I am cishet white male, so I am probably ignorant. In my opinion you have no bigger obligation to be an activist than me.
However, I do believe all people have a certain obligation to participate unless the cost is too severe.
If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.
- Desmond Tutu
I have a lower cost of participating due to my privileges, so I do. If you consider it probable that you will get significant consequences for activism, then it’s just judgement call only you and your family can make.
It depends as most things. I think ultimately a divorce should make sure things are fair. Unless there was attempts to hide funds or something like that, the wealth acquired throughout the marriage should be split 50/50. A cheating spouse or anything like that is no reason for an uneven split. There should not be any additional financial pressure to stay in a marriage, than losing the advantage of having twice the wealth. (Bigger house etc)
If one party made more money than the other, still 50/50. That’s what is actually fair. A socialist/communist approach. Everyone knows deep in their heart, what is fair. Capitalism and wage differences already sucks, don’t bring it into the marriage and the divorce, especially if kids are involved.
If there is kids involved, then It is also extremely petty to try to cheat your spouse out of a fair deal during divorce. It’s the parent of your children for fucks sake!
Cheating sucks, but is not a reason to retaliate financially.
Edit: Alimony / Spousal support is one of the many ways to make things continue to be fair afterwards. I am positive if children is involved