Meet people: hobby or spiritual community are the two big ones most people meet a partner at. Look up cheap hobbies in particular something like a walking club.

Cheap places to take a girl:

• fish around in conversations for her favorite food. Pick the prettiest spot within walking distance. Pick somewhere out of the way but visible to passerby like the edge of a park. Check the calendar for favorable weather. Bring a blanket, that favorite food, and anything needed to make the environment comfy like an umbrella.

• if it’s just not the time of year for favorable weather book a library or community center presentation room and in addition to food fish around in convos for a favorite movie. Still bring a large blanket and push the tables and wheely chairs out of the way.

Any partner who finds effort over cash undesirable is just not a good fit for your life right now.

first of all, right?

Christianity was at it’s height when it was a syncretistic antiestablishment death cult. If I ever get a time machine Athasnasius of Alexandria is above Hitler on my hitlist. It’s not even because I have beef with the number three shit even the taoists like the number 3. but using the number 3 as a way to intentionally create divisions so that they can become opposing sides in over a millennia of wars is unconsciensable.

Suicide should be a human right. You should have to prove that you’re of sound mind and that you’ve considered and tried all other options. But once you’ve proven you’re not manic, psychotic, intoxicated, being coerced, etc and no other option will reasonably bring you peace you should be able to do it and get help making sure you don’t get stuck halfway or receive comfort care only until it’s over. Also every psych unit I’ve worked requires suspension of a DNR which terrifies me for involuntary admits.

Had an micro teacher a long time ago at community college where 90% of his students were in healthcare career tracks. He told us when we’re home to roll in the dirt, eat food straight off the vine after a quick polish with your shirt and for the most part only wash our hands after the toilet and before eating / prepping food or anything specifically medical like wound care or putting on contracts and that you should basically never use hand sanitizer at home. …then at work you wash your hands every time you touch pretty much anything. Said that was the key to a strong immune system.

It’s not the age gap it’s the raising her / being her caretaker as a small child and having all those surrogate father-daughter moments. Switching suddenly from father-daughter to love interest… 😬

…am I…♂️…???

Telling people younger than me not to worry about things. Like even coworkers I only have like a decade on. No you sweet little child that’s for us adults to deal with please wait off to the side and observe while I handle this bullshit.

It’s still fucked.

One of my coworkers commented on one of our difficult patients calling the weekend crew racist against them and how ridiculous it was because both the patient and the weekend nurses are black. I was like oh yeah no that’s because the weekend nurses aren’t black (being a cultural term for African-American), they’re African. Emphasis on the not-born-American. That’s different (to people who care about that sort of thing). Is it rational? Not even a little, but racism, despite the claims of phrenology et al, is about as far from rational as you can get.

I was gonna say that some of this is also probably sentencing bias. Subjectively the correlation seems too strong to not have some truth to it. I also have other data to support male = higher violence risk largely outside of perceptual bias.

As an example from my area of expertise, men complete suicide more often because they typically choose deadlier means (guns especially) vs women are more likely to attempt something like a drug overdose which is more reversible / leaves more opportunity for aborting the attempt. There’s not a lot of room in those stats for perceptual bias, dead is dead and alive is alive. It’s basically a known fact that men are more violent to themselves. I won’t get too much into the stats of violence against others except to say that the statistical predictor tool I’ve used for that in institutional environments didn’t use “male,” it used “male under 30y/o.”

On the other end of perceptual errors almost govern criminal sentencing. Entrusting a group of people to judge an event reduces some but not all of the perceptual bias, but certainly can’t eliminate it. And I do also have my own subjective / experiential perspective that is similar but in some ways inverted to yours (but is also almost certainly occurring in a 100% different environment):

When I first started in my field I was told and found to be true that when you’re breaking up a fight between men all you need to do is break eye contact. You get between them back to back with a coworker and if you can’t block their sightline to each other with your bodies you shove one of them around a corner. And that’s it. Within about 30 seconds they’re in tension reduction talking about their feelings in that emotionally constipated way western men do (“he just made me so mad!”). Otoh I was told and found to be true that you let the women go at it until the entire code team arrives from your surrounding units because you’re going to basically have to do a full restraint episode for each woman.

(Sorry I have lots of thoughts about violence it’s actually kinda my area of professional expertise.)

I did this to epic on my charge nurses computer last night and she thought it was magic. I’ve made it clear that I will provide these and many other services to the charge nurse as long as I don’t ever have to actually do it personally (I don’t want to have to explain to other adults what their job is). Thus the balance is maintained.

Can’t recommend nursing for neurodivergence. Not in a “you’re not good enough” kinda way. I very much proved that I can. I had to learn a buuunch of new social and communication skills, and I did have to “prove” I could to my instructors and for about the first six months at any new job.

You can absolutely be a nurse with neurodivergence. But whether it’s right or wrong, you’re going to have to put in some extra effort in areas you’re probably not used to. You should first consider whether or not that’s actually worth it to you. That part matters more than people admit.

It also helps that I work psych. I’m doing a lot of communication with people more like me. But that also comes with the downside of a lot of that communication being them yelling at me and trying to hit me. They’re specifically the subset of neurodivergents with more trauma, or in a particularly bad place in their life, and often were never taught the emotional regulatory skills needed to solve problems without doing that (my sister certainly never learned them while we were growing up and I’ve got a permanent back injury to prove it).

Again right or wrong matters very little there. Should someone have gone to the extra effort to teach them not to hit people in ways that they were able to fully engage with? Definitely. Do neurotypicals also sometimes miss learning that skillset? Sure, but it happens less often because more childcare services are designed to teach them those skills than neurodivergent children. Still leaves me dodging punches from auDHD peeps at the end of the day.

Most people are good. Most people forget to be kind to others sometimes.

Some people forget to be kind to others more. I kinda don’t like that.

Some people need to cause others discomfort to feel like they are in control of their lives. I dislike that.

Some people feel that they have the right to or even should cause others discomfort because they have some kind of birthright granted by their religion, how aggressive their ancestors were, or some perception that they’ve worked harder than others. I feel that such people should either be rigorously reeducated or in some way removed from access to other humans entirely.

Same. It took me a little longer but it makes such a nice fidget for lectures / meetings. The procedurality of it is almost soothing.

REM sleep.

It’s the last thing they can force you to do (but playing along can have benefits).

Yes.

That’s literally just the text adventure video game Corruption of Champions (CoCs). The sci-fi version is Trials in Tainted Space (TiTS).

Can’t kill another rock. Just makes more rocks.