Instructions unclear, I’ve pulled and turned the red thingies with “1” and “2” and “APU” written on them, now it says “Airspeed low” and the the steering wheel is shaking. What do I do now, please send instructions urgently.
Push it.
Twist it.
Bop it.
I’m about to have dinner, but I’ll be back as soon as I’m done, I swearsies
Ok, first take a deep breath and calm down. Airspeed low is a good thing, you need to take this slowly! If the shaking of the steering wheel bugs you too much, they are adjustable, you just need to push it away from you.
Now one of the biggest dangers to planes flown randomly around the sky is other planes, so you need to get on the radio with air traffic control and request permission to crash and they can give you a clear vector from your current position to a suitable crash site.
If you’re lucky, there will be a nearby deserted island, in which case surviving the crash will make a much more interesting story than a plane crashing on a deserted island and everyone dying (or maybe the island will be purgatory or something and you really did die, or maybe purgatory will be a version where you didn’t crash… Be prepared to be very confused, especially since you won’t get to see any of the flashbacks that gives context to everyone who will lie about everything, even stupid shit like miraculously being able to walk again or other things that would be cool to talk about).
Oh, that is unless you’re one of the few adults on a plane full of kids, in which case, sorry, you’re fucked.
All I need is “Danger Zone” playing and some aviator sunglasses.
Used to do code for those sims. Funny things is, you can ignore like 90% of the stuff in there in there cuz most of it has an auto setting.
Super important to know where the radio is, cause I’m gonna want to listen to some nice chill songs while I soar through the air towards certain death cause I don’t know how to fly a plane but the guy behind me kept kicking my chair so I yelled “If you don’t stop kicking my chair, I swear to god, I am turning this plane around!” and he didn’t stop so I had to do it to save face.
Where is the AI button?
Ask the copilot.
Here, take this: 🍪
He says he’s got Cursory knowledge.
Me flipping on reverse thrust and parking brake before touching the ground in FSX because I’m like 100 kts above the landing speed
I know how to drive sick. I got this. /s
Dejavu theme intensifies
What does “make wings bigger” actually do?
Extends the flaps, i.e. makes the chord of the wing longer making it able to be more effective at lower airspeed. (takeoff and landing).
The flaps are retracted at cruise to make the wing more efficient at cruise.
Is it separate from the ailerons?
Ailerons are for imparting roll.
Flaps and slats are not for steeringI believe the ailerons are on the outside half of the wing, and the flaps are on the inside half (toward the fuselage)
I like pleasure spiked with pain so yeah
It’s my aeroplane
That motherfucker’s always spiked with pain
Keep plane in sky, above the ground (unless you meant to), check!✈️
Just don’t learn flying from Colonel Stuart (Die Hard 2).
Learn from this guy.
Do a barrel roll!
Or simply aim at the ground and miss :-P
Pff.
Just caption an Airbus. Assuming you’re in flight, you just need the buttons to engage cat III auto landing, make wings bigger, make wheels stick out, and brakes after you land.
Hopefully just activate ILS. There’s no way you wouldn’t be diverted to an airport that doesn’t require a Cat III landing, even a IIIA is stupid dangerous for a trained crew. iirc you only have a 1-2 second correction window for any Cat III landing where the ILS cuts out, compared to something like 8-10 for a Cat I (which is plenty of time for an amateur that’s been coached on the procedure to do a missed landing then give it back to the autopilot, that’s super easy). Plus the number of airports that can even do just a Cat II at least used to be pretty low (150 in the US?), and Cat III rated airports are even fewer (I dont think there’s double digits that can do a IIIB, and afaik there’s still none in the world rated for IIIC…)
(edit: came off more aggro than I meant, changed wording so I sound like less of a dick!)
I like your funny words, flying person. Keep 'em coming.
Music is my aeroplane.
It’s my aeroplane.
Songbird sweet and sour Jane,
And music is my aeroplane,
It’s my aeroplane.
Saving this. Might come in handy some day.
Which one’s the seat warmer?
Soon there are self flying AI Airplanes
