Wait for the world to get overrun by furries, but it’s just middle age bald dudes suddenly having shoulder length hair, six pack abs, and a deep sense of regret about how comfortable it is to carry around a two foot long penis.
People wishing for long hair and 6-pack abs have no clue the maintenance hell they are getting themselves into. The regret about the 2/3rds of a meter dong is spot on. Like envying a woman with melon sized breasts and not realizing how much back pain she deals with.
I also get the feeling that a lot of women would be asking exactly what they are supposed to do with a 60-cm todger.
I do have long hair. As does my wife. We buy shampoo by the gallon.
Growers unite
I’ve got hair that’s about mid back at the longest and I don’t find it particularly annoying. But then again I usually keep it pinned with a hat so that probably helps.
I’m in this comment and I don’t like it.
Excited to see which of the joke-artists actually wake up as an attack helicopter.
Page not made by the original author, but worth reading: https://isabelfall.neocities.org/
This video is required watching. Jacob Geller’s best work. 37 minutes long, but please watch the whole thing.
Seems you need to download the PDF to get all of it.
Can we agree that PDFs deserve to longer prison sentences
Despite not being trans can I have a body that does not sound like slowly breaking a fist full of spaghetti when I get out of bed in the morning?
My immedate reaction was to imagine the sound of cooked spaghetti.
Was wondering why a wet slapping sound would be undesirable first thing in the morning.
I regret that train of thought…
I can feel the grimace from “breaking a fist full of spaghetti” from the denizens of Pastaland all the way up here in northern EU
i have a conspiracy hypothesis that many restaurants break the pasta without telling people because people prefer it without even knowing
Nah theyre just short staffed in pit and the only pots left are too small
Have you tried a hot bath?
I’d need a water bed to have one before getting out of it.
At first I imagined cooked spaghetti and I was very confused.
Wet sloppy noises
Don’t forget about the hilarious anti trans closeted trans people who will now have to face reality
I know there are anti-gay people who are secretly gay, but I didn’t know the phenomenon extended to trans folk.
It makes sense it would.
It’s always about denying to others what you deny to yourself.
Oh it’s such a huge thing. Some people suspect Rowling is one of them even
deleted by creator
They actually put that in a cartoon? And I don’t mean the sex change thing, I mean the salt shaker joke.
What joke?
You tell someone “If you stick Your tongue out and pretend to shake salt on it You’ll feel a salty taste”, then they try it out and do the motion of jerking someone off and catching cum in their mouth.
Probably having someone do the motion of shaking some salt on their tongue. Go try it out in front of a mirror and you’ll see.
Damn maybe I gotta watch Johnny Test. What episode is that?
This would also be extra funny when turbo closeted biggots get affected too.
Someone will want a body made of antimatter and the earth is gone.
Hell yeah! It would be a vast improvement.
I don’t, Earth is like the only plannet we know has life, that’s so unique ans special, how can ylu throw that away? For what? To kill 1 specie ? I mean they will probably kill all others and that but I would rather take my chances.
Nothing special about life. It’s made up of the same stuff as the rest of the universe. The relatively slow-to-dissipate eddies in the entropy gradient will eventually return to the same equilibrium as the surrounding space given enough time. All this angst and turmoil just doesn’t seem worth it. Hit the big reset button and let the universe try again.
Don’t threaten me with a good time
I’ll use my newfound body to protect my brother’s, sisters and everyone in-between.
Only question is how do I get out of my house now that I’m a heavily armed attack helicopter. My fucking rotor blades are stuck in my dam drywall like it’s the fucking backrooms.
What if everyone gets the body they really want but it ends up in the trunk of your car instead?
I know what I want then
CEOs: audible gulp
Found the genie
oh my gosh! I’m SOME of those! :D a fem-leaning androgynous (but functionally genderless) cybernetic wolfthing with trillions of bodies across the multiverse all subliminally linked to the same consciousness!
Cool!
wake up as an apache attack helicopter
Yes, yeeees, YEEEEEEES! BRATATATATATATA
Dude condemns himself to starving during a global fuel supply crisis for the sake of a decades old joke, news at 11
I’m sorry I can’t hear you over my M230 30mm Chain Guns
Give it a minute or two. After you piss away the ammo and see the sticker shock to re-up, it will be nice and quiet.
I like that you guys assume after I wake up as an attack helicopter I’d just go to my regular day job and then get overwhelmed with my new grocery bill.
Oh no, I can’t fit through my apartment door and my rotors keep shredding through my jackets.
Just gonna drop this little link here:
https://store.steampowered.com/app/1228360/Megacopter_Blades_of_the_Goddess/
Hey real quick, you aren’t making fun of helicopterkin, are you?
We’d be an epic goth fae furry girl 100% and would live it epically
Give every person the body they want and the next day you will have tons of bigoted trans haters running around as the opposite sex.
I feel boring for the fact I’d mostly just wind up with a more functional body, bigger boobs, being more cis passing, and I have no idea how tall I’d be (it’s a complicated relationship I have with my height)
OwO I get to be a winged hybrid wolf-tiger-fox, with an 11" knotted and barbed cock? And I get to pound my furry friends as their fursona too? I’d actually get a career that I love, while it not feeling like work at all, having submissive cuties ride me like the bull I am? Hell yes.
Knotted i get, but barbed? Even jerking off would be uncomfortable!
Nah, barbs are similar to the system of an erection. It’s not so firm that you become a living sword, so you have enough give for it to be a nice experience. And barbs are usually much smaller than art depicts.
I used to date a tiger for a few years (hence the tiger hybrid addition, lots of wonderful memories that I wanted to encapsulate) and so I have it on very good authority how they feel ;3. Also I have a huge thing for feline furs, funny how that happens…
Do you have any depiction of how such a cutie creature would look? For scientific purposes, of course
It could be anything, but I’m basic and those around me that I have had the pleasure of pouncing on are furry, mostly vulpines, canines, felines, and dragons. And while I initially prefer slender males and androgynous individuals, I am also demi and so anyone who catches my attention and interest can be considered cute.
My only ‘requirement’ I guess you can call it is bring a fur… Though that isn’t an absolute. But I haven’t dated or got freaky with anyone not furry in 20 years. The bubble of the fandom, while small, is far more welcoming than the general population.
But a mostly-naughty ‘ideal’ cutie? Slender, male(ish, maybe), rather hung, uncut, geeky, loves cuddling, loves getting freaky frequently, shares a couple of my interests (automotive, tech, drones, finances…), is sweet and affectionate but can be assertive and commanding when we are alone (I have a service top thing now and then), is okay with bringing others into our bedroom (not a ton, but some), and doesn’t mind my baggage (disabled, emotional scars, trust issues, horrendous self-confidence). Basically, an intelligent and good looking guy* who I share both ideas and projects, as well as bodily fluids with, and that I can fall asleep with feelings safe and genuinely cared for (sharing the same, of course). I don’t feel like I have a lot to give (my master says otherwise, but) but if I get attached I’ll give them the world, as much as I can.
That’s what I look for in my ‘cuties’ :3
Ooh cool you’re a therian?
I’m not that far along, kinda on the fence between ‘I’m human but my sona is adorable’ and ‘I really want to be my sona for the rest of my life’. I do follow and support the Freedom of Form Foundation for several years now, which is furs that are way smarter than me in science and research trying to, very slowly, make actual furries possible by adjusting the human body to one’s sona creature. They have recently done deep-dives on fur, scales, and tails. Maybe I’ll get to see their labor before I die; it’s very slow but exciting.
But in the hypothetical, if I woke up as my sona, it would definitely be a positive event.
E: and I’ve been a fur for 22 years and counting, so I definitely know I’d be happy. Me as I am is very meh. At least with my sona, I would be as I see myself.
I also have a lot of respect for the FFF, but I think there’s a faster way. The FFF is focusing on physical technologies. I think we need more mental technologies. Technologies built out of ideas, which work on our minds to change our perceptions. Technologies which can let us feel our preferred bodies, and perceive others’ preferred bodies.
