As a guy that exclusively fixes printers for my 9 to 5. I can confirm this is 100% true
Everything smart in my house is self hosted and air gapped.
My tech illiterate friend: “we’ve got *webcams in every room! 💕”
*Chinese, cloud based
Ahhh, beat me to it lol
Like that fucking snitch deserves.
Goddamn it feels good to be a gansta.
Pee Cee Load Letter?! What the fuck does that mean?!
I’m also pretty sure that cats understand human languages and just choose to ignore us most of the time.
They choose to actively impede humanity.
Just like humanity!
One of my friends, who has never had a cat, told me that cats were way stupider than dogs because they didn’t follow basic commands and probably didn’t even know their own names.
I think it takes living with cats to realize that they are smart as hell and understand a lot of what you’re saying - they just don’t give a fuck.
Some are dumb as bricks though, as they’re all individuals. I know cat siblings where one was super smart, careful and fancy, and the other one an idiot, who also drooled and dropped from tables. This applies to dogs too: I’ve met ones with no thoughts behind their eyes, and then ones like my late doberman who could open locked doors if she felt like it
This is just reminding me of my current cat who will open the door to my room, then get inside and close it. I think it’s to get my attention, but the funny part is always when he is ready to leave and he realizes the consequences of his actions.
Not mine, its from the 90s and i wish to be buried with it
Bold of you to assume you’re going to be the one to outlive a 90s printer.
Nah it’s like how some cultures used to bury live servants with their masters when the master died. Pretty greedy tbh, that printer could serve generations after them
I told you to not give it a gun!!
I don’t see that assumption though.
I wish I still had my Okidata printer I used with my C-64. Yes, it’s dot matrix and slow, but it knew its job and did it well. Same with our later HP 5P. Solid. What the hell happened, HP?
Oh, you need to print a form before going to the airport because of some outdated entry requirement? Sure, I will jam the paper 3 times, ask for a magenta cartridge after failing printing, even if you are printing black only, and then i will ask to sacrifice your first born when you are getting desperate to print and leave!
Every printer is a fucking snitch.
I mean, color printers are with their yellow tracking dots.
I recall something about b&w printers too
Haven’t heard that, but would be interested in learning more.
Vague memory. I think its in, like, micro patterns or something.
Technically, its not their fault, they were made that way and have no means of changing themselves…
But that doesn’t change that they functionally are agents of evil.
… They’re basically Orcs, but with even less agency.
They were forged in the evil foundries of Hewlett-Packard
Just read that (at least 3D) printers will become even more evil
(seriously, lol, or should I say, lmao, at whoever thought about doing this kind of shit unironically)
Yo, that’s crazy
Soon anarchists won’t even be able to print posters anymore lol, the writers of Cyberpunk 2077 couldn’t make this shit up.
It’s more the printer companies that are evil.
Printers from the 90s and early 2000s were still pretty good. They had problems with paper jams, but that’s not really surprising when you’re moving a physical object around like that. The models designed for office use were really sturdy and built to handle a work environment that was still mostly based around paper. So, they expected to be used heavily.
Since then, they’ve cheaped out on a lot of the components because printing is much less common so they’re not expected to handle as much heavy work. But, more importantly, the DMCA has allowed manufacturers to load them up with DRM that refuses to use any ink that isn’t sold by the printer manufacturer.
Printers suck now because they always sucked. You just used models that cost 3x as much.
Printers suck in part because they’re mechanical devices that move paper. They are subject to fatigue and their feed stock is inconsistent, and they are built to a cost so they’re as cheaply made as possible.
But they also suck because manufacturers aren’t content to just sell machines that either put ink on paper or fuse toner to same. They also have to screw people as hard as possible on ink/toner. Which means artificial limitations rather than physical ones. And that’s where they really start to suck.
The models that cost 3x as much now suck. At least it used to be possible to get one that didn’t suck.
I tripped and fell a while ago. I have no idea how it happened but I’m pretty sure I heard the printer chuckle. I’ve been sleeping with the lights on and a balled-up sheet of paper under my pillow ever since. If it tries anything, I’m shoving that paper in its paper tray. And then I’ll say something cool like “I hope you brought your guitar, cause it’s time to jam!”
I have had exactly zero problems with the two Brother laser printers I’ve owned for the last 20 years.
I haven’t had problems with printers on Linux or Mac. Literally just windows that is shit honestly.
i heard the reason the printer wastes your cyan or magenta and refuses to print without it even for black and white prints is that it has to finger print the paper so it can be traced back to you
It’s not the printers themselves that are evil. They were just made this way by their overlords.
