My 2 year old goldendoodle just yeeted herself off the porch for no reason and fucked up her leg. Of course the vet is booked until 11 AM tomorrow. This is the same dog that had to get bowel obstruction surgery twice in two months because she kept eating toys. She is not allowed to have toys anymore.
She’s such a goblin.
My late cat (the one in my pic) REALLY wanted my grocery-store sushi one time, but I didn’t give her any, so she decided to lick a big ol’ glob of the wasabi.
She didn’t like it.
Cat wanted to go outside. It was raining. After seeing the rain out the back door and turning around she led me to the front door expecting better weather.
Cats don’t have object permanence. After looking out the back door she had to check the other outdoors at the front to see if it was different.
One morning we woke up to a complete stranger pounding on the door yelling “YOUR DOGS ON THE ROOF!!!”
She had climbed out the attic window, and fell to the roof over the first floor. I don’t know how long she was pacing the roof trying to find a way back in.
My pug who passed recently would eat literally anything. This includes raw potatoes that he dug out of the ground himself, very hot peppers off the plant (he was delighted with this), a jar of dried soup beans, and a bag of slivered almonds. The first two I simply never thought he’d think to eat, the beans and almonds I thought were out of reach and weren’t. He was absolutely fine each time and very pleased with himself. When my ex would bring the grocery buckets in, he would be waiting and take a chomp out of anything he could reach, celery or lettuce or peppers. It really was cute despite the horrible poops he would have, and I miss him awful.
My mom’s dog LOVES spicy peppers.
Must like the endorphins.
Dumbest? geez, it’s hard to choose. She’s a coward (part chihuahua, I’m sure) that can’t beat the terrier genes in her mutt butt, so one night she goes out to the back yard and does her little barking at thin air, just to see if anything nearby gets scared off by it, and lo and behold there’s an opossum! So she is barking, yelping in her little whine-bleat, running away from it, but then turning back and bark/cry/yelping at it while running at it, but when she’s within 10 feet of it she gets even more yelpy and runs away from it, only to turn back again and repeat the whole shebang. I grabbed her by the fourth round, but I’m still just flummoxed at the thought process that must have been running in her tiny brain. It’s like courage the cowardly dog manifested himself for a hot minute: scared but bravely charging the terrible monster while screaming.
She also likes to chase birds, screaming her head off… and we’re not talking about birds on the ground. 300 feet in the air, and she still thinks she will catch them.
Sit at the base of the wall reaching out a paw for a fly on the ceiling 10 feet up.
Cat had a habit of licking plastic grocery bags. Didn’t care two bits for catnip, but would go gaga for plastic bags. Well, one day the goober got so into it that she got her head into a bag handle, noticed that something was off, and panicked. So you have this cat sprinting all over the house, running away from the bag that’s billowing and making scary noises just behind her… In the end she started running up the stairs, got the rest of the bag stuck under her paws, and just stood there in self-pity because she’s pinned herself down.
I’ve been told it’s because some plastic bags are produced with fish oil or tallow added. They can smell it.
My cat once slipped his head through a handle of a paper bag while sleeping on it. Then he jumped off the couch and absolute chaos ensued. He drag the bag behind him and it inflated like a parachute and making a lot of noise which totally freaked him out.
He eventually managed to rip off the handle (glad it was a paper bag) while dragging it under some furniture, but he was quite traumatized after that. Didn’t come out of his favorite hiding spot for half a day.
Same thing happened to our cat except when it happened to our cat, she freaked out and rang around the house.
She ran through the railing which caused the paper bag to rip. The bag then ripped in the worst way, with 90% of the bag ripping off but the paper handle was still around her neck. She got really scared and ran under our bed. She hid there for hours. Eventually she came out. I was able to grab on to the handle and she tried to run which caused the handle to rip off finally, freeing her.
No injuries or anything and she was behaving normally an hour after the handle ripped off.
That’s really funny but also sad because he was so scared
It really was both. It took me quite a few seconds to even realize what going on, suddenly there was just noise and panic in the room. By the time I was trying to help he was already under the couch and almost free.
But in hindsight it was really funny. I learned not to leave folded up bags lying on the couch though.
I had a cat which almost the same thing happened to, except with a plastic bag. For most of the rest of her life when she heard plastic crinkling she would run and hide.
One of our cats had the same thing happen. Both times with paper bags. He made a huge mess of our room the first time it happened. It’s years later and if he’s doing something he shouldn’t be, I crinkle a plastic bag softly and he runs away.
My cat routinely jumps from a table onto my hot tub lid.
One day he did it while the tub was open and we were in it. Realized his mistake way too late and tried to stop on the edge, but went face first into the water
Ginger tom. That in and of itself is “enough said” but my personal fave was the time i saw him pick a fight with a stationary chair and lose.
My dog gets so lost in sniffing things that he walks into objects constantly. He’s walked directly into stop signs, a gas meter, people, and even walls.
Had a cat catch themselves on fire from getting too close to a candle, then proceed to sit there while on fire and do nothing. I bolted across the room, and only then did they get scared and jumped so fast that it put out the fire.
Luckily, it was just some singed tail hair and nothing serious.
We watched our cat, on multiple occasions, take a piece of dry food out of his dish and play with it on the floor - batting it around and chasing it - for 10+ minutes, then eat it, then spend the next 10+ minutes looking for it. He was not the brightest.
My dog will refuse to eat. She wants treats or whatever we’re having instead. She’s stubborn and will hold out for many hours, with a full bowl of food sitting there.
Then her stomach will hurt. She will complain and want to eat grass if we let her outside. She will refuse treats. We basically need to break treats in half and touch her lips with them/put them in her mouth (she will spit them out - we don’t force-feed her). After a try or two the taste and smell get her mouth watering and she slowly will eat the treat (usually a greenie), realize it’s making her feel better, and happily chow down her food. Totally normal and fine after that. Happy and playful, normal stool, energetic (especially for her age).
We’ve talked to the vet several times about this behavior. Blood tests and X-rays all normal. We give her long walks (at least an hour, twice a day, often with neighborhood dog friends). She’s allowed on furniture and loves to snuggle, insists on pets (and gets them!)
This girl is so stubborn she can’t figure out how to solve hungry. You fool! Just eat.
I suspect someone is still sneaking food to her.
Wow, OP, your dog is dumb.
My childhood dog did something kinda similar. My family was going out to a new spot we hadn’t been to, but it was a long drive on a windy road and I get really carsick. So we pulled over at this nice little view spot. We all got out and so did the dog. And for no reason, she ran full force at this waist height stone wall, jumped over it, and yeeted herself off this fucking thing
Mind you, we had no idea what was on the other side, and sturdy walls like that are usually built to keep people safe. So we freaked out, thinking she’s going to be dead at the bottom of a cliff and ran over there. Thankfully it was just a very steep hill, so she wasn’t dead and I don’t think she was even very hurt. But good lord, dog, why do that??
My dog is indeed so fucking stupid. And, like, she’s not even bored. She plays or naps all day and has plenty of outside time and digestible things to chomp on. She’s the most chaotic neutral creature I’ve ever seen. She does whatever and doesn’t care about consequences. The intrusive thoughts always win. I’m gonna get her a collar that has “Goblin Girl” on it because that’s exactly what she is.
