I’m having some personal issues causing some severe depression and anxiety. I’d like to get past this time as fast as possible, and my days are dragging on. I can’t sleep, which would be a good way to make time go fast. But I also can’t just play video games, I don’t have the motivation to play more than a few minutes and it also just makes me realize how alone I am with no friends or anyone I can connect with emotionally and I spiral into my anxiety and depression.
I can do stuff during the day, run, chores, etc. But as soon as I’m done, especially at night, I start freaking out and it seems like time stands still. Does anyone have any suggestions? Activities I can do that are mindless that will just kill time and get me through the night before I can just go to sleep?
I know this question is stupid but I’m looking for at least somewhat serious answers.
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Seems like a great time to invest in some therapy
I actually have started therapy. But it’s only once a week. So that doesn’t really help the time aspect. That’s more of a long game
This is a very serious question: what makes you think time passing without your awareness of it, will make things better for you?
Yes, therapy is a great way to pass the time.
Go outside. Not in a “go touch grass” way. Explore new places and fill your days with variety and sunlight if you can. If you can’t make the time pass quickly you can at least make it more interesting. And sitting depressed in a park is a lot nicer than sitting depressed at home.
If you’re already running, vary your route a bit, or spend some time in the middle of your run sitting outside for a bit.
I don’t expect it to fix anything, I’ve heard enough of the “just try this and you’ll feel better” bullshit. But I hope it would at least help mix up your days a little.
Unfortunately, this would be gender and/or location dependent. Great advice for daylight hours, but the society we currently live in makes it perhaps less viable for women in certain areas or countries, or even in general if it’s a particularly socially deprived area.
Absolutely on board with the exercise thing though. I’ve taken to trying to waste time on an exercise bike - even an inexpensive one, or a normal bike mounted on a turbo trainer. I’m not expecting anyone to bang in speeds and times like Lance Armstrong on some special supplements, but a slow spin for longer periods of time is great fun… just get a good wide comfortable saddle!
This is what I meant by
I can do stuff during the day, run, chores, etc. But as soon as I’m done, especially at night, I start freaking out and it seems like time stands still.
I run, and do activities to make the day go by. But that’s not sustainable. I’d love to be able to do like a 7 day adventure race, or try to run a ultra marathon or something crazy like that. But I’m not physically capable of that at the moment (I’m in really good shape, but not at THAT level. I run like 5-10 miles a day at most) and I’d just end up hurting myself trying.
Good effort, that’s a decent shape to be in. 10k runs are my “thing” but as my march into middle age progresses, I find I can’t do them back-to-back any more, I’m needing more than a day or two to recover.
Maybe go for something a little more varied - I’m training for (but never done) local triathlons. Great way to build physical fitness with only a third of the high impact on the joints. The major limiting factor will be the pool of course, unless you’re fortunate to own (or have unrestricted access to) a pool.
Random turn of conversation direction, are you creative at all? Crocheting seems to make the world go by at an alarming rate - it’s both a time killer and very rewarding.
I’m not the most creative person, but I do enjoy the technical aspect of creative things. I’ve tried to crochet and knit in the past. It’s definitely a good idea. Maybe I’ll order some crochet supplies and give it another shot.
You’re completely right. Though depending on your area it may be possible to sit in a cafe (even a Starbucks or equivalent) occasionally to pass the time. Often without needing to purchase anything (or, if you have to, purchasing a simple black coffee for cheap).
But yes, unfortunately that isnt always possible. I hope you can find something to make your days more varied OP. something to break the routine of sitting at home waiting for time to pass.
Coffee shops are fantastic. My other half doesn’t get why I go out to buy a coffee that I could easily make in the house for next to fuck all, but it was never about the coffee - it was about being out of the house and watching the world go by. There’s a coffee shop in a hotel that overlooks the thoroughfare between one of my local city’s biggest shopping centres and it’s rail station, and it’s nice just wasting an hour or two watching people go about their lives.
The cost of the coffee is just a warmth and comfort tax really for sitting there.
Podcasts maybe? That’s my most braindead activity. It’s an easy thing to do in bed while trying to sleep too.
Time also goes by faster at night if youre tired so getting some exercise during the day might help.
Good luck, hope things pick up for you soon.
Time also goes by faster at night if youre tired so getting some exercise during the day might help.
I do a ton of exercise during the day. You’d think I’d be tired at night and able to sleep, but nope. Doesn’t matter how many miles I run or walk or hike.
Getting books from the library to read?
Not OP but I personally don’t have enough patience to read entire book. I just can’t. I don’t know how other people read whole book in few days.
Audiobooks. Libby app for local library and countless audiobooks already covered by your library card.
I’ve listened to/read so many books. Short ones that are 4 hours or so to entire series where each book is about 20 hours or so.
Long drive? Audiobook. Yard work? Audiobook.
I find myself looking forward to the mundane chores because it gives me an excuse to get back into whatever story/book I’m enjoying.
I’m the same. I read super slow, and I just don’t enjoy it really. Audiobooks are hard for me too. I like podcasts sometimes, and I read a lot of articles and stuff like that. But books are just too much for me.
Have you ever tried listening to hardcore history by Dan Carlin? I find he’s the right level of captivating to keep me interested, but slow enough that I can still drift off to sleep
If I am super interested in a book that I got as a gift, I will tear through it in a few days. That being said, I’ve probably read like 4 adult books since being out of school. Plenty of kids books over the years, (I had mastered Fox in Socks at one point.)
It takes a lot for me to take that much time on a book.
Start with Short Stories or novellas. A whole story from beginning to end in as short as 3 pages or as many as 30 or so. There are entire books of short stories (anthologies) in every genre you can imagine. You say you don’t have the patience. However, in the time its taken you to read this entire thread, you could have finished a short story. You’ve proven you have the patience.
Just fill your time by being the guy who replies “unfortunately this niche group of people I don’t belong to can’t use your advice” on every ask post reply. Some people really get a thrill out of it.
Like for instance if someone asks how they can stay hydrated and somebody replies water you could say “unfortunately some people don’t have access to clean water”, and then just let the upvotes roll in because it’s technically true. It’s going to make you feel worse in the short term because you’ll know what you’re doing, but you won’t recognize that right away or maybe ever so it’s probably a viable strategy for a month.
Unfortunately some people don’t have time to post that kind of bullshit on lemmy
Unfortunately some people don’t experience time as a near concept
Unfortunately time does not care about people
unfortunately some people dont have a consistent internet connection
upvotes pls
Why the oddly specific time period? Is something happening in a month, or are you doing something so that you won’t feel like this in a month?
I’m in a different physical location than normal for the next month, so my routine is totally thrown off. I’m not saying I won’t feel like this in a month. I’m sure I’ll still be having issues. But that’s a different situation I’ll deal with when I get there, and I’d like to get there as soon as possible to just get this over with.
Start a project doing something that allows you to enter a flow state. Could be programming, woodworking, knitting, anything you can reasonably do with your interests and budget. If you can find something that holds your attention it will delete time.
It’s hard to get the motivation to do a project. I’m really looking for something totally mindless. Like, exercise is a good one, but I do a lot of that during the day and it starts to get unhealthy and unproductive. I end up at night doing a lot of pacing, or stuff like that. I was hoping for something the equivalent of pacing but that isn’t physical. I don’t know. I think I’m just grasping at straws that there’s some solution to this that I haven’t thought of.
Jigsaw puzzles, the bigger the better. It keeps you constantly mentally engaged and the act of reaching for pieces and looking around is good physical activity too. I get back ache if I do a jigsaw session for the first time in a while. It really tires me out before bed and can prevent that rumination before falling asleep. Finally it’s really cheap, there are limitless puzzles in charity shops and even some libraries lend them.
Yeah motivation can be tricky and I actually missed the bit where you’re specifically looking for something to do at night before getting to sleep instead of pacing around.
Uhh… Rubix cube? Puzzle? If you don’t want to walk around something where you use your hands and that takes some mental focus might help. Hopefully you find something!
I think it’s generally agreed that repeated experiences are a good way of making time pass faster: your brain recognises a situation and says “I’m not needed here; I’ll fast-forward to something more challenging”. Binge TV you’ve already seen. When I was in your situation I listened to a lot of radio plays, audio books and podcast series.
Do keep running and exercising. Can you ride a bike? Building up some familiar routes might help pass the time in a healthy way.
I am sorry to hear that you’re feeling low. It’s the new epidemic. Hang in there and I do hope life gets more enjoyable in time.
I’m severely depressed and unmotivated as well. I watch a lot of TV. When I get sick of that, I make 3D wooden puzzles, like these dinosaurs. They take about 30-60 minutes each, and when you’re done, you’ve got a dinosaur! Rawr!
Walks. Walking past trees and other natural objects helps the mind process thoughts and emotions, from what I heard. Maybe even not just natural objects.
It engages everything, I suppose. The body and the mind.
Supposedly helps you get over stuff.
I can’t vouch for it myself, but worth giving it a go if it does work. Couldn’t hurt. Good luck, friend!
I’ve gone through bouts of depression and I know motivation is hard to come by but I think it’s difficult to be depressed when you’re in the middle of exercising. I know the ask was to make time go by faster and as someone else said certain activities can make your brain take a break. I feel like walking, running, or biking outside is a fairly good way for your muscles to do the thinking but less hamster wheel than going to a gym or exercising at home.
Also walks will make your body a bit tired which will make it easier to fall asleep and sleep better.
True. 👌
If you can’t sleep and are trying to kill time anyway, why not look into something like mindfulness meditation? It might help you keep some of those anxious thoughts in check to the point where you can actually focus on something to take your mind off of whatever is causing your issues.
I’m sure it’s not for everyone, but it helped me a lot when I was at my worst.
Also, you indicate that your anxiety and depression are due to some personal issues (which it sounds like will no longer be an issue in a month). If I’m understanding that correctly, that sucks for the time being but I’m glad to hear it has an expiration date. If those are feelings you deal with chronically, however, and you have the means to do so, I highly suggest trying to find professional help. The right meds can make an absolute world of difference, and talk therapy can help you straighten out how you approach those feelings.
Whatever route you take, I hope this passes for you soon and you start to feel so much better. Those feelings suck, but life can absolutely get better.
If those are feelings you deal with chronically, however, and you have the means to do so, I highly suggest trying to find professional help
It’s a combination of an expiration date as well as chronic. I started therapy recently and I’m on meds as well. We’ll see how that goes. So I just want to get this short period over with, because the combination is pretty unbearable…
Ah! Glad to hear that. Yeah, starting new meds can be rough for the first while. Especially if you’re experiencing side effects (which in my experience at least vastly diminished over time). Good luck, and I hope you’re able to start getting some better sleep. That’ll make a huge difference once possible.
In combination with the exercise it sounds like you’re doing anyway, have you tried a bit of Yoga and a bit of listening to meditative sounds before/during bed/sleep/end of day? You may have tried similar things already, but if not, maybe worth a go? It’s not going to pass/waste time as such, but might put you into a better position to stop your mind racing with negativity, especially in that crucial pre-sleep phase.
Particularly looking at “Yoga for Anxiety” or “Yoga for Mental Health” type things, moreso than general strength and fitness Yoga. You’ll find a bunch online. You might find something like this Yoga Healthcare Alliance 10 Week Course works for you (it’s promoted by the UK’s NHS for some conditions). It’s focusing on basic de-stressing, de-tensing muscles, breathing focus, and may help you feel calm and relaxed - which may give you a good nights sleep - which could potentially do wonders for beginning to recover.
I’d also suggest combining it with some “sleep headphones” - a fabric headband with some really flat headphone speakers inside it - then listen to a combination of “meditation for anxiety” or “8 hours deep sleep ambient soundscape” type things whilst you lie there.
Ideally you’d do the Yoga sat on your bed, then drop straight into something like “a nice man tells you you’re great and everything will be fine” followed by some sort of “inner peace meditation that lasts 8 hours or longer”. Obviously, you’ll find your own preferred voices/sounds. I’ve also used white noise style “starship engine sound” or “on a night train” audio.
If you watch them on your phone with “Newpipe”, you can save them as videos or just as audio files - which you can then set up as playlists in VLC. No point in downloading the same thing every night.
This whole set of things might not work for you at all, but if you’re up for hours anyway, what do you have to lose?
Personally, I found this process helped me massively on my way out of a similar patch (combined with exercising more, quitting caffeine for a while, CBT therapy - it was a multiple angle approach).
Regardless, I wish you luck and pass you my best wishes in your recovery.
Also if you want some interesting soundscapes, I can recommend exploring mynoise.net. They have a huge variety of natural and artificial soundscapes, including a bunch of musical ones that are all tuned to be compatible with one another, so you can mix & match them. They also have a phone app, but you can only use one sound at a time with it. Also not everything is available if you don’t make a donation. I gave them 5 bucks a couple of years ago and it’s one of the best 5 bucks I’ve ever spent. It wasn’t hard to then spend a few more dollars on the app.
I use them for focus when I’m working, but lately I’ve also used them for sleeping. It works really well for me.
Learn to crochet. It’s not hard to learn, aside from some people whose brains are wired a bit different, and it doesn’t cost much to get into. Eats up a lot of time for larger projects, and you can kinda watch tv or listen to radio/audiobooks while doing it.
Audiobooks+ some other mindless activity shuts my brain off really well. Find a series you love that your library has and pick up a new sudoku or other puzzle app and go to town.
If you’re having trouble finding books I recommend a long sci fi or fantasy series. The Expanse is great, or Dune is also fantastically long. If fantasy is more your style maybe someone can recommend something but I know the wheel of time has a ton of books.
As for mindless things to do while you listen to audiobooks, either find a puzzle game or pick something up to do with your hands that requires few materials and is calming and productive. Here are a few that work for me:
Coloring (you can print out free coloring pages from the Internet like the ones here: https://www.crayola.com/free-coloring-pages/adult-coloring-pages/)
Color by number
Crochet or knitting (lots of good online tutorials and making a scarf is a good first project)
Modeling clay (just reuse the same clay over and over again if you want to save money/supplies)
Yoga
Walking on a treadmill or riding an exercise bike
Weightlifting with free weights at home
Tai chi
Best of luck, I know this type of thing is tough. Try to stick to regular wake/sleep cycles as much as possible and get outside during the day if you can, it definitely helps. Sending hugs and hoping things get better soon.
Do more things, start doing something at home that will take a long time and keep doing it until you’re so tired you can’t keep going.
That’s kind of exactly what I’m asking. What kinds of things would fall under that?
What are you into?
Learn to draw? Build/make something?
Learn to program?
Shoot videos with your phone and learn to edit (davinci resolve is a free editing software). Shoot whatever, little stories/vlogs/clips for friends.
Clean everything in your house, inside the fridge, the whole shower (above/below), dust the walls, go through your closet/drawers/bookshelfs/etc. The places you’d never otherwise pat attention to.
Move furniture in your home and reorganize the layout of your stuff.
Learn to cook, really dig into how to make sauces, properly cook steaks/fish/etc. Practice cutting veggies and perfect your knife skills.
I mean, there’s a million things to do.
Paint a wall in a certain pattern, using multiple colors. It needs time for planning, time for buying tools, and time for execution.
Fix something. Replace dying batteries for electronics, take a look around the house, anything you can find parts on ifixit for. It requires focus and skill, gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment, and you benefit from your items longer. Also cheaper in the long run.
Tinker around the house. There’s always something broken or in a bad condition. Repaint stuff, reapply stuff.
Build something with your hands. Try woodworking.
Gardening unfortunately is usually done outside and during the day, but you could try indoors hydroponics or vertical gardening. Try to automatize it.
Learn programming. Learn hobby electronics. Arduino is easy to learn and requires both. Could help with the automatization above. You can find cheap clones and parts. You mainly work with DC under 12V, so it’s relatively safe.
Be curious. Watch Youtube videos about any subject you might find interesting, learn how stuff works, no matter how familiar or not they are. A lot of times I don’t have the patience to watch a show, but I find myself getting into a Youtube / Wikipedia rabbit hole about cryptography, programming, how games are made, how mechanical pinball machines work, lockpicking, painting, large buildings fails, quantum physics, astrophysics, photography.
Watch Cosmos, presented by Neil deGrasse Tyson.
