It’s not even necessarily a negative thing. My parents were quite functional caregivers and role models despite this fact. They held each other in only the highest respect.
the corrosion of two personalty that reshape each other until they’re incompatible, I guess. but also a lot of dysfunction. I got so good at being a grey rock in the face of their exciting need to be excited by constantly fighting that they got bored of trying to get a reaction out of me and I got tired of the panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. Anyway, separation has been nice, but having kids means you’re locked into a kind of relationship that necessitates mutual good faith cooperation so it’s a nightmare. REALLY don’t have kids with people you haven’t lived with first for several years. 6mo whirlwind relationships are a bad place to invest the next 20+ years of your life, also, you can’t out run, out think, or recognize your truama, you are you, and you can’t not you. therapy early and often.
oof. Glad I dodged that bullet. She broke up with me less than a year after I proposed. After time and separation, I realized how fucking bad that relationship was
meh … lots of married people don’t love each other either.
I’m married, I know a bunch of married people, and I honestly don’t love even MOST of them.
It’s not even necessarily a negative thing. My parents were quite functional caregivers and role models despite this fact. They held each other in only the highest respect.
married 17 years, can confirm.
But…why?
the corrosion of two personalty that reshape each other until they’re incompatible, I guess. but also a lot of dysfunction. I got so good at being a grey rock in the face of their exciting need to be excited by constantly fighting that they got bored of trying to get a reaction out of me and I got tired of the panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. Anyway, separation has been nice, but having kids means you’re locked into a kind of relationship that necessitates mutual good faith cooperation so it’s a nightmare. REALLY don’t have kids with people you haven’t lived with first for several years. 6mo whirlwind relationships are a bad place to invest the next 20+ years of your life, also, you can’t out run, out think, or recognize your truama, you are you, and you can’t not you. therapy early and often.
oof. Glad I dodged that bullet. She broke up with me less than a year after I proposed. After time and separation, I realized how fucking bad that relationship was