I know I keep posting over and over but I’m in so much pain and I have no one or nowhere to go to when I am sad. I’m trying to channel everything internally without being such a burden and annoyance to people. I keep asking myself “why didn’t he fight for me and his relationship?” “Why am I so easy to be given up on?” “Was I even special to him?” … I cannot stop crying. I feel hopeless right now. When we stopped talking for a couple days and I reached out for closure, he said not speaking for those three days makes him realize he should’ve been more appreciative of me and how hard I tried and all those things. But if he was saying those things then why not turn it around? 😔I sound like a hopeless romantic but I can’t wrap my head around anything anymore… the closure somehow made it worse I guess. I told him I forgive him for anything he thinks he did wrong. He appreciated that. I miss him so much. I miss our memories, I miss his face. Something deep down inside of me feels like I’m going to see his face again but I know that’s false reality. We never even got to talk to each other about these things in person. I just want to cry in his arms.

    • Psythik@lemm.ee
      3·
      6 hours ago

      Nope. There isn’t.

      I don’t want give you a false sense of hope, but if they so happen to decide to text you first: it’s okay to respond, but speak to them as if you’re friends. They have to know that you’re ready to move on. And then go from there. Who knows what could happen.

      But you also have to prepare yourself for the possibility that you may never hear back from them again. And only time will help you come to terms with that very real possibility.

      • canadianchik@lemm.eeOPEnglish
        1·
        5 hours ago

        Is it bad that I would take him back if everything became okay? I just wish we could talk about everything in person. I never got to, when we met, we didn’t and I am so mad about that. He should’ve done it. But he didn’t. He broke up and didn’t talk through anything. I just want him back :/ but I know reality. What kills ne now is the idea that I feel like I am not worth fighting for

        • Maeve@kbin.earth
          1·
          5 hours ago

          Why, so you can go through it all again, in less time? Then repeat in less time?

          You have to love you the way you want and deserve to be loved.

          • canadianchik@lemm.eeOPEnglish
            1·
            4 hours ago

            Idk I believe people can change :( I know it probably won’t ever happen tbh. But it’s the fantasy in my head.

    • turtlesareneat@discuss.onlineEnglish
      1·
      5 hours ago

      I pretend (in a non-grotesque sort of way) that the other person is “dead” to me and that I could “summon” them with a “seance” (text) but it’d be terribly unnatural and there’d be an awful price to pay.

      Basically if I make my breakup Practical Magic, it helps somehow heh