Go to therapy and work on yourself deliberately for years and years. It works. I was super messed up and hateful and angry and I would never have believed that I could love myself, but I do.
I know “cheat code” implies quick or easy or both and this isn’t either one, but it’s life changing if you do it.
If you look a little angry all the time nobody guesses that you’re actually stoned as balls.
EVERYBODY KNOWS
Very interesting question honestly. The folks at my work probaby wonder it considering I am always giving enthusiasm even at the start of the work week.
I would not so much call it a “cheat code,” but what helps is to place yourself in this moment in time. What happened did, what happens now is, what happens later is not yet reality. To be fully present in the moment you are, and to embrace that and be in tune with your inner realm, that is how you can live life fully. At least, that is how I see it.
Many worry about the past which is just pointless, many worry about the future which will come regardless of worry and can only be changed by being present in the now. If we lose ourselves in times that are not, we lose the time that is, which is a travesty. “Right now is still special because you are here for it.”
Any_Austin is a youtuber and pilot who uses a pilot’s checklist
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IMSAFE
In his everyday life to help him understand why he’s feeling bad or grumpy. He talked about it in his podcast with Memoria.
Adderall
Cleaning when I feel bad. Getting rid of physical things is a substitute for getting rid of mental things. Clean outside = clean(er) inside.
Just tell yourself you’re not going to lift heavy/are going to lift light. When you don’t have the motivation (or whatever) to go to the gym, tell yourself this. Like, “I’m not going to work too hard. It’ll be easy.” Works a treat. Then even if you end up doing that (which is unlikely - I always end up getting in the mood hehe) then at least you did something and kept the momentum.
Edit to say: The hardest lift is getting off the couch.
I do method acting, like “in this next scene I am going to play an extrovert who enjoys making small talk at professional conferences with potential customers and employers”
That is actually pretty clever.
I used to do a lot of driving for work and it’s important to manage stress in traffic. Whenever someone would do something that aggravated me, I’d pretend that they did it for some silly reason and it helped me stay calm.
Someone cut you off? They must have have to shit so bad. Someone driving crazy fast? They’re trying to get to their wife before their girlfriend does.
When you’re kind to people or simply are polite, they help you.
I swear everyone needs to work retail for a bit because that’s so painfully obvious once you’ve done a few weeks of it. I never went of my way to help someone who was being a dick
Or they take advantage of you
That’s not really a hack so much as the basic behaviour on which all human success is predicated.
Unless you see success as being a billionaire.
There’s no way for me to judge myself by that yardstick and not want to [redacted] myself in the grawlix.
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When I have a thought I don’t want, i hum a little tune
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When I feel bad about something happening right now I remind myself that no feeling is forever, everything is temporary, there’s always a tomorrow
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When I feel bad about something that happened in the past I remind myself that happened to me, that I transcended it, and it doesn’t define me, but allowed me to make better choices in future
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I swapped alcohol and soda for seltzer
Wow All the same for me! Except #3 I remind myself that it wasn’t me, there’s barely any of the same atoms in my body from then. It’s an experience I hold but it’s not me now at all
I should really drink less often, the calories aren’t worth it…
Try drinking a lot more. Life will get so utterly insufferable that you’ll end up with the choice between death and sobriety.
I chose sobriety, the thought of touching alcohol gives me anxiety
Have tried drinking too much, I gained two stone and slept like shit? Being hot and not cranky are really important to me, I’m finding
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Whenever someone is doing, or is about to do, something stupid, simply say out loud what they’re doing, and ask what they want to happen.
“What is the end result you’re looking for?” That’s my version of this.
This is also good when self-directed. Usually framed as mindfulness.
Get into the habit of just observing what you’re doing, and stating it to yourself (out loud or just in your mind). When you’re doing something you don’t want to do (eg, eating too much, procrastinating, losing your temper), looking at it from a disconnected perspective helps you evaluate the costs and reconsider.
It’s a great hack, but it takes finesse to keep my mask on when I do it
If you don’t want to go outside, put on sunscreen. Might as well go outside now so as not to waste it.
Hahahaha this is really funny. I really like it. (This reads sarcastically but it’s the truth)
I have anxiety and there’s a switch I mentally flip. So when I first started working with the public again, I would sweat so bad. It would cause me to be even more nervous, because I must look nasty, right?
About six months into my new job and now having to be a manager that still has associate duties (for some reason), there was this click. I didn’t care what people thought about me. I HAD to keep this job. I stopped pushing myself to run from one place to another.
Every now and then, I’ll catch myself worrying about people and workplace politics and I’ll switch it off. The sweating stops, I move more confidently, but I still maintain courtesy. Not because I’m rushing to do it now, but because it just has to be that way.
I let negative criticism from my abusive environment roll off me. I don’t worry about being terminated. Because the work I provide is triple the output of a normal associate and, yes, they could replace me, but it would be a shitshow to do it.
So, the moral of the story is, stop caring about what people think of you. Don’t take every comment to heart. Free yourself from the societal hierarchy. It’s not easy, but if a little ball of anxiety and depression like me can do it, so can you.
Imagine a physical switch. It can be anything- a lightswitch, a button, a lever. Pull that switch when you feel pressured or overwhelmed. You might have a few fails, but it will eventually succeed.
Do me a favour. Or rather yourself a favour. Look out for signs of burnout and do whatever you can to avoid it.
Because I once took a job that was completely against my desire and nature. I was on the phone with customers a lot. I communicated with complete strangers a lot. For a decade and a half.
And I was so good at it that I didn’t feel like I could quit or escape and I basically melted down and burnt out, and now those old mechanisms and mental tricks I used to do to get me up and at 'em every day do. not. work. And neither can I.
Currently at work, but I do want to address this. In short, though: self advocating. I do not let them run me over.
If someone is using rhetorical questions in a discussion, answer them earnestly. If you’re not a prick about it it’s a great way to defuse a heated debate sometimes.
