I went to a party a couple days ago. It’s meant for queer people to meet new people. Had a surprisingly good night and met a few people.

I really wish I knew how hitting on people works because I’m so painfully oblivious to it all. People seem to have a tendency to start kissing and I have no idea what I’m doing. I was just being nice?? Anyway, that night a guy I was talking to started kissing my neck and I had to politely tell him I was just there to meet new people. Fortunately he took it super well. I have plans to invite him to one of the techno parties I go to regularly which should be fun.

Also, as I was leaving, I happened to be talking to a group of people and someone just happened to mention a band that’s playing in Toronto next week. Turns out her and I are seeing the same band play so I think we are gonna go together? We’ve been slowly texting each other so we’ll see but should be fun either way. I’m still pretty excited.

I look forward to hiking the next couple weeks, the leaves are all changing colours, lots of reds, yellow and orange. I absolutely love fall colours.

The second worst part of a new tattoo is the itch. So itchy…

saw the substance last week, and i’m still thinking about how great it was.

planted an oak tree.

took loki (aussie) and echo (border collie) to try a couple of new sports on sunday: treibball (pronounced try-ball) and barn hunt. loki liked pushing the big ball around a lot in the former, and echo has a great nose for barn hunt.

Had a wonderful weekend with a few great dates, continued good vibes into this week. I play a DJ gig tonight with a crew that I’m involved with the organization of, we’re trying to find a weekday night to regularly takeover and I’m excited to see what kinda turnout we get.

Just got back from camping with friends last week; that was a ton of fun, I kinda wish it didn’t have to end, living in the woods with friends cooking strange meat on a fire just kinda felt like the way life’s supposed to be. Also I started hrt on Monday, and everything’s just going amazing right now.

I think I’m actually happy, I like this.

Attended a fair on Saturday as a vendor but didn’t make back the table fee, which is really kind of a shame. The weather was brisk and incredibly windy, which contributed to folks not really coming through. While I lost some cash doing it, maybe half of the other vendors had broken tents and merchandise by ninety minutes in, so I have to be grateful that our plants are a little heavier than that and I bring enough weights to hold our tent in place. What I missed in dollars I may have made up for in contacts, so I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

My parents visited for the first time since our daughter was born, which was really nice for everyone involved. They even babysat so my wife and I could go out for our 7th wedding anniversary! Five minutes into being seated at the restaurant, my wife took my hand, gazed deeply into my eyes, and said “do you think she’s behaving for them?” XD

Up and down. I had a good day with my niece, we drew pictures and made pins. I also donated blood for the first time and I’m kind of proud of that, since I’m so squeamish about needles. I also took up singing again even though I’m really bad at it. I just do it quietly now, and it’s been a nice distraction when I hate my job.

Made progress on my mood issues, too. Therapy didn’t help, but so far, lifting weights until I’m too tired to be angry has been helping a lot. I don’t cause any problems for people and I go home and fall asleep immediately.

But damn, I still miss my friend after two weeks. Someone told me I sound obsessive and I think they’re right. Someone else told me that most friendships don’t actually last that long anyway and aren’t that deep. So I guess I’m coming at things with an intensity that really isn’t normal.

Also I’ve been short of breath since the blood donation, so I’ve had to cut back on lifting and singing even though they were really helpful for the first half of the week.

Absolutely fuming, because the SSA decided I owe them a shitload of money because I went over the disability resource limit… And it appears based on the dates they claim to be because of payments they gave me. Payments which did not count as a resource for the months that they claim I owe them for.
So now I gotta go through the bullshit appeal process and just hope they admit their mistake so I don’t have to take it to actual court, which, like, I’m disabled. I can barely leave the house as it is. How the hell am I expected to manage that?

But in brighter news, my long distance girlfriend got a VR headset so she can cuddle with me even with an ocean between us. That’s brightened my week a lot in spite of everything.

Sorry ima offload a thought and then get into the good stuff so skip the first two paragraphs if you want to just see the positives.

Today is one of those “if I finish my work efficiently and properly, why do I get more work? I don’t benefit from doing it faster.” days.

I’ve been doing this job for almost 6 years now. I’m not sure if I have ADHD, or if I’m just bored or what, but it’s incredibly hard to focus.

All that being said, I’m doing well! Got a 4 day week this week, so that’s always cool, and I’ve eaten a bunch of yummy food this week. The other day I got this sesame chicken rice bowl from a local food court, and I’m still thinking about it. It’s living in my head rent free lol

I also tried Takoyaki for the first time, and it’s such an interesting food. Nothing like what I expected. Very gooey, warm center with a tiny bit of octopus. I thought it would taste more fishy, but there was only the slightest hint of “sea” in it. It was mostly savory and smokey flavored. Delicious! I’ve been thinking about ramen now as it gets cooler, and I definitely want that at some point.

I’ve been streaming horror and horror adjacent games this month, and things are starting to pick up a bit more. Since the last time I posted, I grew from 100 subscribers to 220+(!?) So that’s exciting. I’m looking forward to checking out the Dead Rising Remaster soon. I love that game a lot. Such a charming and quirky game.

Theres this cool spot I like to go walking with tons of squirrels, and they are starting to get chunky as the weather gets cool. It’s always funny to see, so I’m hoping to catch their progress this weekend. I hope everyone else’s week is going well!

Off to a rocky start but the week is looking like it’s going to shape up pretty good.

Started a much needed server migration, it’s started out pretty rough with having to change the number of drives and forgetting I had to mask the 3v pins on the hard drives before hooking them up or the wouldn’t power on.

I’m currently on day 3 of the migration and I’m hoping to finish it by Wednesday.

Update: My server is back up but a portion of my network is down (whole 3D printing corner is down) and will hopefully be operational by Sunday.

went for a 2-day trip with a friend. feels good to breathe the air of another city.

Had a long video chat tonight with a friend I hadn’t talked to in months. She’s been in a pretty complicated relationship with a guy. We talked about that for awhile and then we were listening to music together. It felt really good to hang out again and the feeling seemed to be mutual. Then suddenly he was going to come over soon and then a few minutes later he was there so she had to go. I don’t really feel justified being upset with her because we did chat for hours, but the suddenness caught me off guard, and now I’m just feeling really off.