Obviously 1 and 4. I’d be happy and filthy rich in no time.
Can I save 8. until I’m old and frail and swap with someone younger?
Hey. No being John Malkovich!
what in the boomer book is this doing on lemmy
Hate to break it to you, but I’m pretty sure @Mickey7@lemmy.world is a boomer, just going by the nostalgia posting he’s been doing lately, a nice break from the usual horny posting tho.
Nostalgia is just another fun thing for those who love studying history.
I don’t know a single person who studies history, understands it AND is nostalgic.
4&5 Although I’m wondering if 1 is “The first partner you find perfect” or “The first perfect partner to ever exist in general” …
With 6 and 2 (and no further stipulations), I could end world hunger. ✌️😅
#5 to invest immediately and #4 to afford 2-3 and 6-7 over time, without noticing the draw on my account. With decent yeilds on investments, I’ll be getting lots of things for “free”. Swapping bodies with a celebrity is creepy, no thanks. Marriage? Never again.
You’re seriously underestimating the potential value of 7, definitely pick that instead of 5.
The most expensive car ever sold was a 1955 Mercedes Benz coming in at around $140 million.
You seriously underestimate my ability to invest 🤓
$20m in seed funds would be amazing.
Maybe just a little now my friend, even super discounted, you could find 5 cars that would net you over 100 million.
Where the heck would I store five cars worth millions of dollars.
How the hell would I find a buyer who would reliably pay me those millions of dollars without ripping me off or stealing it before I could sell it.
I live in Canada. Those cars would disintegrate before I got them to somewhere capable of storing them.
I would much rather have $20 million now in my account. Even in cash would be manageable.
In both situations you hire somebody to deal with that for you. I know just as much about car storage and art insurance as I am with dealing with millions in cash. Investing would be amazing but I’d also somehow screw myself with taxes.
Yeah, I also am not confident in my ability to find asd hire a competent person to manage the cars, or the money for that matter.
The 20 million doesn’t even have to be invested until one can look into tax implications because it can just sit still in an account or under a bed; not so much for the cars.
This is the real answer. But eventually loneliness will get the better of you.
I take this as one of those monkey paw situations although I suppose it doesn’t say anything about not having significant others.
4&5. I already have the perfect partner so 1 is out. Body swap loses that partner, so 8 is out. Everything else here is just free money with extra steps and my disdain for paying for things isn’t so great that I’d limit my options to avoid actually seeing the bill. 20mil initial investments and 30k monthly income while the rest goes to more investments.
Now, that’s 360,000 personal and 11,640,000 investment annually. With this money being obtained presumably through magic, I would not need to dedicate time to making it. With the allotted free time, I would purchase or establish an independent bank to store my income as well as a small investing firm to manage my wealth. They would be personally vetted, paid handsomely, and I would dedicate time to accommodate their needs and engage with them. They’re not my servants, they’re literally the people making this work.
With this established, I would first buy up large swaths of the entertainment industry in rural areas across the US. Bowling allies, movie theatres, pools, gyms, things like that as well as at least one advertising and PR firm. These become socialized. Free access for anyone under 20, memberships are income based sliding scales. Employees are paid fair marker value. I will also broker deals with aldi to begin putting stores in every population bigger than 2k. These ventures are subsidized by my own magic money and dividends from my investments.
After effectively white washing my image with philanthropy for the first 5 years, I will retain a retinue of private mercinaries recruited from military and paramilitary bodies based on their commitment to my cause and picked for a complex mix of loyalty and willingness to do awful things for a good reason. Through a combination of
briberylobbying and the liberal application of men with violence, I will begin to curate government policy. Incentivizing the nationalization of businesses too big to fail, utilities, and infrastructural maintenance needs. Using my network of entertainment venues I will away public opinion in the support of this and candidates I approve of through the application of advertising and psychological warfare techniques.At year 10, I will begin orchestrating the removal of the wealthy elite. Most live lavish and reckless lifestyles and accidents happen. The key point here is that you can’t buy a billionaire but you can buy their dealer and I’m sure he’s not getting paid as much as my bowling alley attendants make. With the pool of competing interests dwindling, I will return to step 1 and continue my efforts to effectively make fun free.
And this is why I’m not allowed to have money.
The fuck is this, Applebee’s? Alright fine… 1 and 4.
4 basically covers everything except 1 and 8.
So yeah 1 and 4 are what I would choose too.
Mickey7, my man, you usually post material than this. This is a no brainer.
I would take 4 and donet 2 to the rest of you guys. The dollar might crash in a few years but bye-bye world hunger.
First, I pick unlimited free food, and become a fat disgusting asshole. The goal is to break the world record for being the fattest fuckwit in history.
Then, I swap bodies with someone like Nick Fuentes, and go back to my swapped body to find the confused, giant blob that is my former body, with Nicks mind inside.
He’s crying and shitting himself, barely able to move, cannot reach his cloth-stick to clean his asshole (because I threw it in the corner before swapping bodies).
I post videos like “check out my new pet” and blackmail my swapped self into performing in the videos, who has to watch his reputation of his former self reduced to some guy who uses a morbidly obese man as a beanbag.
I’ll have 2 and 4 please
1 and 4 , also 1 could be a celebrity so you get something of 8. everything else is just buyable.
only need 1.
