Apologies if this could be against rule 1. I don’t think so personally but feel free to remove if mod thinks so.

So, I lost my friend. He was a good friend and knew levels of me really well that possibly nobody does. But this is not a mourning post.

Aside from the tragedy, it’s dull (as insensitive as this might sound). Looking and finding new contacts is a huge challenge filled with a lot of setbacks. Lots of work, I am certain most of you will understand.

So life just got a lot duller.

Edit: thank you for the empathy.

Edit: apologies if I am not thanking everyone separately, I do read all of them. It is very supportive and heartwarming and possibly one of the best moments in responses for me since the beginning of the public internet (not exaggerating, I do remember)

  • Yondoza@sh.itjust.works
    271·
    2 days ago

    I recently lost a close friend also. It’s hard to fathom how life can go on after tragedy, but it flows on all around you. Just people going about their day unaware of the immense vacuum where there was once joy and warmth and comfort. It’s a terrible experience, I’m so sorry for your loss.

  • fubarx@lemmy.world
    2·
    1 day ago

    Condolences. It’s not easy. Getting over a loss takes time. Best thing is to remember all the positives that friend brought you. Specific times that stick in your mind.

  • BurgerBaron@quokk.auEnglish
    3·
    1 day ago

    I had a friend like that, the world is most certainly duller ever since I lost them. Sorry for your loss, OP.

  • ion@lemmy.zip
    11·
    2 days ago

    Because they cannot, I will do something dull today in their memory.

    • Strider@lemmy.worldOP
      161·
      2 days ago

      I understood that reference. Laughing and humor is always and possibly especially welcome in the face of death.

  • bigbangdangler@reddthat.com
    2·
    1 day ago

    Very sorry. My condolences. I don’t really know what else to say in this context except that you probably have more support than you realize.

  • derek@infosec.pub
    1·
    1 day ago

    That doesn’t sound insensitive. It sounds honest.

    Much around death is shockingly mundane. For every heaving grief I know there are dozens of petty ones riding its coattails. All of them dull and common. I think that’s healthy to recognize.

  • Cris_Citrus@piefed.zipEnglish
    121·
    2 days ago

    Sending love my friend 🫂

    If it is comfortable to talk about in this setting, how did he pass (asking as an invitation to talk about things. I always struggle to say anything in detail unless invited, but you are welcome not to share if thats preferable :)

    • Strider@lemmy.worldOP
      121·
      2 days ago

      Thank you (not to mention all the others, ofc).

      I’m ‘fine’ regarding that, at least as I can be. It was cancer, of course. Several struggles over years and the end was more or less given. I hoped when the time came it would not drag on too much and it didn’t, but the suffering before had been enough already.

      Maybe the knowledge of the situation gave all a head start to cope with the loss, but it does not help at all.

      • vrek@programming.devEnglish
        12·
        2 days ago

        Since you made the comment that laughter and humor always helped in tough situations like this, I’ll give you two cancer jokes.

        #1

        A guy runs into a old friend who looks really depressed. The guy asks what’s wrong. “I just lost lost my father.” the guy is shocked “oh my god, that’s horrible, what did he die of?” the depressed friend replies “the big C”. The other guy says “cancer is horrible”. The depressed guy looks confused “cancer? No, he was out fishing and fell off the boat. He drowned in The Big Sea”

        #2

        A man rushes to the hospital worried about his wife. He gets there and talks to the doctor. “I’m sorry for your lose but we couldn’t save her” The husband is crying but through his tears asked “what killed her?” the doctor replies “the big c” the husband looks shocked “I didn’t even know she had cancer”. The doctor replied “no, no, you misunderstand! She was walking out of CVS and the sign wasn’t secured properly…”