I’m beginning to accept that I may never be in a relationship again. There are life expectations I have for myself, some admittedly selfish, but really, the idea of having to deal with another grownup who is as obstinate as I am has left me disillusioned about relationships. But I want to have kids. I want to be a father. For women, its fairy easy, go to a sperm bank, pick your choice, get the procedure done and you are on your way. What is the process for dudes? I believe its going to involve a surrogate, but where does one get a donor egg and what not? I am not looking to have a relationship with an egg donor or the surrogate, just me and the kids.
If you can’t deal with an adult partner, dealing with kids might not be so great for you either.
Ya, buddy. With an Adult you are dealing with another human who sometimes can be an asshole, dick, bitch, bastard, cunt , or whatever.
A kid is all those things without every giving a fuck. If you have problems with adults, you definitely will be in hell with a kid.
Nah, kids are innocent 5ill teens. All us grown ups can go fuck ourselves, we’re all set in our ways older we grow, some are grouchy fucks others are well depends where ya live USA, I trust no one other than my kids no other adults
Innocent? Buddy, my 6 yr old is the most ruthless person I know. He’ll circumvent either his mother or I depending on what he wants.
Innocent no. Aware of their actions and what consequences may come? Nah. They don’t give a fuck. It’s why we teach em right and wrong.
Had given this thought and it actually comes from here. Due to unforseen circumstances, I’ve been helping raise 3 kids for the last couple of years and I’m currently listed as their guardian. I’ve been involved with everything from diapers to after school stuff. I’m talking 85%+ of their time and needs comes from me. We went to the county a couple of years ago, to formalise some processes, and I’m now basically recognized.
However, as this situation is coming to an end, probably in a couple of months, I found it enjoyable, despite the stresses. One thing I’ve learnt about kids is that they generally don’t have malice in their intent, while adults scheme and plot. Sure, we have had bad days and tempers have flared, but had it not been this situation ending, I would have done this thing all the way through. Given my extremely soft-landing as a parent, I realized I want more of it. Kids change you. Its weird.
. No reason to make a new kid when there are kids out there who need help. Start as a foster parent and work from there.
Probable. Likely.
“Just adopt” is typically advice given by people who have never had to seriously research adoption.
All options given in this thread will an absolutely absurd reductions of what would be several hundred pages of serious discourse.
Throwing out side comment as you did adds nothing to the discourse at all.
You can easily have an hour conversation on adoption and only break the surface.
Adoption is going to be hard depending on the state you are from. Where I’m from the state will basically hand you a kid for foster care, but make it a multi year legal struggle to adopt that child even if the birth parents relinquish rights
The comments here aren’t to solve some strangers problems but provide some solace in what is obvious a hard time in their life. Being involved and kids wanting one and yet not having a relationship is a super rough place to be in. Being reminded there are options may be enough.
If they wanted real answers there are much more focused places than Lemmy to get information. Sometime people just need to not be alone.
The whole point of this post was OP asking how to become a father without a partner. That’s basically his only option
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You really think women aren’t judged for being a single mother?
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Rightfully so! Most of them have killed their wives anyway.
/s
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When I’m out by myself with the kiddo I don’t feel judged at all. If anything some people compliment me on it, which feels like being complimented for not being neglectful but I’ll take it.
It feels dangerous to play or even talk with other people’s kids though, but that’s a different thing.
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Why this gets downvoted? It’s true we get different judgements by different people. As a father I’ve been judged for so much shit you wouldn’t believe. Hell recently I had a Karen ask my why I gone to an anime convention with my daughter and if the mother knows. Bitch she is 14 and we both like anime wtf?