Official explanation: The Holy Spirit narrated to the author. This can be quite removed, some books were written many years after the event, some were passed down.
A few centuries later, the Council of Nicea went through all of these texts and decided, “This is real, we can tell, we’re putting this in the Bible. That… that other stuff is fake, yuck! Gross. Heresy.”
They also resolved a pressing issue for the new church. “Priests, please stop cutting your balls off, that is a metaphor, not literal instruction. Even though He said that they were literal instructions, that was also a metaphor.”
“Oh, just one more thing… you can’t get married. No, He didn’t say that, but we’re inspired by the Magic Bird, so mote it be.”
You probably think I’m joking… but sadly, no.
p.s. the church pays no taxes womp womp
The celibate came in the middle ages and wasnt a law before the begin of the 20th century
“Oh, just one more thing… you can’t get married. No, He didn’t say that, but we’re inspired by the Magic Bird, so mote it be.”
Didn’t that one come later because certain members of the clergy were having kids and functionally turning their positions into hereditary fiefdoms?
Some of the other writings that didn’t make the cut for the canonical bible are wild.
Bet a non canonical bible with only cut content is a way better book.
The Bible: Extended Cut
The book of Enoch often features in nutty ancient aliens content. Extra terrestrial beings and hand held devices and so on.
It’s important context for the canonical bible. Imagine you find a bunch of scrolls in urns in a cave and it’s basically an anthology of short stories from the star wars realm. You cut out the ones that just seem too crazy and the ones that contradict others, and then call the rest your special nutty history.
My favorite bit of Christian lore is the time that predestination became a widespread belief. People cursed god and the church and sinned 30x harder, recognizing that if they did it, they were always meant to. In the absence of choice, people found hedonism not just agreeable but compulsory. Then the church solved that issue by telling people that they could actually get into heaven by paying. People got so pissed off that a sect splintered off, and I think that how we got Protestants.
Someone please tell me how many different events I erroneously mixed together.
people found hedonism not just agreeable but compulsory.
.,.
People got so pissed off that a sect splintered off, and I think that how we got Protestants.
I think something is missing or the Protestants would be Hedonists.
Flagging for best-of-lemmy
Official explanation: The Holy Spirit narrated to the author.
You mean the four authors who all wrote the same story but slightly different?
Holy spirit talking to people must have been common back then. Strange how it just stopped.
It didn’t stop, we just understand it as psychosis these days.
This is ‘explained’ by Julian Jayne’s idea of the Bicameral Mind.
So, everyone had, until 3000 years ago, schizophrenia induced by gods and were comanded by gods? That’s some wild mental gymnastic he did…
Wait what? Really? I mean I figured. Just…it was basically like that?
Well, he didn’t say you can’t rape little boys…
He came back after getting crucified prolly told them about it then
deleted by creator
The part where Moses writes down his own death and funeral is also pretty trippy.
I also like how John keeps saying “BTW Jesus totally liked me more than the other disciples. Beloved, even.”
Makes sense
God spoke to the writers of the gospels and told them to write down the story.
I mean I have no idea why each version of the same story is different. Maybe different timelines, dimensions?
God works in mysterious ways. 🤷♂️
Different idiots.
new testament is obviously bullshit
the old testament has some really great stories but it’s unfortunate the Jews rewrote all the stories to fit their narrative
still not a bad book
7/10
