The last line makes it sound a lot more like social anxiety than introversion.

My parents moved away from both their extended families so I only met each side once at like family reunions.

So it’s me, twin, and mother out here in the area. I think mother keeps up with some of the 36 other cousins on her level of the family. I think twin vaguely knows what dad’s brother is up to (hiding in the woods)

We have an unholy amount of second cousins, twice removed cousins, but they’re all far away.

No. All are dyed in the wool trumpers these days and didn’t do jack shit for me in younger years in the midst of very hard times of family problems (eg, parental divorce).

I have my true family and loved ones, and would rather not complicate things. I’ve already spent hundreds of thousands of words mending one close relationship successfully; but that was one worth saving as taxing as it was.

As far as older people go you mention, the funny thing is I’ve always been more comfortable around people much older than me. Always felt distant from my peers, generally.

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No. I havent seen any of my cousins in over 10 years. I doubt I’ll see any of them until either my dad dies or one of their parents does.

Its a shame but we were never close. They have always lived a few hours away so its not like we have any real bond beyond family connection.

According to my dad I have a whole bucket load of second cousins, but I’ve not seen them in over 30 years

I have/had lots of aunts and uncles, but most of them were stuck up as hell. I really only talked to two of them (married couple). They were absolutely lovely and the rest of the family hated them.

Yes. I have several cousins and an uncle in Germany. I admit we didn’t talk that frequently but we do talk on birthdays and holidays and we sometimes visit each other. In fact one of my cousins is coming to visit me next month. I fear for him. I hope CBP doesn’t give him a problem en route. I also share music ideas with another cousin.

It depends.

As you get older these kinds of relationships become more important because… for most people they’re one of very few constants in life. As in, friends and even partners come and go but from the day I’m born to the day I die, my ancestors will be my ancestors, and I share that in common with extended family.

That doesn’t mean you have to talk to them or keep in touch with them or go to family gatherings. It just means that even after 3 decades of not speaking to a particular uncle or aunt, they still have that background and that title.

To some people that might not have much meaning and that’s fine, but to me it does mean something, although I’m not sure what exactly.

I used to until they all joined the maga cult. Last one i saw in person said the n word in an unprovoked rant about black people, then praised trump for allowing him to feel comfortable saying it again…

I won’t see most of them but at funerals. The last funeral was terrible because they are terrible people now. Cousin also wore a trump shirt to the funeral. Trashy.

I really like my first cousin. Just a great person. I like her family, my wife really gets along with her, I like her husband, my children and her children are second cousins and they all get along too. We visit them in-person once or twice a year.

I hadn’t seen her for 15 years and then we reconnected at our grandfather’s funeral about 10 years ago. It’s nice sharing roots with other people.

No. Up until a few years ago, I considered my extended familiy to be important. My parents and their siblings had had their fair share of drama and infighting, but ‘my’ generation (I am almost 50 years old), seemed to get along, even if me rarely met up. However, when my mother’s oldest living sister died, I went to her funeral, as I considered it natural to pay my respect and support my mother and living aunts. It was clear that my presence (and my other cousins who showed up) was not appreciated by her children. That day, I lost more than just one aunt.

Relationships are incredibly important for living a long and fulfilling life.

One of the most common regrets of those nearing the end of their life:

“I wish I had stayed in touch with the people who mattered.”

It also has a protective factor to your health too.

Now, does that mean that you have to force yourself to like those extended relatives? No, of course not. Just like any other people, you must make the assessment whether these people are on the whole a benefit or a deterrent to you.

But being a family member often grants you a quick on-ramp to foster those relationships.

We all often say it’s too hard, we’re too busy. And I’d argue that if you find value in it, then you’re going to do it with intention and make the time.

Yes. We get together with extended family every year. We enjoy each other’s company.

No. But also I don’t really make any effort. I see the drama my wife goes through with her close family and I don’t need any of that. They are just strangers who share a relative with me.

No ill feelings, I’m just no less awkward with them than other normies.

I have a weekly D&D game with my favorite aunt and uncle, as well as my Dad and my cousin’s husband.

The latter runs one weekend, and I run the next, completely separate games of course.

I’m 51, my dad is 79, and his sister and her husband are a few years younger than he is. No idea on my fellow DM, I suspect late 40s.

If you find a common thread to hang on to, you can have a great relationship.

In this case, my aunt and uncle knew I was a huge weird nerd whose dad introduced him to D&D at 7 years old, so they thought to invite me when their daughter’s husband made a game for them.

Seven years later, we are still at it and I run a game for my friends as well.

These relationships can be nurtured, as all can. You just have to find and maintain the why’s.

Even people who don’t give a crap about birdwatching may still love to see the birds their old friends spot.

But to further your point, I don’t make much of an effort for those relatives that I don’t have much in common with.

This year’s Christmas present is a box of homemade fudge, rice krispie treats, and spicy chex mix, all homemade.

That’s the effort I put in for those I don’t have in my weekly or monthly life but are extended family.