Nah no sports. Haven’t even got the energy to clean my apartment. I go for walks every now and then but no sports.

I did have similar/same issues even when I was in the army, (not the American one, Finnish, conscription, served a year) and nah, being active all the time didn’t make me less tired. I manage to get myself in a position where I had my own office and could just sleep a few hours more than the other guys. And we ate 4-5 times a day and couldn’t skip meals most times, so I actually did end up gaining weight as I suffered more from constipation back then than diarrhea like now. But during basic training I’d have a lot of sick-days. To the point our captain asked me whether I was sure I could make it in the “pre-officer training” or however I’d translate the training enlisted ranks (sergeants of different sorts) course. We call it “under-officer school” more or less. But anyway I thought they’d figure out my issues and I’d have less sick-days. But I didn’t. But during basic I would fall asleep at any point. 5-min break for smokes? That’s a nap.

I did have loads of endurance as well to be honest. Man were the officers of my age (so the guys who were in basic with me but later became officers and thought themselves tough shit) shocked when they couldn’t keep up with 90+ kg me in a Cooper test (running distance for 12min.) To be fair I kinda shocked myself by running 3k.

But yeah after the army I discovered that anything spicy at least keeps me from getting constipated. But it doesn’t directly cause diarrhea for me, I’m like 98% certain. Gluten and milk protein seem to be the worst offenders currently and am considering that it’s NCGS (Non-coeliac gluten sensitivity) but if I’d read someone saying that a few years ago, I wouldn’t believe them. I think they’re just imagining it or at least exacerbating it. I’d think I’d sound like a middle-age crystal Karen. But nah, it’s also an actual thing recognised by actual doctors and the literature.

But because I had no damage to the intestines when they checked it, they are fairly certain I don’t have coeliacs. As I think am I (I would’ve been in far worse condition). But because of this somewhat milder form of some sort of gastric and metabolic issues, the public doctors can’t be arsed.

Well I’ve been tested for celiacs a bunch. Blood tests and even an upper GI endoscopy (prolly one of the worst medical procedures I’ve had and I’ve had a bunch, you’re forced to deepthroat an endoscope so that they can go from your mouth to your small intestine and grab a sample), my villi don’t show signs of coeliac damage.

But yeah, my poop does float whenever I have gluten in my diet, which is why I’m now without it. Also milk proteins seem to have an effect. But goddamn leaving gluten has been a somewhat challenge, not to mention how hard it is if I can’t have any nice yoghurt (Greek or Turkish mainly) or cheeses.

But yeah I told healthcare about my poop consistently being yellow/orange and floating and I even have photos from almost a year of me following it. Nah they just dismissed me said “it’s probably just air trapped in your poop”. Sure, yeah, except I’ve also considered that and the photos clearly show that’s not the case. They don’t care. Just do whatever is the easiest for them no matter how it affects me.

Actually it’d cut the p out of the end, even though there is room, the time on the right has a little black on the left. REM sleep fits but Deep Sleep would be Deep Slee maybe with a bit of the p showing. But yeah it could be designed so that it would’ve fit I think

I haven’t tried modafinil no. Should give it a whack if any comes available. I used to have a classmate who was on it but that was 10+ year’s ago and I didn’t really know him.

What actually worked best was the very plain diet but I just… it’s just so boring eating nothing but rice and gluten free fish sticks. But then I started to be able to just easily sleep 6 hours and get up. Felt like a real person. Because genuinely oftentimes if I try to get up but haven’t gotten enough rest, I’ll be worse off than when I’ve had a bottle of rum. Like my eyes won’t go straight and I can’t really get up properly.

Although I have to admit that some of these later long sleeps have been contributed to by the new meds I got for a broken rib, amitriptyline or the like. But it’s alaovi used for IBS and depression, and neither of those are going amiss for me basically.

But man it’s tiring. Idk how that would help anyone with depression. I mean yeah I care less about being tired and am not as annoyed about sleeping more than half the day but I don’t feel like it’s really helped my depression at all if it keeps me asleep for more than half the day.

But even without it I have issues. And I open curtains and have automatic lights to come on full at a decent wakeup time.

But yeah I could give modafinil a whack if i had some idk. But I think I’ll just have to to back to rice/fish/potatoes/chicken diet.

And “ight sleep”. Like aaaight, that waa good enough. Lol.

it’s deep and light ofc they scroll the text and I toon a bad photo

I started smoking weed about around 16 or 18. Not often. But pretty daily from my mid 20’s at least. Definitely helps with eating and nausea or gi-pain. (Sitting on the toilet for an hour or two is much easier when you also have a bong and a phone with you.)

I don’t have a lot of infections and am generally “within normal parameters” as like you say, the doctors can only think there’s a single problem at a time. And at least here I always get a new doctor for most visits and I get like 30 min meeting every blue moon.

The public doctors kinda suck for complex, chronic issues. And I can’t afford private ones to that extent.

I don’t think my malabsorption is quite as bad as yours, but then I also randomly get seizures, to which I’ve gotten zero explanations for. Tested for epilepsy and had and MRI and whatnot, but nothing. But since Finland is kinda backwards when it comes to cannabis, they blamed it on my “drug use”. (Even though I have high CBD strains and they’re literally anti-convulsants to a degree iirc.)

Yeah luckily I don’t have it quite that bad, (especially after I went on an exclusion diet and slowly added things to a really plain diet and sort of figured a bit what works what doesn’t) but, yes, I definitely agree with you. Not fun.

I’d rather be fat and jolly than slim and super cranky from constantly being in some weird state of mild starvation. But it’s so mild and I make sure to supplement vitamins and whatnot so none of my basic lab-work is showing anything too far out of the ordinary, so the busy public doctors can’t be bothered to look into it since to them everything seems fine. Even when I can show them almost a years worth of literally shit pics, me having taken photographs of my stinky and floating orange poo. (I sent them to a spam-email I have so I don’t have to keep them in my phone’s gallery.)

Sort of and also not. Not getting energy from food also means I have no energy for you know, existing.

So while I might not need to worry about getting fat, I’ve also nowhere to display not being fat.

I tend to sleep quite a lot.

Jokes on you I got some sort of undiagnosed malabsorption issues and won’t get fat even when I eat burgers and candy and alcohol day after day.

I’m just gonna believe this even without reading it, because ofc they did.

Isn’t a “nan doctor” a grandgynocologist?

Or a gerontologist.

I’m worried about how few people understand this.

King Leopold the 2nd of Belgium.

described at the time

Hmm… I wonder when these…

Leopold II was the second king of the Belgians from 1865 to 1909, and the founder and sole owner of the Congo Free State from 1885 to 1908.

Oh that’s not too long ago. “Sole owner of the Congo Free State” sounds like a contradiction tbh

Okay and what happens nowadays?

I mean I’m not disagreeing, I was there as a teenager back then as well, I 'member. But what happens to them now?

Too true.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/tanyaakim/2026/02/24/another-camel-beauty-contest-is-rocked-by-a-botox-cheating-scandal/

If we didn’t have swans and found their fossils and used the same techniques, they’d look like this.

shudder

https://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/tetrapod-zoology/dinosaurs-and-the-anti-shrink-wrapping-revolution/

I would love some al dente carbonara right now. Unfortunately I think I’m oversensitive to gluten and dairy proteins. I’ve been trying for a few years now and that’s the conclusion I somewhat have to draw. Which sucks balls.

I didn’t mean to offend or anything, thanks for the kind words but…

Yeah that’s kind of the bitch about depression. You lose faith.

And I had it a looooooooooooong time.

There’s nothing I can personally do anymore, but no-one in my society will recognise that and aid me. Thus this will just continue and worsen.

I’ve even started to disregard personal hygiene to a point. I still shower and wash my teeth, but showering used to be daily. Now I don’t even get up from bed every day.

But I can’t get Finland to recognise I’m not capable of work currently. Spent several years fighting it. And we have an actual legal professor on our family friends but they won’t answer me and no-one will ask for me. I’ve just been actively pushed to this situation by my society while at the same time it’s pretending I’m not even in a situation.

It’s like the entire country I’m living in is gaslighting me because they can’t accept realty from their delusions.

I’ve done a lot outside my comfort zone.

And in it.

I’ve tried pretty much everything and just had really fkin rotten luck.

Tried setting up my own business, only to be foiled by “some bug” in the system of a creditor I took a loan from when I went mad for a week or two in 2016 out of work stress and insomnia.

I just really don’t care about even trying anymore. There’s only so many times you can bang your head against a wall before you get a headache bad enough that you just have to take a break.

From what I understand, Finland has a pretty good social safety net.

Yeah, people like to think so. It’s good… on paper.

But for instance there’s a scheme called “social credit”, which some municipalities / cities use. It means that for relatively small loans, you can get a loan from the city to cover all your high interest payday loans, as not to get caught up in a debt cycle.

I had decent credit, I had paid more than 60e a month of my expensive loan (then one I took in during the mental breakdown and don’t even recall and someone might have just used me and stolen it no idea) and I was applying for a small loan from this social credit. I was basically exactly who it was aimed at. And the loan I needed would’ve cost me 40e/month. Yet I didn’t get it cause the bureaucrat social ladies didn’t like my attitude, essentially. Even after I quoted the law which they use and showed them my bank statements from a few years.

So nah.

No money for moving. If I just get a few k from somewhere then that’s income and can’t get social security nomore, so the extra becomes not extra.

There’s a reason they talk of Finland’s record-high unemployment numbers. We’re living in a fucked up bureaucracy and no-one here cares.

I’ve also switched my services to the next town over. Hasn’t helped.

A lot of this is discrimination just because I’ve been for legalising cannabis for the past 20 or so years and anytime anyone reads it it’s like “oh, heroine shooting junkie scum whom we shouldn’t help, no matter what”. Despite me not being any sort of junkie. But Finland views random cannabis use as shooting up or like smoking crack.

Honestly I’m kinda tired of people even suggesting that I can do something about this. If only I could communicate the amount I’ve done and variety of things I’ve tried. I just need to get the fuck out of here, really, I think.

Finland is not as great as people think it is. The nature is nice, systems good on paper, yet…