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Yuuup. Woman in engineering here. I once had a supervisor whose behaviour I thought of as normal, but two guys I worked with separately reported him to HR for bullying after seeing how he treated me.
It’s funny, I had many years with almost no career progression, now my boss is a woman and I’m having to get used to the idea that bonuses and promotions are things that actually happen when I work hard.
Stem is still heavily dominated by Men, biology might be different as more woman are in bio than men are, and becoming more common in other stems. engineer and programming sitll gear towards men.
When I was a freshman before transition, I had a guy save my number and call me like 2 years after we had an intro engineering class (we spoke maybe once?) to ask me out on a date.
I had that with a contractor who had had my number for work purposes. He kept trying for 5 years.
I’m a butch lesbian, my mistake was being polite and chatty with him.
Is that … a bad thing? I am missing something, did he take the number from somewhere or you gave it to him? But otherwise calling someone and asking out is a pretty harmless thing to do.
Not when it was a number used once to arrange a group project meeting and that we had not connected otherwise? Two years later - I had dropped out?
One thing I noticed as in my progress through as STEM major was the decline in number of female classmates. Calc 3 might have a reasonable number, but the drop off was exponential. The college run that got me through was done as a man, so I didn’t experience the stuff but I heard rumors. Worse than rumors from post docs in the lab I worked in.
Yep, if the number was not given specifically to connect that is what makes it inappropriate for me. But overall, an invite to a date besides being old fashioned is not necessarily creepy, even after long time. Of course, I don’t know if there were additional clues that made the whole thing creepy (tone of voice, phrasing etc.).
I studied computer engineering in Italy, and I can relate with the number of women being very low. I think there were maybe <10 women in the whole class on a ~60 people total after the first semester (starting with 250 people). Most of them were top of the class, which to me always suggested that while many men signed up and then “see how it goes”, only women who knew exactly what they wanted signed up.
here’s a related video from Angela Collier, if you want to read more about how women are treated in STEM
The experiences trans men and women have with misogyny will never not be fascinating to me. Like, for the first time ever we have this huge sample size of people who have experienced how their gender presentation affects how people interact with them, giving tangible proof of misogyny in action. And it can’t just be swept aside with ‘MaYbE tHe wOmEn JuSt miSuNDerStOoD’ or ‘mAYbe tHe mAN diDN’t MeAn iT LiKE tHaT’. I mean idiots will still make idiot arguments but at least it chips away at them a little bit.
I told one of my friends that I’m being looked at differently in crowds now, and he just said “no you’re imagining it”.
Many people just do not believe what trans people tell them. At all.
Hello it’s me a trans woman. I knew before transition about some of it but never really understood. When I was masc I didn’t realize how much of it was basically hidden in plain sight because of how I learned to socialize. After transitioning though omg it’s everywhere. I’m in Seattle right now where I don’t have to try too hard to pass and still get treated at least base line okay. Even then I still use my masc voice more than my femme voice because people take me more seriously when I do. Like there’s a cultural acceptance of trans people here but if I behave more masc I get the privilege of being “one of the boys” even if I’m visually in full femme mode. It’s all so weird
Religon is probably what initially does this to people’s brains
Indoctrinating children into religious systems of arbitrary hierarchy gives little boys god complexes and makes little girls into property.
Depends on where you are from, but the sort of thinking that gets people into religion gets people into misogyny even without religion in my experience.
Oh my goodness yes! Not to mention the whole if you don’t dress “modestly” it’s your fault if you get unwanted attention thing. It’s a grooming ground.
Is that bias confirmation or is it confirmation bias? I get them mixed up.
wow, that’s really out there for being bee movie erotica
Idk I’m pretty hard rn
Could be anaphylactic shock
That is horrible that anyone has to go through that.
I feel for OP. I really do. I want everyone to be treated as equals, honestly.
However, does OP even realize that their anecdotal experience doesn’t even remotely satisfy the (heavy) burden of proof for their biased hypothesis?
In a blind study, everyone in a room going silent when a trans person talks is not necessarily experimentally a 1:1 to everyone in the room going silent when a biological male talks. MANY people that have transitioned (whether they want to admit it or not) have a noticeable difference in their vocal timbre than their biological counterparts. Maybe people went silent because they were fascinated by or fixated on the unusual timbre of the OP’s transitioned vocal cords. We will never know… and some of us realize that correlation does not equal causation.
For example, you wouldn’t conduct a scientific study where you’re attempting to show the differences between how males and females are treated and choose to have one of your control subjects be a trans male. It’s just different despite how inconvenient and hotly debated that truth is.
Additionally, OP was in the same department for years and then transitioned. So, naturally people would approach a more experienced person for help or advice regardless of perceived sex if they knew that person was there longer than them.
Obviously there are differences between how men and women are treated…but OP seems to be using the worst possible anecdotes to provide proof for their hypothesis without correcting for these sometimes subtle inconsistencies. Maybe OP thinks they pass as a male a lot more convincingly than they actually do.
The opposite happened to me when I transitioned. When I was perceived as a guy, if I was in a meeting, people didn’t instantly fall silent if I spoke, but if they tried to overtalk me and I just kept speaking, they would eventually give way. I transitioned 8 years ago, and from the earliest days of my transition until now, if someone starts overtalking me, they will just keep doing it even if I don’t stop talking. The only way to stop them is to vocally call them out and ask them to be quiet until I’m finished.
Similarly, I used to be seen as one of the two “tech guys”. The person that people would come up to and ask for tech advice to avoid calling the internal helpdesk. After I transitioned, they started coming up to me and asking me where the other tech guy is.
My career has stalled since I came out. I’m in a trans inclusive country, in a trans inclusive workplace, and I transitioned so long ago, that most people don’t know that I’m trans or simply forget. But since coming out, the various shoulder taps in to project opportunities and the like just don’t happen anymore.
Maybe people went silent because they were fascinated by or fixated on the unusual timbre of the OP’s transitioned vocal cords.
It’s a nice theory, but it’s somewhat strange how my own experience as a trans person transitioning from male to female had the opposite impact. Did people start overtalking me because they were fascinated by my timbre?
Additionally, OP was in the same department for years and then transitioned. So, naturally people would approach a more experienced person for help or advice regardless of perceived sex if they knew that person was there longer than them.
Again, it’s a nice theory, but in my case, they stopped approaching me. And even the ones who don’t know that I’m trans don’t approach me that way, because I’m not seen as one of the “tech folk” anymore, despite not losing my experience when I transitioned.
but OP seems to be using the worst possible anecdotes
Similarly, you are using the least likely possibilities that contradict the first hand experience of folk directly in these scenarios to fit your pre-conceived notion of what is happening.
Yeah, the OPs post and mine are anecdotal, so you shouldn’t take either of our experiences as universal truths. But your takes aren’t even anecdotal. They’re suppositions.
That’s true.
Thanks for not immediately dogpiling me and instead actually making some great points. I appreciate the perspective.
Thanks for sharing. All these experiences are very illuminating regarding the lesser impact of socialization, too. Like, I might have thought my female colleagues had just been told to cede the floor so many times they didn’t often speak at meetings. And that could still be adding to it, but here are the same individuals with the same habits getting starkly different treatment.
Even knowing these trends from countless other stories and statistics, hearing each additional experience helps keep it in mind and see more often when it’s happening.
Everything they are describing is well supported by solid evidence that you can look up. Further, in conversations of what would drive women out of stem, the welcome harshness and sexism pushing people away is the core of issue.
Ultimately this dismissive attitude towards a well known and understood phenomenon speaks to the arrogance of those that disagree with the well established reality.
You are going out of your way to poke holes in someone describing a very rare and valid view that demonstrates the discrepancy gender presentation gives in lived experience, and how it follows well tested sexist trends by holding their tumblr post to the standard of a scientific paper. You are so desperate to preserve your warped world view that the severity of sexism in STEM isn’t as big of a deal as it is made out that you have taken a genuinely ridiculous position.
Do better.
You are going out of your way to poke holes in someone describing a very rare and valid view that demonstrates the discrepancy gender presentation gives in lived experience, and how it follows well tested sexist trends by holding their tumblr post to the standard of a scientific paper.
I used a scientific approach in the science memes community. You don’t seem to care about actual science. You’re going out of your way to believe pseudo science in the name of being kind to someone.
Do better.
Have you ever utilized a case study in your work? The value of research is in having a variety of things to pull from. All you’re doing is writing up the considerations page and slapping on the cover.
Whats your agenda in doing so?
My only “agenda” is intellectual honesty and scientific reproducibility.
Drawing from the experiences on trans test subjects to prove a hypothesis about sexism between CIS males and females is the very definition of a biased study.
I’m happy to discuss OP’s hypothesis for a study on sexism against trans people in a study using trans test subjects… but that’s not what this is, is it?
Do better.
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