I was an anxious doomer all the time until I went to therapy. Something they said stuck with me.
The world is not binary, it is not going to be the best case or the worst case. Out of a range of infinite outcomes, focusing on the worst case scenario doesn’t make sense as probability says it won’t happen. What will likely happen is somewhere in that area between best and worst.
Eh they said it better, I’m having trouble remembering exactly. Point is, doomer’ing is a waste of time because it probably won’t happen.
One that got me in the 2010’s were the “Water wars”. People told me constantly only a few more years and we’ll all be at war! I legit had panic nightmares about it. Climate change worries me, and it set off anxiety. Turns out the doomers were wrong then, and continue to be wrong. Will it happen? It might. It might not. It’s impossible to know, but focusing on the worst case scenario is a waste of time.
It’s easy saying everything is going to hell, and to some it makes them feel better. It’s much harder to accept the weird grey area we continue to live in that’s neither good nor bad. So, if you’re like me and things like this immediately spring up a fear response, carry that with you, and focus on you the individual. Maybe this will be the year you get that promotion, or a new job, or start a new hobby, or meet the special someone.
It took me way to long to realize how I fucked my psyche by consuming all the apocalyptic nightmare movies, tv shows, books and videogames and of course the endless doom and gloom in the news.
When full anxiety takes over it’s very hard to go outside and just live normally, I was definitely like that. I had to look up movies ahead of time to see if they were apocalyptic and if they’d be triggering. They still are a bit, but I can enjoy things again. It’s absolutely a thing that Hollywood and big media loves playing up the end of the world and playing on those anxieties.
Agreed. I think if it’s not literally save the world they think it won’t sell, when some of the best movies I’ve seen this year have revolver mostly around personal relationships. Love, drama, tension. There are millions of stories out there that are ready for the big screen, they just don’t involve the end of the world so Hollywood doesn’t seem interested.
Guess that’s why my money keeps going to A24 and my indie theater.
I have a similar story with anxiety and I got mostly rid of it in steps, including therapy. I wish more people realized feeling constant worry about the world is not normal.
It’s not that the world is doing great, but that you or me worrying about it doesn’t have any benefit, so it’s unnecessary. We can’t control everything, so we should focus on what we can.
E.g. I live in the EU, so I didn’t vote for or against Trump. His crazyness does affect my life, but I literally cannot affect his behaviour in any way. So no need to obsess over it - I might roll my eyes over some headlines, but that’s it. I remember when I felt devastated in 2016 after he was first elected, and I felt paralyzed with fear and the lack of control I have. I’m so happy I’m not at that mental place anymore.
And again, I’m not gaslighting myself that the world is perfect. I’m accepting I can’t control everything, and focus my attention on the things I control in my life, and stop constant worrying on the million things I was anxious about. It’s very hatd to explain, took a lot of introspection and some therapy, but it’s possible. Therapist said I had general anxiety disorder (GAD) that I developed due to my mother’s constant negativeness and worrying. Now when I talk to her it’s so obvious, but I never realized it back then. Interesting how big an impact our childhood has on even those of us, who are lucky with regular middle-class upbringing.
Interesting, mine also came from my parents, I guess that’s more common than I thought!
I think 2016 is when it started for me too actually, and it was probably because of the upward trajectory we were on that then became obvious that we werent, at least not how I thought it would be, and I had to learn to cope with that
I mean, hopefully to bring perspective, the water wars are happening now. People are fighting corporations who are draining the aquifers for alphalpha and such to send abroad, there are faucets running dry and everything
It’s not going to be mad Max… These problems still exist and are on track, but they way they present themselves is as a slow burning down of the infrastructure that our country is built upon
The people will remain. There will be hard times, we will have to come together to solve problems. We might have to relocate as areas become untenable
There will be unrest and disorder, but not mass murder. We just don’t have it in us without years of indoctrination and drug use
Very well said. The new brings us everything bad and only weird feel good moments. I argue you can be completely informed and not watch the news. When someone tells me they’re anxious about the world, most of the time they watch the news regularly. Their business depends on you being glued to your screen, and anxiety does that well for them.
I had a partner who was convinced we were in a perpetual state of being weeks away from losing access to water. We lived in Seattle… Fear is often really illogical and it can be difficult to step away from it
(Sorry if this posts twice phone is acting weird)
Healthy preparedness is having a few gallons of water on hand and having a filter ready. Being constantly afraid of losing water is fear. I hope they are now able to cope
Doomscrolling and commenting in echo chambers is not engagement, it’s the way the system traps you. Being merry at Christmas, then helping your neighbour and building community so that you can set a mansion on fire together is engagement.
Jokes aside though, let’s say you live in Europe (this is a European platform, so let’s default to that). Here is the way to get engaged:
https://citizens-initiative.europa.eu/
Look at the Stop Killing Games initiative. You can do what that guy did. If you don’t feel that you can shoulder that level of engagement, then just get your ID, go through the list on the website, and sign the petitions you think are worthy. Takes almost zero effort, zero money and it makes a difference since these are legally binding petitions. Tell your friends, coworkers and family too.
Then go find out what political parties are campaigning around you, find one that is closest to your vision of society, and help their activists trudge through the snow to get people out to vote next time. Or if you don’t feel like trudging through snow yourself, just brew a bunch of hot tea and take it out to them to make them feel supported.
Go join an union.
Or go volunteer, or at least donate to an organisation that does something good. Put your time or money into something worthwhile. You can plant a tree or buy a combat drone, depending on your priorities, but everyone is taking donations, and every little bit helps.
You can acknowledge that shit’s fucked, and still be happy in your community. In fact, building and sharing that happiness is the biggest way you can help stop this. The people doing this, and the people supporting them are not happy people, and one of the biggest reasons they are doing this are because they are not happy people.
Defeatism helps no one, but it would be nice if people, once in a while, recognized the scale and severity of the multiple problems humanity is facing without being dismissed as doomers. Organizing to solve problems doesn’t work if you can’t name them.
I think climate change is a good example where it’s not socially acceptable to discuss the problem in terms that capture the severity or the small margins there are for effective actions. Much effective actions against climate change are not ”politically realistic” (eg banning animal farming, eliminating private car ownership, building railways, walkable cities, redistribution of resources). Thus, to not be put in the doomer box, you basically have to subscribe to the ”realistic” option of tech optimism (ie, we will be saved by continuing to burn more oil because it will lead to unimaginable breakthroughs that make us unaccountable to the laws of physics).
I’m exaggerating, but I think you get the gist. The the demand that discussions to be ”constructive” takes a lot of the most realistic options off the table in favor of protecting the status quo at all cost. I’m less worried about overt climate deniers at this point – at least they don’t confuse the issue – but more of the neo liberal climate ”believers” that insist on doing nothing or deferring doing something, lest it disturb the oil or auto industries.
If solving climate change keeps coming in the guise of chopping down rain forests to build highways to make it easier for oil people to get from their private jets at the airport to making deals while schmoozing with the political elites, then doomerism is the only rational take on the issue.
Commenting and doomering is not being engaged. Interesting you assume I am not because I’m not a doomer. You should probably self reflect on those feelings.
Awareness is not doomerism. I’m plenty aware of everything going on. It also doesn’t mean that I’m here saying the world is shit and going to shit and that everyone should feel miserable.
Drop the word doomerism. It is meaningless and unhelpful. At most it it used by the emotionally stunted who can’t accept negative feelings to negative stimuli. Its a derision for those who like to put lipstick on pigs and go dancing.
It also doesn’t mean that I’m here saying the world is shit and going to shit and that everyone should feel miserable.
The world is lovely, getting better every day and we should all feel happy and proud of what we’ve accomplished! /s
Or maybe it’s the year of WW3, nuclear fallout, war and terrorism everywhere, famine, bigotry, racism and hate. Your advice is essentially that we’re overreacting… jfc! I’m so angry.
I was an anxious doomer all the time until I went to therapy. Something they said stuck with me.
Eh they said it better, I’m having trouble remembering exactly. Point is, doomer’ing is a waste of time because it probably won’t happen.
One that got me in the 2010’s were the “Water wars”. People told me constantly only a few more years and we’ll all be at war! I legit had panic nightmares about it. Climate change worries me, and it set off anxiety. Turns out the doomers were wrong then, and continue to be wrong. Will it happen? It might. It might not. It’s impossible to know, but focusing on the worst case scenario is a waste of time.
It’s easy saying everything is going to hell, and to some it makes them feel better. It’s much harder to accept the weird grey area we continue to live in that’s neither good nor bad. So, if you’re like me and things like this immediately spring up a fear response, carry that with you, and focus on you the individual. Maybe this will be the year you get that promotion, or a new job, or start a new hobby, or meet the special someone.
Syria was a water war.
It started after farming collapsed in the drought and the farmers started the revolt.
There’s still going to be wars over resources like water (and now the oil again, for no apparent reason that isn’t power hungry distraction tactics).
Nearly all wars are about resources.
It took me way to long to realize how I fucked my psyche by consuming all the apocalyptic nightmare movies, tv shows, books and videogames and of course the endless doom and gloom in the news.
Optimism is in short supply nowadays sigh
When full anxiety takes over it’s very hard to go outside and just live normally, I was definitely like that. I had to look up movies ahead of time to see if they were apocalyptic and if they’d be triggering. They still are a bit, but I can enjoy things again. It’s absolutely a thing that Hollywood and big media loves playing up the end of the world and playing on those anxieties.
Hollywood also does it because they have no idea of raising the stakes in films besides “we have to save the world”
They have no clue how to write a relatable story anymore or how to imbue importance into everyday things like Studio Ghibli does.
Agreed. I think if it’s not literally save the world they think it won’t sell, when some of the best movies I’ve seen this year have revolver mostly around personal relationships. Love, drama, tension. There are millions of stories out there that are ready for the big screen, they just don’t involve the end of the world so Hollywood doesn’t seem interested.
Guess that’s why my money keeps going to A24 and my indie theater.
I have a similar story with anxiety and I got mostly rid of it in steps, including therapy. I wish more people realized feeling constant worry about the world is not normal.
It’s not that the world is doing great, but that you or me worrying about it doesn’t have any benefit, so it’s unnecessary. We can’t control everything, so we should focus on what we can.
E.g. I live in the EU, so I didn’t vote for or against Trump. His crazyness does affect my life, but I literally cannot affect his behaviour in any way. So no need to obsess over it - I might roll my eyes over some headlines, but that’s it. I remember when I felt devastated in 2016 after he was first elected, and I felt paralyzed with fear and the lack of control I have. I’m so happy I’m not at that mental place anymore.
And again, I’m not gaslighting myself that the world is perfect. I’m accepting I can’t control everything, and focus my attention on the things I control in my life, and stop constant worrying on the million things I was anxious about. It’s very hatd to explain, took a lot of introspection and some therapy, but it’s possible. Therapist said I had general anxiety disorder (GAD) that I developed due to my mother’s constant negativeness and worrying. Now when I talk to her it’s so obvious, but I never realized it back then. Interesting how big an impact our childhood has on even those of us, who are lucky with regular middle-class upbringing.
Interesting, mine also came from my parents, I guess that’s more common than I thought!
I think 2016 is when it started for me too actually, and it was probably because of the upward trajectory we were on that then became obvious that we werent, at least not how I thought it would be, and I had to learn to cope with that
Thanks for sharing your story
I mean, hopefully to bring perspective, the water wars are happening now. People are fighting corporations who are draining the aquifers for alphalpha and such to send abroad, there are faucets running dry and everything
It’s not going to be mad Max… These problems still exist and are on track, but they way they present themselves is as a slow burning down of the infrastructure that our country is built upon
The people will remain. There will be hard times, we will have to come together to solve problems. We might have to relocate as areas become untenable
There will be unrest and disorder, but not mass murder. We just don’t have it in us without years of indoctrination and drug use
Yeah, we are fed news to make us sad an angry all day. And we come here to comments to get more sad and more angry.
The world is not as it seems here in the Lemmy comment section though, not even close. You can most definitely still be happy, and you should be.
Very well said. The new brings us everything bad and only weird feel good moments. I argue you can be completely informed and not watch the news. When someone tells me they’re anxious about the world, most of the time they watch the news regularly. Their business depends on you being glued to your screen, and anxiety does that well for them.
I had a partner who was convinced we were in a perpetual state of being weeks away from losing access to water. We lived in Seattle… Fear is often really illogical and it can be difficult to step away from it (Sorry if this posts twice phone is acting weird)
Healthy preparedness is having a few gallons of water on hand and having a filter ready. Being constantly afraid of losing water is fear. I hope they are now able to cope
Thank you, it helped.
Old mate: Even hell has layers.
My interpretation: Whether things get better or worse, if we react well then it will help.
There are water wars though…
Haha, check the water levels of the aquifers in the US. It’s not the kind of war you envisioned, but it is a war and we are losing.
Way to normalize dystopia. Shit’s fucked. You should not be happy. You should be engaged.
Yeah, but doomerism doesn’t help engagement.
Doomscrolling and commenting in echo chambers is not engagement, it’s the way the system traps you. Being merry at Christmas, then helping your neighbour and building community so that you can set a mansion on fire together is engagement.
Jokes aside though, let’s say you live in Europe (this is a European platform, so let’s default to that). Here is the way to get engaged: https://citizens-initiative.europa.eu/
Look at the Stop Killing Games initiative. You can do what that guy did. If you don’t feel that you can shoulder that level of engagement, then just get your ID, go through the list on the website, and sign the petitions you think are worthy. Takes almost zero effort, zero money and it makes a difference since these are legally binding petitions. Tell your friends, coworkers and family too.
Then go find out what political parties are campaigning around you, find one that is closest to your vision of society, and help their activists trudge through the snow to get people out to vote next time. Or if you don’t feel like trudging through snow yourself, just brew a bunch of hot tea and take it out to them to make them feel supported.
Go join an union.
Or go volunteer, or at least donate to an organisation that does something good. Put your time or money into something worthwhile. You can plant a tree or buy a combat drone, depending on your priorities, but everyone is taking donations, and every little bit helps.
You can acknowledge that shit’s fucked, and still be happy in your community. In fact, building and sharing that happiness is the biggest way you can help stop this. The people doing this, and the people supporting them are not happy people, and one of the biggest reasons they are doing this are because they are not happy people.
Defeatism helps no one, but it would be nice if people, once in a while, recognized the scale and severity of the multiple problems humanity is facing without being dismissed as doomers. Organizing to solve problems doesn’t work if you can’t name them.
Naming problems is okay. Do that. Name them. Try to find solutions. That doesn’t make you a doomer.
Telling other people to not be happy, and be engaged without pointing to a specific problem does.
All I’m saying is that Big Tech and AI bots peddle and foment defeatism. Look at climate change propaganda if nothing else.
I think climate change is a good example where it’s not socially acceptable to discuss the problem in terms that capture the severity or the small margins there are for effective actions. Much effective actions against climate change are not ”politically realistic” (eg banning animal farming, eliminating private car ownership, building railways, walkable cities, redistribution of resources). Thus, to not be put in the doomer box, you basically have to subscribe to the ”realistic” option of tech optimism (ie, we will be saved by continuing to burn more oil because it will lead to unimaginable breakthroughs that make us unaccountable to the laws of physics).
I’m exaggerating, but I think you get the gist. The the demand that discussions to be ”constructive” takes a lot of the most realistic options off the table in favor of protecting the status quo at all cost. I’m less worried about overt climate deniers at this point – at least they don’t confuse the issue – but more of the neo liberal climate ”believers” that insist on doing nothing or deferring doing something, lest it disturb the oil or auto industries.
If solving climate change keeps coming in the guise of chopping down rain forests to build highways to make it easier for oil people to get from their private jets at the airport to making deals while schmoozing with the political elites, then doomerism is the only rational take on the issue.
Commenting and doomering is not being engaged. Interesting you assume I am not because I’m not a doomer. You should probably self reflect on those feelings.
You should reflect on your labeling anything with an ounce of awareness as doomerism. It is weird.
Awareness is not doomerism. I’m plenty aware of everything going on. It also doesn’t mean that I’m here saying the world is shit and going to shit and that everyone should feel miserable.
Drop the word doomerism. It is meaningless and unhelpful. At most it it used by the emotionally stunted who can’t accept negative feelings to negative stimuli. Its a derision for those who like to put lipstick on pigs and go dancing.
The world is lovely, getting better every day and we should all feel happy and proud of what we’ve accomplished! /s
And now you’re just insulting me, so I’m not going to respond further.
Or maybe it’s the year of WW3, nuclear fallout, war and terrorism everywhere, famine, bigotry, racism and hate. Your advice is essentially that we’re overreacting… jfc! I’m so angry.
Or maybe it’as not. Either way, being upset about it isn’t going to stop the bombs if they come.
If your apocalypse comes to pass, then what? You get to feel smug while you die of radiation poisoning?
Work on what you can impact, be aware of the rest, and most importantly don’t worry about what you can’t change.
Could be, of course they’ve been saying that since the 50s too. Maybe time for some self reflection.