I’ll start.

We had great chemistry but different goals. She was religious and looking to marry and thought she could change me, a non-religious person who intends to remain unmarried and childless. I was up front about the lack of religion and the lack of desire for marriage. She was not up front about her intent to change me.

After two months of regular flings she told me we couldn’t see each other anymore, because she wanted someone to go to church with, it was my fault she was living a sinful life (totally), and she was cheating on me with another dude was a Christian.

  • ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    12·
    6 天前

    I broke up with my ex because I felt like she would always structure her life so that her job and other things she felt like she had a duty to do took up most of her time and she didn’t have much left for me. But it looks like I made a mistake, because almost two years later I still don’t want to try dating anyone else. She doesn’t want me back. Whoops.

    (I think that if she had been the one who broke up with me, I would have tried to move on, but because I broke up with her, changed my mind, and then got turned down, something in my brain is stuck somehow. It seems like I’ve bricked my love life.)

      • ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        2·
        5 天前

        That’s what people are telling me, but it just doesn’t feel right. I’m not sure how to explain - it’s not that I think I could only ever have loved my ex, but rather that when I get lonely (and I do a lot) I always focus on the past and mistakes I made. I don’t seem to have anything in me that’s forward-looking and open to new things. It’s a little like how I feel about getting a new dog, now that I think about it. After my dog died three years ago, I really expected that I would mourn and then get another one, but while I really miss having a dog, I find that I don’t want a new dog. It feels like the tree was cut down but the stump is still there and there’s no room for something else to grow, so to speak.