I wouldn’t dare defile Douglas Adam’s memory by not mentioning that you should keep a towel with you at all times, but my second contender is a surprisingly short three-parter:
- never lie.
- never tell the whole truth.
- never pass up a chance to use a real bathroom.
Corporations aren’t your friend. Avoid the publicly-traded ones seeking quartely profits the most. If it isn’t a massive burden, find an alternative—avoiding some is better than none.
I’d add “Don’t defend any corp”.
Not just talking to the Tesla bros either. I mean ANY corp. Including Steam.
You can show support. But if/when they do something shitty, don’t be a bootlicker.
Same with working. I’ve worked at a few major tech companies. No matter how many rainforests they saved or houses they built. At some point, a bad decision will infuriate you, or a new directive will aim for profits and people lose their jobs.
They’re not your friend.
Everything in moderation; including moderation.
Sometimes you gotta go all out!
(But do so in moderation)
Money is not the only medium of exchange.
Found the Ferengi.
Rule of acquisition #39: A favor is the most powerful type of debt.
If you don’t have time to do something right what makes you think you have time to do it twice?
Respect other people’s time. When dealing with a busy person in a professional context;
- Emails should be as short as possible while still conveying the needed information, don’t make a busy person excavate the relevant info from somewhere near the middle of the fifth paragraph.
- Whenever possible phrase a question in a way that can be answered in one word.
Never borrow money from a man whose first name is “The” and never gamble with a man whose first name is a city.
But I need $600k to pay Jersey City Steve and “The Raven” has a history of being fair with his loans.
If it sounds too good to be true - it probably is.
People are more helpful if you’re nice to them.
Brush your teeth and floss
If everywhere you go smells like shit, check your shoes.
So is this intended as kind of a metaphor or is this mainly aimed at people who have literally stepped in real shit?
It’s both
If everyone around you is an asshole, you’re the asshole.
Both. It’s like the saying “Governing a big country is like cooking small fish.” (With the explanation that if you keep poking it, it’ll disintegrate) also taught me how to cook fish as well as realpolitik.
The fish advice was most useful.
It’s a metaphor for people who smell whipped cream all the time, they should check on top of their head.
This is a metaphor for life in general. If you find that all your interactions are negative, check yourself. Are you the problem in your relationships and interactions? How can you fix that? Clean your shoes.
Pretty sure its a metaphor for being an asshole
If you find yourself in a hole, first step is to stop digging.
Reminder me of this
“What to do if you find yourself stuck with no hope of rescue: Consider yourself lucky that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn’t been good to you so far - which, given your present circumstances, seems more likely - consider yourself lucky that it won’t be troubling you much longer.” Douglas Adams
Nothing lasts. It goes for good days, but also bad days.
Leave it better than you found it.
Goes for your home, your neighborhood, or something you’ve borrowed. It can be applied to the planet, the beach, the trail, the car, the job.
Hell, it even goes for people. Leave them a little happier, a little wiser, a little more prosperous than before.
Second rule, give people the benefit of the doubt and don’t attribute an action as the person. Did they cut you off on the road? They’re having a bad day and made a mistake. They’re speeding? Maybe they are on the way to see a loved one without much longer to live. Don’t call someone an asshole just because they made an asshole move. People are so much more than that one interaction with them.
Funny enough, these have analogs in programming!
Leave it better than you found it.
The Boyscouts rule! Clean up bad code if you can!
Second rule, give people the benefit of the doubt and don’t attribute an action as the person.
Sometimes you gotta write janky code to meet a deadline. That is not a personal failure. And give folks a break who do it too.
It’s okay to ask for help.
Sometimes good enough is good enough.
You need to sleep.