Ok so I cheated on my boyfriend, it was sporadic here and there it was largely due to my xan addiction but I have kicked that and been cali sober for a few years. Speaking of Cali, my boyfriend inherited a house in the San Jose Valley, it’s a nice house pool 3 stories counting basement it cost like a lot even though in Ohio it would be 300k max.

So we are getting back together I remember how much I love him and miss him the past 9 months without him and he is missing me to. I have a ton of stuff planned but what do you suggest in terms of things to do and mindset to have ?

  • IloveyouMF@lemmy.worldOP
    12·
    2 days ago

    Please don’t ever believe this. It’s just internalized misogyny. If you’re in a relationship where you’re giving more than you’re getting, that’s a horrible relationship and you should leave.

    I find this accusation funny because I am a feminist and I used to be misandrist in that sort of tumbler way I didn’t like mean it but I said a lot of stuff that hurt him and of course I cheated.

    I think this lead to me self sabotaging our relationship because I loved him but felt like showing it was selling out. I did a lot of stupid stuff like the no porn rue, I said that I preferred penises larger then his in front of him to a friend (I was lying and I apologized afterwards) and I even tried charging him for sex because I felt men didn’t appreciate a woman’s value and I was a big believer in that dworkin quote that a husband is basically a john.

    • NGram@lemmy.caEnglish
      2·
      2 days ago

      I find this accusation funny because I am a feminist

      How you can be for equality of sexes yet still think one’s benefits are more important than another in a relationship? I’m mansplaining and gatekeeping feminism to a woman on the internet. Wow, you got me, I am definitely an asshole.

      I think this lead to me self sabotaging our relationship […]

      You also might want to reflect on how all of the things you describe in this paragraph would actually qualify as emotional abuse of your boyfriend, not self-sabotage. This is really dangerous because getting back together with your boyfriend might make you both fall into your old ways, which can include the addiction and the abuse. I hope you’ve recovered enough for that to not happen.

      Anyway, I’m going to stop talking before I make more of an ass of myself. Just know that there’s always people you can reach out to if you need help or for a random chat on the internet. I should go to bed. Goodnight.