I know I keep posting over and over but I’m in so much pain and I have no one or nowhere to go to when I am sad. I’m trying to channel everything internally without being such a burden and annoyance to people. I keep asking myself “why didn’t he fight for me and his relationship?” “Why am I so easy to be given up on?” “Was I even special to him?” … I cannot stop crying. I feel hopeless right now. When we stopped talking for a couple days and I reached out for closure, he said not speaking for those three days makes him realize he should’ve been more appreciative of me and how hard I tried and all those things. But if he was saying those things then why not turn it around? 😔I sound like a hopeless romantic but I can’t wrap my head around anything anymore… the closure somehow made it worse I guess. I told him I forgive him for anything he thinks he did wrong. He appreciated that. I miss him so much. I miss our memories, I miss his face. Something deep down inside of me feels like I’m going to see his face again but I know that’s false reality. We never even got to talk to each other about these things in person. I just want to cry in his arms.

  • canadianchik@lemm.eeOPEnglish
    1·
    1 day ago

    I did something horrible too the past couple days. I added like two people back who I used to game with all the time (one I had a sexual past with). My loneliness got to me. I regret doing this because I see no point of it. But now I feel guilt :/ one person added me on Snapchat and I asked who they were to also find out they were someone I did something with. I didn’t remove them…why? Why do I do dumb stuff when I’m lonely. I would not go see a guy or do anything as of now or anytime soon tbh, I am not ready, but why did I add these people… I feel like a horrible person. They all reached out and hoped I’m doing okay. 2 of them know I had to remove them because I knew it was the right thing to do.