MerryJaneDoe

If the relationship is worth salvaging, you can meet her halfway. It will take a LOT of work on your part. A lot of compromise. You’ll probably end up feeling suffocated and you’ll probably lie to her a lot, to make her feel better.

“Mom, I want to do better by you. I want you to be proud of me. I’m not saying I believe everything in the Bible, but I want to ask you some things. About sin and God. I’m not promising to change, but I promise to keep an open mind.”

Something like that. Then, for topic, ask her to describe a situation where she felt sinful, and exactly what she did to avoid it.

Basically, you are putting her in a position to be a mentor but ONLY if she shows vulnerability and shares with you her weaknesses. This changes the dynamic of your relationship, puts you on equal footing. Now she is a sinner too.

Most likely, if she takes the bait, she will tell you about a very small sin. “Oh, I wanted to slap that cashier, but I prayed and God took all the violence away from me.”

Start picking away, theologically speaking. “So…did you actually sin? Is just thinking about something a sin? Is that really the worst thought you’ve ever had? Have you ever actually sinned, like in real life?” Make it seem like you understand nothing about how sin really works. Encourage her to give personal examples.

Of course, the conversation might go a totally different direction. Just take it where it goes. Never escalate, always treat her with respect when talking about religion. At any point, when you’ve hit a brick wall, just stop.

Wait for her to finish talking. Look thoughtful. Meet her eyes. Open your mouth to speak and then close it. Pause again. Then say “I need to think about that. And maybe read…” Walk out of the room. Pop your head back in. Say “Thank you Mom, for taking me seriously.”

It’s worth noting that I moved out of my parents’ house as soon as I graduated high school to get away from bullshit like this. In the long run, I might have been happier to find a compromise and learn to live with my mom’s nut beliefs and self-righteousness. Best of luck!

So…is this about how her religious beliefs are affecting HER life?

Or is it more about how her religious beliefs are affecting your relationship with her?

I don’t believe in any of this shit - but your mom does, so that’s how we have to approach the problem. If religion got her to this point, religion can dig her back out of it.

"Mom, I want to talk about God. Like, a serious talk about serious stuff. I’m concerned that you are trying shoulder a HUGE emotional and spiritual burden right now, all by yourself. It’s too big a load. You need to put some of it down.

All this sin around us? All this evil? It’s what God wanted, right? God created all of humanity and, through Satan, put sin in their hearts.

But after thousands of years, God saw that humanity needed a broader message, a message that could be understood by all people of the world, not just the Israelites. So he sent his son with an update. And Jesus tells us to take care of those things within our power and leave the rest to God.

Mom, for your own sake, please think on this. Pray on it. Talk to your friends at church about it. God doesn’t want you taking the weight of the world on your shoulders. It’s too much to bear."

Maybe grab a Chrisian bible and show her the following, she’d probably love it if you did a little bible study with her:

1 Peter 5:7 (NIV): “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you”.

Psalm 55:22 (NIV): “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken”.

Psalm 81:6 (NLT): “I will take the load from your shoulders; I will free your hands from their heavy tasks”.

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV): “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness’”.

Isaiah 10:27 (KJV): “…the burden shall be taken away from off thy shoulder, and thy yoke from off thy neck…”.

Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV): Encourages prayer over worry, promising that God’s peace will guard hearts and minds.

Yes, divorce is often considered a sin. And…?

The great thing about Christianity is that sin is expected, anticipated and in some ways, even celebrated.

The forgiveness of sin is a foundational Christianity principle. IMHO, it’s also why that religions is so popular, especially evangelical Christianity.

Here’s the gist: Humans are evil beings, filled with sin, each and every one of us. You WILL end up sinning and at that point, you can ask forgiveness. If you are sincere, God will forgive you. YAY! The burden of guilt is now lifted and you can go about your day.

This is why Christians can do horrible things and then walk away unphased. They have a get of jail free card. When/if they start to feel guilty about their deeds, they just ask forgiveness.

I’m not being flippant - this process satisfies a deep psychological need that many people seem to have. They want to be a good, empathetic person - but they are greedy and selfish and jealous, just like the rest of us. The Christian religion taps into this common trait and leverages it to the absolute max.

Saapas, I can see that you were trying to relate your own experiences to the discussion and even add to the discussion by asking a question. I’m sorry that nobody seems to understand what you’re trying to do. Many here are autists and many more are self-involved. I, in fact, am both and very pleased with myself for feeling empathy and compassion in this moment.

Back to your very valid question: Sleep scientists have long tracked sleeping cycles. Not all sleep is equal. Sleeping for a certain amount of time resets certain chemical imbalances in the brain. Many people can take a twenty-minute nap at midday, for example, and feel clear-headed afterwards. However, if they take an hour nap, they may feel lethargic. But then maybe that same person could take a two-hour nap instead, and feel great.

Your mileage may vary, but my point is that sleep cycles are a real thing. If your body is used to going to sleep at a certain time, that’s the time it expects sleep. It’s based on your body’s own internal clock. Daylight Savings Time messes with that clock. Your body doesn’t care that your phone jumped ahead an hour.

Not everyone will have a difficult time adjusting, but it’s not uncommon to feel restless for a couple of weeks until the body catches up to the new sleep pattern.

https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=circadian+rhythm+daylight+savings

You forgot another variable, an important one.

“You” are not “You”. Most (all?) atoms inside you are different than they once were. You are cycling through them as your body breaks down and repairs itself. Brain, teeth and eyes are about the only stable organs. The rest cycles, even your bones. And, yes, your penis.

The skin cells covering your penis, just like the rest of your body, last about a month. If you masturbate regularly, maybe faster.

So that’s one penis per month worth of skin cells, just floating around your house. And then your friend comes over, asks for a glass of water. A small mote of dust sits in the glass, invisible to the naked eye. You fill it, he drinks it.

Yeah, that’s right. Your buddy just swallowed your cock. I mean, for purposes of this absurd discussion, anyway.

the main value proposition of crypto is permissionless peer-to-peer payments.

I think a lot of people, including myself, expected a more user-friendly experience. And what many of us realized is that a peer-to-peer payment system is a lot of work and risk for the user. Everything looks unpolished and sketchy. You don’t know if you’ve installed the right software. There’s no FDIC insuring the money, and the FBI is going to laugh if you say that you accidentally sent your life savings to the wrong crypto address.

I guess what I’m saying is that I started to realize all the labor involved in secure fiat monetary systems. For me, as someone without a lot of money or any real reason to transfer my money electronically beyond paying bills, the effort just didn’t seem worth it.

So, yeah, that’s the reason I just parked my cash in Coinbase and let it grow. The risk and the hassle of actually utilizing a peer-to-peer system didn’t seem to have much of a reward.

Support groups.

Seeing a therapist is a great idea, but most people can only afford to go a few times a month, if that.

Support groups are cheaper (or free) and they accomplish the same thing, albeit without the focus being solely on yourself.

A small nitpick - always take inflation into account. “$5 million inflation-adjusted for 2025”.

It seems like a small thing, but setting a non-inflation adjusted amount is how good systems are undermined. For example, Medicare/Medicaid.

Medicare had some inflation adjustments built in - but it was for things like premiums and deductibles. In other words, the cost adjustments that fall on the consumer. Every year, the premiums go up, based on inflation.

Meanwhile, doctor reimbursements are NOT inflation adjusted. Thus, Medicare gets more expensive over time but doesn’t deliver the same quality of service (because the doctor reimbursements have less buying power).

Politicians use this trick ALL THE TIME, to gain the support of older voters while fucking younger voters over. They introduce a service that’s fully funded, but designed to enshitify over the coming decades.