or to keep the peace, maybe you think it’s not a big deal but your partner, friend, coworker, parent feels otherwise.
Do you apologize just to validate him?
I always though if I don’t feel bad about it, fuck it, I’m not apologizing, deal with it. It’s not my fault you’re so thin skinned. Grow up.
Now I’m thinking I should be more empathetic and apologize, just to make the aggravated person feel validated, even though I don’t feel bad (or that bad).
This gets more complicated because many times coworkers feel offended because I don’t share my personal life with them or I’m so concentrated on my job that I don’t notice them. Do I apologize for not noticing them?
At work, I apologize all the time.
With real people I actually care about, I only apologize for specific things I’ve done wrong. That way they know I mean it.
I teach programmers to say “Oops” when they make a mistake, rather than apologize. It’s epidemic.
Id never thought about it in this way before. I apologize all the time just to keep things moving quick and easy, but maybe I should learn to be a bit more discerning for the sake of trust? Definitely something to think about
It’s not even just trust but self-confidence. You may be giving off the impression that you can be walked on all over, and bullies may take advantage of that.
A key part is that you have to examine your own behavior with a critical eye.