25+ yr Java/JS dev
Linux novice - running Ubuntu (no windows/mac)

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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: October 14th, 2024

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  • I was working part time as a tutor in a community college. I had applied to work for AT&T or maybe Ameritech as a tech. It would’ve been a very good job, but I had to start training full time around late April or May. I had some students that were really relying on me to help them prepare for finals. I asked if they could put me in the next class, but they said now or never, so I told them I had to turn them down.

    They gave no shits, of course, but it was a big deal to my students. And the school that was having trouble staffing math and electronics tutors. It changed the course of my life, but things turned out just fine, eventually.



  • Sure. No kink shame. I don’t like to spend time on prep or cleanup. I’m definitely not spending big on something my hand does well enough. But I can accept some people find it worth it.

    It’s not the fucking a thing I find weird. It’s the investment in time and money. But I also find it weird (but delicious) to spend 12 hours cooking a brisket because that’s a lot of fucking work for a couple of meals.

    Worst case scenario, me calling something weird is a pot and kettle situation.










  • Withholding, I think.

    The trick is to know if you are withholding for good reasons (because there are lots of times you should absolutely shut the fuck up) and bad reasons (when you need help) and… complicated reasons (you need help and have a legitimate fear the person may not be supportive).

    At the risk of reading too much into this…

    Any time I hear someone mention sharing their deepest feelings with someone, my experience is it’s because they want to tell someone they love them but the other person is not into them for some reason — usually being with someone else, or not attracted to your gender. Should that be the case this time, you are withholding for good reasons. Keep your mouth shut. I have never ever seen that go well. It will not go well.


  • I suppose I would say you don’t just strip down and go at it. Generally you start with affection, proceed to foreplay over clothes, then under them, then remove them. And at every point you have the ability to just stop there if you’re uncomfortable going further. That’s a sign that you just aren’t ready with that partner and that’s okay.

    Even after you’ve done it once or twice, you generally still follow the same process and you can still stop at the point you’re uncomfortable. Just because you did it once doesn’t mean you need to again or on any particular occasion.

    It’s not until you’re married a few years that you reach the point of, “I have an early day tomorrow. If we’re fucking tonight, best get to it.” And skip all the foreplay.