Knock knock

Who’s there?

Lettuce

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in and you’ll find out!

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?

Because it didn’t have any body to go with

Unfortunately, our local council doesn’t allow having roosters because of the crowing. Hens only.

Been trying for 6 years. Not desperately, but it would be nice. Thinking about getting chickens.

Did anyone watch Liquid Television?

For the drum machine, definitely! But we largely kept to our tempo or maybe double. It was a free gig and we were getting paid in beers. I think it was pretty funny for the audience too. Great night.

I used to sing in a post punk band. We had a drum machine. In the middle of one gig, the drum machine spazzed out and deleted all the internal memory, and started a 600bpm bossa nova loop. We played right through to the end.

American Pie

Ignorance is strength

Do you know where your local terrorist cell is hiding? Surely the Mossad can figure all that out without murdering civilians?

Also, pretty ironic of you to lump left wing nut jobs together as one group…

PhD in Quackery

If that’s the case, then people with the new brains should have their sex organs harvested.

The US election system is set up for the rich and powerful to stay in charge. It’s ridiculous that there’s effectively only two parties, and it’s ridiculous that a single person, the president, holds so much power. No accountability. Their system needs an entire overhaul, IMO:

Compulsory voting Ease of access for voting Preferential voting Lower bar for running, meaning every citizen has the opportunity to run

And who will decide what is good and bad behaviour? Hmm? And what advantage will society as a whole get from this?

Nope. Depends on the parent. I still got beat up in the 80s/90s for closing the door too loudly, hitting my brother, waking mum up from an afternoon nap etc. It stopped when I was 17 because I was big enough to hit back (though I never did).