majestic guy@lemmy.world to memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 month agoPrioritieslemmy.worldimagemessage-square53fedilinkarrow-up1643arrow-down110
arrow-up1633arrow-down1imagePrioritieslemmy.worldmajestic guy@lemmy.world to memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 month agomessage-square53fedilink
minus-squareGreenKnight23@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up19arrow-down1·1 month agobecause in the US you can’t kill yourself. if you try and fail you’ll be charged with a crime. corpses don’t generate profit. you will work until you die of “natural causes”.
minus-squarenightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyzlinkfedilinkarrow-up7·1 month agoFortunately, suicide by cop is a sure thing. Point a pencil in their direction and they’ll empty a clip on you.
minus-square[deleted]@piefed.worldlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up7·1 month agoTheir aim sucks though, so have fun recovering in the ER where they won’t let you die.
minus-squareEcho Dot@feddit.uklinkfedilinkarrow-up3·edit-21 month agoJust don’t attempt to assassinate the president. Or else you risk getting arrested and having your shirt taken off, it’s all just a really uncomfortable interaction and not worth it.
minus-squaresome_kind_of_guy@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up1·1 month agoStill fine to go get the TV, though, yeah? I’m trying to complete my home theatre setup
minus-squareREDACTED@infosec.publinkfedilinkarrow-up2arrow-down1·edit-21 month agoBecause commenter above feels like it
Wait, why?
because in the US you can’t kill yourself. if you try and fail you’ll be charged with a crime.
corpses don’t generate profit. you will work until you die of “natural causes”.
Fortunately, suicide by cop is a sure thing. Point a pencil in their direction and they’ll empty a clip on you.
Their aim sucks though, so have fun recovering in the ER where they won’t let you die.
Just don’t attempt to assassinate the president. Or else you risk getting arrested and having your shirt taken off, it’s all just a really uncomfortable interaction and not worth it.
Still fine to go get the TV, though, yeah? I’m trying to complete my home theatre setup
Because commenter above feels like it