My dad is turning 36 in April, and quite a few of my friends (I’m 18, for reference) say that he doesn’t “act his age.” By that, they mean he posts a lot on Instagram (especially daily Stories where he vlogs his life, lol), he’s trendy and very open-minded, works out and takes great care of himself so he looks hot, and he’s really into nightlife and partying. He’s also very adventurous and just a fun guy in general. They don’t think it’s a bad thing at all - in fact, they think it’s cool. But it got me wondering: how is a 36-year-old supposed to act? lol
I have one single criteria for defining an adult.
That is:
“To be an adult you need to understand when it is appropriate to be childish”
If he does that, then there is no problem.
and he’s really into nightlife and partying.
Everything else I wouldn’t blink at, but I would wonder what kind of places Dad likes to party at.
Old for what? shuffle board?
Your dad had you waaaay too young
Old? 36? When I was 36 I could still stand up without my joints making a noise like glass shattering.
My dad was 45 when he had me, yours was 18. I had the opposite experience because my parents were so much older than my friends’ parents. I think that’s the biggest part of what you’re seeing: your dad is just younger than your friends’ dads.
But to your broader question, there is no way a person is “supposed to act” at a given age, but there are some norms. For instance, a lot of folks who party a lot in their teens and twenties get bored with that at some point. Also, working to earn a living to feed the family often leaves people more with out and preferring something quiet at home to going out with a bunch of people.
I hope 36 isn’t old. I’m about to turn 40.
It’s young for an adult, old for a child, while 60+ is just old, period.
There is no “acting your age”, there are only stereotypes, expectations and some people who are afraid acting out of those.
I can’t say as I’m in my late 50 and still watch cartoons. Do what makes you happy and fuck acting your age.
Watching cartoons, if not done excessively, is just whimsical and largely innocuous. Going out and partying hard regularly when you’re raising children is not.
What’s considered excessive?
Cuz there’s a lot of really amazing animated stuff out there these days that’s definitely not for kids, and some people, myself included, prefer it over live action.
For me it’s largely because a “meh” voice talent is far better than a “meh” live-action talent, since you can’t see them. Animation is also lovely for people with prosopagnosia (face blindness) because animated characters usually look wildly different in easy to notice ways.
I don’t disagree, I’m a big fan of ATLA, for instance, and Legend of the Galactic Heroes, Berserk, NGE, and many others. And movies like Memories, Redline, Vampire Hunter D, Akira… But it’s important not to get lost in media consumption and lose track of things that are (and should be perceived as) more important in life, that’s all I meant. I’m not even that good at not getting lost, I’m just saying it’s important to keep it in mind.
According to Pokemon he is decrepit.
That’s not Pokemon is it? Looks more like a Mega Man Battle Network or Star Force game.
As an avid Pokémon and Mega Man Battle Network player, it is for sure Mega Man.
I would imagine your friends are used to their parents acting older and/or more mature because they are older. He’s probably just a completely different generation from your friends parents.
It’s also common for people who have a child at such a young age to have their maturity stunted. He didn’t get to finish out his youth like his peers so he’s still grasping for it. When his friends were out partying at the age of 21 he was trying to support a toddler.
Other than taking care of himself, and meeting his familial and financial obligations and responsibilities, there’s no way a 36 year old is “supposed” to behave. Though it’s hard to tell as you may have painted a portrait through rose colored glasses.
However the heck you want.
Im similar age and I play video games daily (mostly classic consoles but newer oc stuff sometimes) play in multiple bands, run around outside and build rc car tracks if im bored and its not -20 degrees. There’s no rules.
When you stop playing, you get old.
And if other people turn their noses up at you, theyre likely jealous.
Sometimes they just think you lead a hedonistic, pointless and aimless life. You can’t just do and mostly focus on the same things you were doing 10, 20, 30 years ago and consider yourself developmentally all there either, right? Wouldn’t you just be a child with back issues and gray hair? 😔
A lifes only pointless if you make it that way. We’re all gonna die, so im gonna live life the way I want (while respecting others of course).
To be fair also, 20 years ago I couldn’t afford any of the “toys” I have now, so I enjoy them as I had always wanted to. I love being transported to 1991 when I turn on my Genesis.
Is someone at a dead end job with 5 kids growing up in a crumbling world leading a better life? To them, maybe, and they can do what they want. I only hope they teach their children not to hate.
Now I also have real project cars and house projects “adulty” shit, but really thats all just playing disguised as adult. Painting a room or putting new wheels on your car isnt necessary, its all (more expensive) play.
Now its also good to give back to the community. I kind of do that through my full time job already, basically keeping the Infrastructure that makes your food up and running, so I consider that a good thing. Id like to volunteer too but im kind of an introvert that way and its hard to find the time between work.
That and generally not being an asshole and being a tolerant (of everyone except nazis) person, thats my goal in life. Its not lofty, but I like where im at.
A life is pointless when it’s meaningless, and pleasure doesn’t provide meaning. Maybe being distracted by banal things until death is enough to make your life worthwhile but idk, it isn’t for me. And much of the world doesn’t think death is the end (I know, I know, that’s for morons and whatnot, but it’s still a reality), and have that in mind when making decisions as they don’t want to disappoint God/go to Hell/be reincarnated into that patch of hair that grows around one’s anus/etc. Maybe the idea that life is whatever and then you die is behind this wave of hedonistic nihilism? Whether it’s true or not, it’s definitely not helpful when building a community (old men planting trees, and this applies even if you believe there’s nothing after death if you have some prosociality in you). Regardless, I do commend you for your part in making the world a better place, I thank you for not being an asshole (God knows this world already has too many!), and I hope I wasn’t too hurtful/offensive with my words here and you took them with the same positive spirit that they were given. I don’t just yap to annoy people, I yap to try to wake them up, but everyone knows sleeping is comfier. 🤷
Nope I get it. My outlook is pretty well grounded in the “for i was dead before I was born” outlook (Mark Twain I believe), and multiple readings of the book The Power of Now. That book is seriously life changing and far better than any popular religious text could be in my opinion. I believe if the world could leave behind their preconceived beliefs and practice whats written in that book there would be a massive shift to peace.
I also should have made more clear. While I love my stuff (I am a maximalist by nature), I of course love family (and my dogs) the most. I also have just always been a person who enjoys being alone a lot too and finds that the world and humanity who came before us have given us so much so there is unlimited things to explore and experience, and no rules to what you can do unless you impart them on yourself.
I see a lot of hate and anger around me against people who have done nothing but exist, and its really hard to understand. Clearly these hateful people weren’t brought up to just be nice. Of course the rise of facism requires us to stand up for the rights of humanity as well, so being passive all the time can also be wrong.
Your dad is a millennial (and it appears he had you when he was just 18 as well), so he’s more in touch with technology and social media. As an older millennial as well, I feel like my generation definitely acts younger than gen x and boomers when they were my age. Your friends’ parents are probably in those generations, and your dad is just young in relation to your age.
That’s bullshit people in their ~30’s tell other people in their ~30’s. I’ve always been the same and done the same things. For example, in my late 20’s, 30’s, if someone saw me skateboarding, they’d tell me to act my age. In my 40’s it was a cool curiosity, and in my 50’s it’s inspirational.
When people put others down and tell them to act their age, its a “them” problem. It’s their hangups, insecurities, and jealousy showing, not the person living their life.
Yep. I’m almost 40 and still ride shopping carts through the parking lot. I climb on stuff, I jump around, I sit on the bare floor. People look at me funny and I smile and wave. I get visibly excited for things like riding the subway (not from an area with good public transit), or figuring out how novel things I see work. It’s fun. Life -should- be fun. Being a “mature adult” is boring and I don’t want to do it just because some crusty old shit says I should.
Social norms and stigmas for inconsequential behavior are silly. Are you happy? Are you hurting anyone? If yes and no respectively, you win life!
Beats me. I just turned 44 and I typically spend my weekends smoking weed and playing Xbox. 🤷🏻♂️
Hey fellow 44 Xbox stoner, do you also like music?
My jams are 90s & 00s Alternative & Hard Rock, but I’ve been listening to a lot of classical and video game soundtrack music at work. Been playing Vampire Survivors lately and the OST is bangin!
Oh if you like old people music then you just ask an old person… Like myself. But I’m mostly metal and hard rock.
Seven Mary Three…
I’m honestly excited cuz I just found Decapitated on bandcamp. One of my favorite technical death metal bands from the early 2000s.
That just means you’re not an adult, not that you’re not old. And I’m saying that as a 58-year old.
