Even worse the Hollywood Effect makes the stuff that I do that’s ACTUALLY impressive look like routine.
Fuckers will literally clap if I unjam their printer but manually recalculate a CRC header for a mission critical live database without a second of downtime and they’re like ‘Ok but isn’t that your job?’
BITCH LESS THAN 5 PEOPLE IN THE STATE CAN DO THIS
But you just typed in some numbers
BITCH I CANNOT EXPLAIN IN UNDER FOUR HOURS HOW TO FIGURE OUT THE RIGHT NUMBERS TO USE
Ok, so how do you calculate the correct value when the database keeps dumping new arbitrary length records at roughly 10 per second? And figure it out quick because once that record hits finalization in roughly four minutes, it’s going to puke out a record dump that contains every test done since the database was stood up a decade ago and there isn’t enough HD space in the cluster for even half of it.
Three minutes now, do you have that number? Two minutes fifty seconds…
About anything to do with computers. Anything.
Even worse the Hollywood Effect makes the stuff that I do that’s ACTUALLY impressive look like routine.
Fuckers will literally clap if I unjam their printer but manually recalculate a CRC header for a mission critical live database without a second of downtime and they’re like ‘Ok but isn’t that your job?’
BITCH LESS THAN 5 PEOPLE IN THE STATE CAN DO THIS
But you just typed in some numbers
BITCH I CANNOT EXPLAIN IN UNDER FOUR HOURS HOW TO FIGURE OUT THE RIGHT NUMBERS TO USE
The more complex the task, the less fucking impressed the proles are.
It angers me even more than normal that this is so fucking true
import crc
Ok, so how do you calculate the correct value when the database keeps dumping new arbitrary length records at roughly 10 per second? And figure it out quick because once that record hits finalization in roughly four minutes, it’s going to puke out a record dump that contains every test done since the database was stood up a decade ago and there isn’t enough HD space in the cluster for even half of it.
Three minutes now, do you have that number? Two minutes fifty seconds…
Nods and waves arms widely - the computers.
Which ones? All of them.