I’ll start. I’m a 37-year-old woman, and I’ve always been indifferent about having children. I love peace and quiet, but at the same time, I wouldn’t mind having kids if my partner really wanted them.
I’ve been with my husband for 13 years now and married for 11. I’m his second (and final) wife. He has three kids with his first wife. She was supportive of him taking a second wife, with just one request: no more children. That solidified my decision not to have kids.
38 (cis-M) here. Yes, I do want kids and have pretty much all of my life. I want to give them opportunities that I didn’t have, encourage pro-social attitudes, and share in the joy and wonder of discovering things that, as an adult, are very much taken for granted. At this point, however, I’m getting pretty doubtful that it will happen.
Coming up on 10 years with my spouse and I’m not sure that I’d even have the energy at this point - being sole income and providing care for someone who has disabling mental health conditions and endometriosis has been extremely stressful and exhausting. And she’s back and forth on whether she even wants children, due to said conditions (which is not unreasonable). If we had more partners than just the two of us to share the load, it could work but, endo is chronic, degenerative and hers has only been getting worse recently so, I’m not too optimistic - for bio or non-bio.
Quick footnote on the subject: The “selfish ones” related to having children are the anti-natalists and anti-childfree people who think that everyone has the same life experience as them and want to judge others based upon their myopic views. Having children is not inherently moral or immoral - it’s just a function of biology and a personal decision.