Not wanting to be a stay-at-home dad feels like such a boomer mentality. Like, seriously, what father is so disengaged from their kids that they wouldn’t want to spend more time with them, given the option? Being a stay-at-home parent is a lot of work, no one’s contesting that, but there’s no contesting that it’s more satisfying work than working for some megacorp’s bottom line.
I’m sitting here cuddling with my infant son and I never want to go back to work. I’ll have to (so will my wife), and I hate that for both of us. But I definitely don’t want to.
Counterpoint: I took some months off work when my first one was born. And I hated it. I felt that all my value was as “baby-sustaining-machine”, the highest mental skill requested any given day was loading a laundry load and it was very socially isolating (not many people available during working hours for socializing). At the same time, it was stressful being constantly the only one in charge. I was relieved to drop them at daycare and get back to work.
Now that they are of early school age, I enjoy spending time with them, but I also find it taxing. I know I wouldn’t be a good parent if I were to do it 24/7. But I am glad to spend every non-school moments together.
To be fair, some people aren’t great at being a homemaker–it’s a particular passion and skill set and it’s not for everyone. But blindly drawing that distinction on gender lines is definitely a boomer thing.
Had an older guy at work who had four kids, and when it came up in conversation, he proudly noted that he had never changed a diaper. Told him that I’d be mortified to admit I was such a useless dad.
There are some aspects that aren’t skill-based though. Anyone can do it, but some people thrive in that environment, while others have a more difficult time, just like any other job.
Man COVID was the chance for me to do that and it was amazing. Being stuck with my wife and kid 24/7 was a blessing. A monkeys paw blessing for sure but I still enjoyed it.
I have a hard time with this. I’m a teacher, love my job, and genuinely think its important. But I hate that I have to spend so much time away from my kids and even when Im home I end up spending hours planning, grading, etc.
Yeah, I turn down invitations to go out after my nighttime board meetings if it means I get home in time to put my kids to bed. I take them to school in the morning and pick them up just about every day. Sometimes they get on every single one of my nerves, but I love being home with them, playing with them, making dinners that they complain about and it makes my blood boil. It’s all part of the package. The whole idea of the silent workaholic dad is just crazy to me. I want to be the one who takes them to the park.
Not wanting to be a stay-at-home dad feels like such a boomer mentality. Like, seriously, what father is so disengaged from their kids that they wouldn’t want to spend more time with them, given the option? Being a stay-at-home parent is a lot of work, no one’s contesting that, but there’s no contesting that it’s more satisfying work than working for some megacorp’s bottom line.
I mean I hate kids but I like money. $12M is honestly about $11.7M past that inflection point though.
I’m sitting here cuddling with my infant son and I never want to go back to work. I’ll have to (so will my wife), and I hate that for both of us. But I definitely don’t want to.
Counterpoint: I took some months off work when my first one was born. And I hated it. I felt that all my value was as “baby-sustaining-machine”, the highest mental skill requested any given day was loading a laundry load and it was very socially isolating (not many people available during working hours for socializing). At the same time, it was stressful being constantly the only one in charge. I was relieved to drop them at daycare and get back to work.
Now that they are of early school age, I enjoy spending time with them, but I also find it taxing. I know I wouldn’t be a good parent if I were to do it 24/7. But I am glad to spend every non-school moments together.
To be fair, some people aren’t great at being a homemaker–it’s a particular passion and skill set and it’s not for everyone. But blindly drawing that distinction on gender lines is definitely a boomer thing.
Had an older guy at work who had four kids, and when it came up in conversation, he proudly noted that he had never changed a diaper. Told him that I’d be mortified to admit I was such a useless dad.
I wasn’t great at it, until I learned how to do it. It’s not hard. YouTube helps.
There are some aspects that aren’t skill-based though. Anyone can do it, but some people thrive in that environment, while others have a more difficult time, just like any other job.
Boomers, you said it yourself. Being a stay at home dad was unheard of and seen as emasculating. So silly.
Yeah, it has the same energy as the endless jokes about men hating their wives.
Man COVID was the chance for me to do that and it was amazing. Being stuck with my wife and kid 24/7 was a blessing. A monkeys paw blessing for sure but I still enjoyed it.
Tbh, I don’t want to be any kind of dad.
That’s a core experience of being a dad. Kids are a pain in the fucking arse sometimes.
Daddy! At long last, I’ve finally found you!!
I have a hard time with this. I’m a teacher, love my job, and genuinely think its important. But I hate that I have to spend so much time away from my kids and even when Im home I end up spending hours planning, grading, etc.
Just kinda sucks.
Yeah, I turn down invitations to go out after my nighttime board meetings if it means I get home in time to put my kids to bed. I take them to school in the morning and pick them up just about every day. Sometimes they get on every single one of my nerves, but I love being home with them, playing with them, making dinners that they complain about and it makes my blood boil. It’s all part of the package. The whole idea of the silent workaholic dad is just crazy to me. I want to be the one who takes them to the park.
I literally dream of this.