President Donald Trump signed an executive order Thursday afternoon to change the name of Lake Ontario to “Lake America,” his latest escalation as he engages in a tense trade war with Canada.

President Donald Trump signed an executive order Thursday afternoon to change the name of Lake Ontario to “Lake America,” his latest escalation as he engages in a tense trade war with Canada.

“‘Lake of America’ was something I’ve been thinking about for a long time,” Trump said from the Oval Office. “We have a gulf and we have a lake. Now, all we need is an ocean. So, maybe we’ll have to change the name of the Atlantic and/or the Pacific. Maybe we’ll change them both.”

Surrounded by large maps of the Great Lakes, Trump said the name change was “effective immediately,” and that his staff had “filed all the necessary papers, documents, everything else.” A White House aide claimed the lake “has most of its volume in the United States” and that the “deepest parts” are in US territory.

  • Avicenna@programming.dev
    6·
    2 days ago

    Oh for fuck’s just sign an executive order to require everyone to call Trump the president with the biggest dick and let us be done with your phallus complex already. He is literally what happens when someone like Edward Tiny Balls Coristine becomes president; a double agent in every aspect, tons of self proclaimed sexual prowess and a phallic size complex.

  • tacoplease@lemmy.world
    5·
    2 days ago

    Acronym to remember the Great Lakes used to be -

    Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, Superior: HOMES

    Now with Trump it’s -

    Superior, Huron, America, Michigan, Erie: SHAME

  • kromem@lemmy.worldEnglish
    134·
    3 days ago

    You all laugh, but think for a moment about the poor cattle rancher currently sitting on the toilet with his lettuce diarrhea, worried about the pending foreclosure of all he has and when the ivermectin is finally going to kick in for little Billy Jr’s case of measles.

    But then upon his porcelain throne he sees his dear leader with the courage and genius to redraw the name of the lake he didn’t remember existed from its communist foreign name to a name he knows and can remember, because it’s the name of where he lives and also two of his daughters.

    And finally, for the first time since Obama’s shadow government made him wear a mask in 2020 for the hoax pandemic that doctors claimed killed his elderly parents but everyone knew was just a flu and also engineered by Fauci for maximum damage — he knows.

    He knows it’s going to be okay.

    That when Billy Jr beats this made-up measles thing and little America One and America Too and the whole family loses the ranch, that they can go to the Lake that is now their heritage by the only name they need to learn it.

    And then he’ll float, staring up into the heavens, finally at peace secure in the knowledge that at long last the greatest President since Jesus is cradling his heart and interests in his diminutive bruised hands, exhausted from all the renaming of water.

    • Fredselfish@lemmy.world
      4·
      3 days ago

      Was explaining the propaganda of that Great to be an American song to my son. He never heard it so pulled up the music video. I had never seen it just heard the song. But the video was just that. The man singing how great America is even has he is losing everything and becoming homeless. Pretty fuck up.

      • IamSparticles@lemmy.zipEnglish
        3·
        3 days ago

        Every time that song comes up I like to point out that they guy who wrote it, Lee Greenwood, is a complete hack that has never done anything else noteworthy and has been living off the royalties ever since. He even re-wrote the lyrics, badly, to make a Canadian version to try and squeeze more cash out of that cow of a song.

  • WesternInfidels@feddit.onlineEnglish
    5·
    2 days ago

    You know, this really isn’t fair to the other 160,000 lakes in the USA. Surely they all deserve to be known as “Lake America.”

  • comrade_twisty@feddit.orgEnglish
    101·
    3 days ago

    Fun fact:

    The mnemonic for the Great Lakes will also change from H-O-M-E-S to S-H-A-M-E, if you replace the O for Ontario with an A for America.

  • Alexfire@lemmy.world
    9·
    2 days ago

    What a deplorably designed country that one person can do all this wasteful stuff. Way more wasted by this party than the fraud they like to point out in some places, and no peep on where it’s actually worse. It’s one part of the low-level thinking that high-control groups enforce, to keep people from asking questions and finding the evidence. For example that all the other rich countries pay much less for healthcare with better outcomes, get better worker benefits and satisfaction and all that makes healthier people than the usa system. It shows that they don’t want that for everyone, just them and theirs, the selfish tradition is strong!