Okay Mr speedy gonzolaz, I can see your high powered LED sun beam headlights that are so far up my tail pipe my engine compartment looks like a disco.

I get you want to pass me. I want you to pass me to so you can get to your DWI faster. Unfortunately I am going 75mph in a 65mph speed zone and there are a whole line of stoners driving 45 to the nearest source of frozen pizza filling the right lane.

Yes, i can see you are somehow immune to speeding tickets and want to go 95mph. No I don’t want to get over in the right lane and go 45mph just for you my special boy.

Please wait one half of a minute while I clear this conga line of slow pokes and then you will be free to speed off to your inevitable demise.

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I work with doctors who are probably the most well educated people in the world, and I have lost esteem of their intellect for several of them for an assortment of reasons, largely COVID related:

1. Asked me how to spell tax, born English speaking.
2. A neurosurgeon who cuts into people’s brains routinely barely got the required vaccinations for COVID to stay employed, and assured me children don’t need COVID vaccines because they are immune, tried to work mask free long before mandates were lifted, and grabbed my hand and shook it during a lockdown point where we were all decidedly not touching each other.
3. Assured me I didn’t need any more COVID vaccines beyond the two. I have had nine.
4. Assured me I didn’t need to wear an N95 during Delta.
5. Spelled God Gaud.
6. Wildly incorrect diagnosis where he should have known better.
7. They mostly don’t respect trans people, most doctors don’t.
8. Said his patients are all nuts.
9. Cheap as dirt and highly ungrateful for the people that work for them.
10. Has a violent case of BPD and was so abusive she was dismissed.
11. Tried to murder his ex.
12. Beat his ex.
13. Did murder his ex.
14. Borrowed money from patients twice, sexually abused his patients twice, lost license thankfully.
15. Would be kicking the wall in the OR if she got angry instead of tending to her patient under anesthesia.

Also nurses. Why are so many nurses so shitty? Even beyond the antivax ones, I know nurses who would steal insulin to euthanize animals at home (which is NOT humane), nurses who said about a suicide victim “Well she got what she wanted”, nurses who showed me pictures in the act of threesomes, nurses who stole anesthesia meds for sleeping, nurses who ended up in relationships with patients, and nurse managers who I’m quite convinced were sociopaths, who told one of the clerks that she was a body at a desk and easily replaced.

I realize we’re all human but fuck it’s awful how many of them are perfect idiots.

Daylight Saving Time

The trope in movies where everyone drops their guns and does everything a psychopathic murderer says, because he is holding a gun to someone else’s head. Congratulations, you just got that person and yourselves killed. He’s not going to suddenly have a change of heart and become reasonable just because you dropped your only means of defending yourself against him.

People walking slow enough to pass but not letting you.

People walking too slow to stay behind them but too fast to pass in a reasonable amount of time and distance.

I want to find the man who put sound effects in Microsoft Minesweeper, whenever that happened? When it went from grey Windows 95 looking to the blue background and the smiley face disappeared. I want to find the guy who put those sound effects in the game, and I want to hand plane his scrotum off and then send him home with nothing holding his testicles on but his fruit of the looms.

Mouse cord getting caught on things. Makes me want to yank it forcefully.

People who think freedom of speech also means freedom from consequences.

Bigots being criticized is proof the system is working.

Fucktards voting for fascists.

Cars going into the pedestrian crossing area at red lights

Grains of sand

Uber/Dash drivers parking wherever suits them, blocking lanes. Inconsiderate pricks!

Then I get annoyed at the companies forcing them to meet unrealistic expectations or they stop getting jobs.

Then I get annoyed at myself for getting annoyed at the poor bastards busting their asses to make a living in a system that treats them as entirely replaceable.

Shifting a manual transmission incorrectly

Doesn’t matter how many times I do laundry, my clothes still get dirty :(