OCCUPIED!

But what’s weird is that 99% of the time I have no idea what to say in any given situation, but this public restroom scenario just came naturally to me one day and still comes naturally to me every time. That’s weird isn’t it? Like I’m only comfortable & functional in the most uncomfortable situations 🤦🏼‍♀️

“Come back with a warrant!”

OCCUPADO

Sorry babe I’m flying solo today

Occupied.

“Nein! Ich habe farfrompoopen!”

“Come on in, I kept the seat warm for you”

“Just a sec, I’m doing the paperwork!”

Fuq orf am shiten

Let’s get ready to rumble.

THANK GOD, I NEED A WITNESS!

“I am the gatekeeper! Are you the keymaster?”

I would like to share this timeless classic

<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER

“come in!”

“Fuck off” making sure to shout it as loud as the knock.