mountain ranges as far as you can see. The sound of waves or birds, insects, and a river are quiet compared to the hum of electricity, cars, machines, and people we’re so inundated with that we forget it’s unnatural until we’re away from it. Sense of smell might be our weakest sense but in nature you realize how unclean what we breathe daily really is.
Also, let’s not pretend that escaping civilization and embracing the isolation of nature is something only men enjoy.
It also communicates an overconfidence in therapy as some kind of obvious, proven cure. I’m not sure therapy has proved itself to that degree, especially for men.
And yes. I’ve been to therapy.
Exactly. It’s not reality people want to escape. It’s honest reality people want to find and most people get lost on the way.
But we have to find a way to blame the men for something. I mean… they’re men.
Anybody would rather be lost at sea for 29 days than be forced to participate in a rigged economy
Therapy doesn’t fix reality.
It should help with developing a more healthy perception of reality, isn’t that enough?
I mean for some it can help them accept and process reality a little better.
it is no sign of good health to be properly adapted to a profoundly sick society
It helps to survive. You can still critizice the fucked system while suffering less from it. Often that’s the best one can do.
It has nonzero value for many but that doesn’t elevate it to the status that we should shake our heads at people who don’t go. Like this tweet does.
I disagree.
An unwillingness to engage with therapy, or therapeutic ideas at least, is something I will condescend about. I don’t think very highly of people who have no muscle for self-improvement.
Your logic is perfect as long as therapy is perfect, which it is not. Before you judge anyone on this, you need to allow for the fact that psychology is still a very inexact science and has also done a fair amount of harm over its history.
“No muscle for self-improvement” is not synonymous with “I don’t go to therapy.”
I would cautiously agree with you that it’s also not healthy to be totally against therapy. However in this tweet some men enjoyed a nice break from society and this tweet immediately went to making fun of them for not attending therapy.
THAT is a very big LEAP.
I’m referring to the platonic ideal of therapy; if you have a bad therapist, then find a new one. If you can’t… then that sucks.
But also, there’s a reason I said “therapeutic ideas”: I don’t go to therapy. I already have really strong muscles for self-improvement. The point of therapy, whether you pay for it or not, is to build them if you don’t have them.
In this sense, therapy is 1-to-1 synonymous with becoming a better person. If you’re doing the same work outside of a therapist’s office, that’s a meaningless different to me.
and this tweet immediately went to making fun of them
This tweet is framing the issue intentionally to land a punchline, they’re not talking about the actual guy.
And you become part of what makes it sick if you don’t have they tools to develop a deeper self awareness. I was profoundly skeptical of therapy for a long time, and also thought myself very self aware. But with a good therapist you can uncover enormous blind spots and generally improve how you treat yourself an others. Society is built by those within it.
The irony is that living stranded on an island is a return to reality, not an escape from it.
Being lost at sea for 30 days is the therapy
Too bad he got rescued a day early then.
That last day is where it really sticks/integrates long-term. Too bad.
Dude was out at sea for a month and tried to find a positive from it and peeps decided to be sexist about it
sexist
Jesus Christ, grow up.
Username seems ironic for a bigoted asshole, be better comrade.
Oh I’m bigoted? Lol ok bud. Against whom exactly
Their point might be that “sexism” is misogyny, that negative attitudes toward men aren’t equivalent to the very deliberate oppression of women, that the enforcers of men’s oppression tend to be men. Comments like that from the post aren’t nice and I don’t care to defend it, but it’s somewhat equivalent to a marginalized person making a snarky comment at those who benefit from their oppression, calling it sexist isn’t accurate if we’re discussing systemic oppression (which generally we are whenever women come up).
That said I don’t know this user, for all I know they’re just reactionary lol
Their point might be that “sexism” is misogyny
Then they’re incorrect.
How was that observation immature?
I’m in therapy and I’d still like a month away on a remotely uninhabited island.
But. If you were there…
Well depends on what I’d have obviously, and what the island is like.
But assume basic glamping equipment and a perfect island and I’d be better than now.
Of course crashing on an atoll somewhere without any equipment would be pretty bleak. Deadly even.
Going to therapy?
… in this economy and healthcare system?
And now you’re on a list for RFK Jr’s camps
The sea doesn’t bill by the hour.
The copay is ‘can you find a coconut today?’
Is therapy really that good? I know lots of folks that have been to therapy. They’re still shit.
I went to therapy and found a bunch of NEW things that I was (successfully) suppressing.
I PAID to have MORE problems. I can’t afford ME.
I know that I have a lot of problems. A therapy bill will just be one more and it’s not going to undo the previous problems.
Understanding how and why I’m fucked up is not the same as not being fucked up.
There are different kinds of therapy. Understanding what’s wrong is one thing anf can help to get along with issues. But there is also therapy that focuses on changing your behavior etc
But it’s a step towards being able to (hopefully) process and better live with your issues. It never claimed to magically fix everything in your life, it’s trying to get you to a point where you’re equipped to fix/handle it yourself.
Honestly if you’re not sure how therapy can help you, then therapy can’t properly help you. Most of the work comes from the patient
Therapy allowed me to let my guard down enough to see who I really am. That was pretty invaluable. Not easy or fun, but worth.
Yes…but have you tried a 29 day, 696 hour vacation on a boat?
idk i’ve always had difficulty with therapy because it feels like a trap. “go tell all your deepest darkest secrets to that other person, they sure won’t judge you.” then they put you in jail. it feels like the “good cop” in the “good cop/bad cop” game. they pretend to be nice meanwhile they’re working with the system. at least that’s the suspicion i get.
That hasn’t been my experience but I understand the concern
I don’t think it’s just as simple as going to therapy but I’ve been in therapy for years and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I really got to work through stuff that I had been dealing with for years. I think it’s hard to figure it out on your own, but I don’t think a therapist is the only thing you need.
Just do AI therapy!
It will tell you you’re great, and you won’t have to risk any emotional vulnerability with a real person!
You’re also very much into spirals now.
If you have very thoughtful friends or family members that you talk to and can be honest with about… Everything, then that fits the bill.
Also if it’s just the “someone to listen to you” thing there are other free alternatives e.g online (with the extra anonymity, which is nice) or to a catholic/orthodox/high anglican priest, or to a volunteer counselling group (one big one exists in my city).
If you’re not willing or feeling the need to give it a try, I would recommend reading about psychological concepts. Or just watch someone such as Daniel Mackler and you might learn to heal yourself through osmosis.
If you genuinely want to change and find a therapist who can help you find the right resources to do it, it’s invaluable.
Wouldn’t be a problem if people weren’t more willing to go to therapy than achieve peace of mind.
It’s not a break from reality. It IS reality. It’s just that human nests - any conquered space of nature, be it urban or rural - has a habit of becoming a panopticon torture complex that we don’t very much enjoy being in
I have been and still am in therapy for a couple of years now. I would still like to be lost at sea to get such a break. (Provided I can easily survive that.)
You should mention these feelings to your therapist for some fresh content.
My therapist already knows. Not much we can currently do about it. There is also plenty to deal with so this is also conparably low on the priority list.
