Next to the train station I commuted to in my first job, there was an area for trucks carrying livestock to empty their waste. One particular truck was not carrying actual living livestock but dead calves (the unwanted male ones) when it pulled up near me as I was waiting for the train. Unfortunately the driver pulled the wrong lever and dumped the contents of the truck on the ground. I got sprayed with the worst thing you can possibly imagine. The smell alone…

And people wonder why I’m a vegetarian (it wasn’t the inciting incident but it helped my conviction)

Doing electrical work in a chicken rendering plant. I was sprayed with the liquefied remains of chickens that were at least a week old coming out of a tanker truck into a pit that was outside with a sea of flys covering it like a tarp. To make it worse, I looked over at a guy 10ft away eating a bowl of fruit loops like it was a normal day, that experience changed my life because I never want that to me my normal.

2 comments in and I’m just gonna stop reading now

I used to work at a fish packing factory and had to get something out of a skip bin and i fell getting in. I was drenched in rotting fish guts and green slime that had been sitting for a couple of days out in the heat of the Aussie QLD summer (around 40C)

Had a manure tank truck pop a seal in front of me spraying pressurized pig shit all over my car.

I had my windows down 😐

I worked at an abbatoire for a while. Dodged the worst stuff no problem … except for one time with green puss from an abscess in a cow. It must have been under a lot of pressure.

I cut the abscess out and showed it to a woman I didn’t like in quality control. She threw up. It was my fault, so I had to clean that up, and I didn’t get to go home early to clean myself.

It was not a great job.

Technically it was my car that got sprayed, but I specifically drove around a skunk to not hit the thing, and it showed it’s appreciation by spraying my car.

growing up in the country you learn one thing.

don’t flush things that aren’t meant for the toilet.

had to snake and pump the septic tank dozens of times because somebody kept flushing tissues and they would clog up the tank and take forever to break down.

I’ve literally ate my fair share of shit in my youth.

never again.

the only thing that comes close to being worse than rotting shit, is rotting garbage at the dump. that smell sticks to you and will be in your head for days. I still remember the putrid smell from all the shitty piss filled diapers.

then again a close second is a sun bloated corpse.

Worked at a restaurant hood cleaning company once. Sometimes the techs had to bring back buckets of grease they removed from a place because there’s a lot of rules around where you can dispose of it.

Walked into the shop at the wrong time and got hit in the chest with a spray of rancid, black grease. Had to throw those clothes away because I couldn’t get it out.

Anal gland squeezings from my cat. I didn’t want to spend another $300 at the vet and did it myself. The horrors.

Norovirus vomit.

Squeezed pus out of a cyst for my brother. It shot out and got me in the eye. Thank dog I wear glasses.

Not directly sprayed, but someone shot of pepper spray in the restaurant I worked at years ago as a prank. Couldn’t breath right the rest of the night.

I used to harvest shellfish for a job, and we used pressurized water to help dig down. There’s a whole lot of dead beach and low tide thst I blasted myself with, but there’d be some big ol honking horseclams 3 feet under the sand that closed off and died down there a long time before my hose found the cavity of its putrefied liquified remains.

Having that propelled in a blast along with sand and seaweed was s fun time.

I have 2 kids so, vomit, poop, blood, mucus, and even breast milk.

I’ve been skunked before.

Which smelled bad (understatement), but didnt feel gross. Meanwhile, the solution being to wash yourself with tomato sauce felt hella icky.