I’m not suggesting you’re doing it specifically. I’m saying generally if you feel the need to make that distinction in your normal day to day life, you’re almost certainly a sexual predator.

Yeah, if you’re quoting the DSM V to defend yourself as technically not a pedophile, then yes you’ve crossed the rubicon of decency.

This is one of those technical distinctions where if you’re making the distinction, you’re already on the wrong side of everything.

Was he the one who was a piece of shit? Or was that Crick?

Yep, it’s the “probably” that creates the ethics conundrum. We won’t know how to improve the process without testing the process, and we cannot ethically create “test” humans like that scene in Alien Resurrection where all the failed Sigourney clones are sitting in jars, suffering and begging for death.

What? In my metaphor, Democrats are the nets made of sometimes poop, and Republicans are the turds. Was that not clear?

Yeah, sure. Gather the guillotine and meet me in the town square.

Look, if you’re scooping turds out of a punch bowl, and the only tool you have is a net that might be made of turds, then you can either keep scooping or you can throw away the whole bowl of punch. You don’t just give up and drink the punch because it’s all the same. One is a turd in the punchbowl. The other is a mechanism for removing the turds, but it’s also probably a turd. Doing something is still doing something, even if the punch is still shit.

“Is that right? I had heard an alternate theory…”

You’re definitely wrong, and I know more about this than you do.

There were also the control monkeys, who only had the standard Motaba virus.

Plus, being flung from a cage at highway speeds has been clinically proven to have an agitating effect on monkey dispositions.

Right? Like it’s weird so many people are saying “This isn’t what I voted for.” Yes, it is exactly what you voted for.

The fucked up part is that this bill permits the bypass of existing regulations. Wilderness protections already included a process to receive exemptions for critical infrastructure, including security-related improvements. The new bill simply removes the review process and creates a rubber stamp they can use to do whatever they want under the guise of border security, with zero review, oversight, or accountability for abuses.

There have been several high-profile systemic failures in the past few years that give us a glimpse into the hypothetical you’re describing. Most interruptions have lasted mere hours, if not minutes, before causing mass panic and devastating economic catastrophes. Planes are grounded, banks stop operations, global trade shuts down, and hospitals can’t access patient records.

The question isn’t how long before it would be a huge problem. That starts immediately. The better question is, how long before people adapt to a world without the internet? How long would it take to build an alternative?

It’s not rocket surgery.

Stand up with the sheet.

Place your hands inside two adjacent corners so the elastic is at your wrists.

Bring your hands together, folding the sheet in half, and flip one corner over the other hand so that one is tucked in the other.

With your free hand, reach down and gather the other two ends which are not tucked.

Let go of the tucked corners, which will slip apart again.

Curse the gods, and then roll the crumpled mess between your arms until it’s small enough to stuff into a closet or drawer.

Profit.

Fake outrage was funnier when we didn’t have real problems to argue about.

Right? Like, maybe the precursors to cancer reduce libido?

Yeah, but like a four foot turkey with sharp teeth and talons. I’m not sure I win that fight.

Like, I’m pretty sure I could beat up a 10 year old kid. That’s about the size (if not the strength) of a velociraptor. But if that kid is all coked up, has kitchen knives in each hand and a football helmet with razors on the face mask, I’m not nearly as confident. Then if there’s a second one waiting to attack from the flank, then fuck that.

And those are just the ones we know about. Thousands of people have been abducted without due process. We don’t have an accurate record of everyone ICE has assaulted or kidnapped.

Like, imagine a baker hired to bake bread. That baker claims he makes the best bread, using a traditional Grimm’s recipe where he grinds up human bones to make bread. And you think that’s a terrible idea, because there’s no source of human bones that would be not horrifying. But everyone wants him to be the baker, so he starts murdering people to grind their bones to make his bread. And you’re horrified because of all the murder and mutilation, but also the bread is terrible. You can’t bake bread from ground up bonemeal. It’s bad bread. But all the people who wanted him to bake are eating it, insisting through gritted teeth “Mmm, sooo good… You’re just a hater. Are you triggered yet? Yum, delicious.” And you want to scream because none of this is normal or moral or even human, but also it’s just poorly done. The bread is all weird and clumpy, and it’s been burnt on the crust and underbaked in the middle. There’s either too much or not enough salt, and none of it is consistent at all. It’s just the absolute worst bread ever made because the baker is incompetent and evil. And he’s transparently stealing money from the register. But because they love the baker, and they know it bothers you, all the people who voted for him are pretending this isn’t a nightmare collapse of society. They keep eating the bread, dying from the lack of nutrition or basic hygiene, and sometimes their loved ones will be murdered to become the bones that make the bread, and suddenly it’s all terribly unfair but they’d still vote for the guy again.