A lot of people kiss their pets or non-human animals in general. I find that very weird. I understand that it is a sign of affection but it seems so off. One reason is that I doubt whether animals really understand this. Also it seems to be on a level of intimacy to me that I find weird sharing with a pet. Not necessarily romantically or sexually (that would be even more weird and wrong and probably illegal). But it is still “more”. I am not sure whether I can really explain why exactly I find that weird.
Anyway, what is something that is weird to you but not to most other people?
Genuine question that will probably get a lot of hate:
Why do people apologize when someone says a person close to them died? They didn’t do anything wrong, so what’s the apology for?
“I’m sorry” can also mean something like “my sympathies.”
In Canada, we have like 5 ways to say sorry. One of them means “what’s your actual dysfunction, idiot?” And another means “it’s amazing you’re still alive. Do you have a minder?”
There’s a lotta nuance in the delivery.
I’m English the word “sorry” doesn’t mean “I take responsibility for this event or action” it means “I am expressing regret that the event or action has occured,” and normally comes with the condition of responsibility, but it’s really just a way of expressing empathy or regret for the event. “I’m sorry this has happened” is not the same thing as “I am sorry I did this”
Just a quirk of our language. In Spanish*, “I’m sorry” is translated to “lo siento” and literally means something along the lines “I feel” or “I feel this,” an expression of literal empathy for the occurrence. You can also say “perdon” which translates closer to pardon, as in pardon me. I don’t know the cultural context in Spanish speaking countries very well, but that one feels more like accepting responsibility, if one needs to be pardoned.
*I am not a Spanish speaker. Take this with a dose of salt your cardiologist would be quite upset about.
Sorry and sorrow are similar words, from the same root. I think that’s how it evolved.
Bothers me, too. I try to find other ways to express my sympathy.
If you don’t like the idea of saying “I’m sorry for your loss” because it feels like apologizing for something you didn’t do, you can use the classy and traditional “My deepest condolences on the loss of your…”
And it’s a legit question, no hate generated.
This has always bugged me. There’s a lot of stress on the “your loss” part, as if to say “I’m better for I didn’t lose anything today”. At best it’s trite, and at worst it sounds sarcastic. I think that little rote gesture is about the worst thing anyone can say at that moment.
Just say “I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this, so let me know where I can help” or “Jerry was a great guy ; I’m gonna miss him.”
It feels very impersonal, which is probably because/why it’s used so often by detectives investigating deaths. There’s a noncommittal “… but yes you’re a suspect, and where were you at 7:22 pm last night?” that goes with it. I’m sorry for your loss, but what did you gain?
As a human talking to a friend you can probably do better. But think it out and practice it beforehand, because saying something, anything, is better than getting tongue-tied and saying nothing. Or worse, avoiding them altogether.
One I’ve always appreciated is “that sucks” (or equivalent) without additional qualifiers.