Echoing this: If you set out to finds someone directly, more often than not you’re going to have a bad time I think. The most organic way is through self-improvement and a certain inner-peace or contentment with being on your own. Combine this with getting involved in communities of ANY sort that you find comfort or passion in, from a pick-up sports league to DnD group to renaissance festival — whatever. Start finding community, and from there organic connection is bound to occur.

But again, it’s not something you pursue directly but almost always by serendipitous, indirect means.

For me, it was like a flip of the switch. The moment I started to focus on self-improvement and be content with being on my own was the moment I started to be invited to things; which then gave me the confidence to say, “yeah, sure I’ll go.” It was one of these times I met my partner, soul mate, of going on 2 decades.

I’m very much an introvert, and my partner is extremely extroverted. She asked me out on our first date, actually lol.