edit: neigh
During a meeting, former U.S. President John F. Kennedy seemingly asked Joseph Luns, the then Dutch Minister of Foreign Affairs, about his hobbies, and the subsequent conversation went like this:
“I fok horses.”
“Pardon?”
“Yes, paarden!”
Now, let’s not get into who fucks what, Mr Kennedy.
“After the results that ICE has obtained with their hiring standards, we decided to tap into a new segment of candidates in hopes we’ll improve effectiveness in the force”
– Some internal memo
His name is Cash App? Jesus.
You’re literally making the same “joke” as the old “har har Chinese people name their kid by throwing a fork down the stairs. Ching Ching Chong ping pong.”
Be better.
That’s some crypto scammer ass nominative determinism there
I’M APPLYIN’ I’M QUALIFYIN’ FOR FBI DESPITE HORSE DEFILIN’
Holy shit you’re on to something real catchy
Yeah, I wanna hear the whole thing, honestly.
Like horse herpes
Horspes
Cum wit’ it now
Cum wit’ it now
Bulls getting laid
The thing is, is that the reasoning is sound. If someone was forced into bestiality because they were a victim of trafficking or something they shouldn’t be disqualified from working somewhere.
But voluntary bestiality should just be a felony, and then the fbi should not hire convicted felons rather than there being an entire senate hearing to discuss the nuances of bestiality in relation to FBI employment when there’s 1000 more pressing issues these fucks should be talking about.
Is their stated reasoning their real reason or is this a media circus to distract from something worse? Namely, is the policy change about animal abuse in general and we’re focusing on this when the policy change is actually intending to allow sociopaths into the FBI?
So 2 things, first if someone was trafficked, it could be very likely that the perpetrator has photos/videos of the act of being rated by an animal. That is some very powerful blackmail and also quite likely to send that agent into a mental break from the trauma.
Secondly cashapp patel said that the animal would also not be disqualified which my mind immediately goes to animals specifically trained to rape, implying that the fbi could be training animals for that exact purpose.
Secondly cashapp patel said that the animal would also not be disqualified
Specifically, he said that current laws automatically disqualify both victims and perpetrators of sex crimes. For instance, both a pimp and his trafficked prostitute get charged with crimes. Kash said the law currently targets both parties. The senator then turned that around and went “so in cases of bestiality, the animal is the other party? And the animal could be hired by the FBI?” And Kash basically went “I mean… I guess if you want to put it like that?”
In reality, if a trafficking victim is being forced into bestiality, the animal wouldn’t be the “other party” in this case. The other party would be whoever is forcing the victim into doing it. But the senator wanted their “Kash says FBI will hire rapist animals” soundbite, and Kash happily gave it to him because he’s a fucking idiot.
I dislike Kash, (he always looks like someone is slowly but steadily inserting hardboiled eggs into his ass, and he’s trying not to react to it), but as the above poster said, the actual reasoning behind the decision isn’t awful. Trafficking victims often get charged with sex crimes under our existing laws, because the laws don’t make a distinction between victim and perpetrator. If you get caught for prostitution, the law isn’t going to care that you were trafficked and forced into it. Which then makes escaping the situation even harder because those arrests will show up on a background check when they apply for jobs. In that way, the system is actually designed to keep the victim in sex work, because it’s one of the few ways they’ll have to make money after being charged with a crime.
For real? Like literally, this is the hill you want to climb up and die on? Defending CashApp’s bestiality rules? If doing away with this rule was in anyway sound or logical at all, Asshat and his cronies wouldn’t be jumping over hoops to try to justify it?
Like even IF, EVEN IF his bullshit trafficking excuse is valid how many of these situations are ACTUALLY coming up?!
This genuinely feels like that meme where the dude me just standing there holding his dick in his hand and saying “uhhh AcTuALlY”.
To contribute my own corpse to the hill, the section of the rule specifically discussing bestiality existed long before the current administration. Their updating of the rules to be less absolute probably should have dropped the explicit callout entirely (because uh… guys, how often does that come up that it needs to be specified?? (real answer is that it’s an artifact from bestiality laws not being uniformly codified - which it still isn’t. for example, It was only made mostly illegal in Canada in 2019)) but it’s important context that this rule change wasn’t done in a vacuum, it was a pretty wide reduction in automatic disqualifications and this was among them.
It really does seem like this is just a flashy but bullshit distraction from all the other, much more heinous shit that’s going on.
The FBI sure likes borrowing a lot of techniques from IDF like all the police…
I recognize the possibility of a tin foil hat, but bear with me: what if they don’t want to talk about those 1000 more pressing issues? What if this is just an interesting enough distraction to get to the weekend and then they count on people being busy and then kinda just forgetting shit by Monday? Every question about this is taking the place of what might otherwise be a question about the trump epstein files. Or Iran. Or Chinese dominance. Or the collapsing economy. Or people getting sick. Or thing after thing after thing. There are zero wins, but we can’t help but talk about the FBI being open to hiring horse fuckers or whatever because that’s the hot new story.
I mean I basically just assume that’s the whole point of 90% of politics at this point is to put on theatre that keeps people arguing about useless topics so that the systems to suck them dry more efficiently and further increase the class divide are strengthened without anyone paying attention
That is the entire point.
The bar for being hired by the FBI is higher than criminal conviction, though (I hope?).
Wait, his first name is seriously CashApp?
Kashyap but yeah, that’s not much better tbh 😄
Ironically won’t put his money where his mouth is
Which is usually on a whiskey bottle.
I was gonna say a
Mr. Hands is meatspinning in his grave, he was just born too early.
I believe he was in the Air Force, but I came here to say something similar…
Edit: Nevermind, he was an aerospace engineer who worked for Boeing.
Bulls on parade is also about bulls running a train on Kashyap
I heard he’s going to move the FBI HQ to Enumclaw, Washington.
They’re unveiling the Special Agent Hands Memorial next week
UNH!
Thats a good one 🤣… The award goes to 🏅
Hosses, surely
