When I’m working and have a question, I usually ask the ones I know to be knowledgeable and with ample job experience for advice, because they’re the most qualified to give me the best advice.
Sometimes, when I do this, an extrovert who needs to talk will try to answer at the same time the person I asked is answering, meaning I get 2 very similar answers on stereo if that makes sense, but I cannot concentrate on any of the 2 stereo answers.
Sometimes this happens with 3 coworkers: the knowledgeable one I asked the question to and 2 extroverts answering at the same time the person I asked answers.
I hate it when this happens. I’m clearly talking to ONE person, looking at him in the eye. Why do other people feel I’m talking to them, even though I am not making eye contact with them?
I mean, can you guys listen to 2 people answering a question simultaneously and get both answers right?
I’ve started telling them I cannot hear the answer if they speak at the same time and sometimes I have to tell them I’m not talking to them, but to a specific coworker. So far, they’re backing off, but why are (some?) extroverts like this?
To me, the best way to learn something if I’m not reading a book or manual is with one on one conversations: I ask a question, knowledgeable person gives an answer, I write down what I know I’m gonna have to remember and move on. Is this something only introverts do?
I don’t think horning in on those conversations is an extrovert trait, even if the specific people in your situation are extroverts. An introvert could feel qualified in the subject, which puts it in their comfort zone, so they seize the opportunity to interact.
Just wait for them to finish talking and then ask the question again to it’s recipient.
Ignore the loudmouth
Say your expert’s name is Kayla. Start by just saying “Kayla”. Pause about half a second until she makes full eye contact, until she acknowledges you. Then ask your question. By doing this, it focuses the conversation on you and Kayla. If Paul interupts you can politely say “hold on Paul, I want to hear what Kayla has to say”. It’s not impolite because you “set up the rules” for the question when you started.
This isn’t an extrovert behaviour, it’s a rude behaviour. They aren’t linked.
I mean, depends on the situation. Personally, I wouldn’t call it rude when someone kind of free-fire responds to a question they hear. In that case, best course of action is to just chuckle at them responding synchronously and ask for only one of them to speak at a time.
Right, but if they keep talking while the other person is trying to talk, that’s rude.
Oh yeah, that for sure.
It’s called adhd and I have impulse control issues.
The impulse to start talking or interrupting people you can pin to ADHD no problem - but tunnel firing for a whole dialogue discussing a problem?
No, extroverts and ambiverts have trouble with interrupters too.
In a work environment, I find it best just to say I’m having trouble keeping up, and could first person please continue. Most of the time, it’s gonna work fine
Excellent approach, putting that in my book of tools.
I’d also be sure to ask the second person to finish what they were trying to say after person 1 was done.
There are 2 reasons:
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Never know if they have a different perspective or other ideas. They may also have thought of something while listening.
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In the help desk world you learn these kinds of people get worse when they get shut down. If you actively engage them (even if you don’t really want to), they’ll feel heard, and maybe be less likely to feel compelled to interrupt. Plus you come across as a Good Guy® at work.
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Sounds like you have rude colleagues.
I usually hold up one finger and say, “Bup bup bup! I didn’t ask you. Did I?”
Followed by putting duct tape over their mouths!
…and some clothespins on their nipples…
What? I’m kinky.
Helpful to say the person’s name before you ask. “Sarah, what’s the resistivity of tungsten?” Then the others will tune out before they even hear the question.
Schedule a meeting in a conference room with the one you want to talk to. Just you and the other person.
I’ve heard before that it can be more difficult for folks on the autism spectrum, because we perceive more of the details in each voice, so it’s more likely to overwhelm us.
But it certainly doesn’t have to be. Neuroboring folks also don’t find it helpful when two speak at the same time.
Neuroboring…nice.
Opposite of neurospicy. 🙃
rude people who talk over others just need to be ignored. if they continue, put them in their place with a look, a raised eyebrow, roll the eyes and then go back to the person you were actually addressing. it’s childish and should be pointed out if it continues.
