ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠

If someone was selling underwear with a built-in fan, I’d make her a millionaire.

Not guilty at all, but dance competition movies. It’s a subgenre of sports team movies where a diverse group has to learn to work together to win a competition, but the competition is dance. Movies like Stomp the Yard, Bring It On, and the Step Up series. You may be inclined to think Dirty Dancing as well, but that one is too individual and with too much drama, though it does include the all-important training montage.

They all eat theirs with maple, mine with butter and black pepper.

date, no

marry, kinda

by the formerly homeless waitresses who have lost family to drugs, anyway

relax

Very picky. I don’t have time for duds.

Damn girl, you want ME for president.

Whichever is most likely to be served alongside salty food.

Honestly, I don’t usually get hangovers, because I finish the night with a little bit of Jeppson’s Malört, which is a balm against hangovers, headaches, and stomach trouble. Fernet is less effective if you can’t get malört in your area.

The scraps of my children’s uneaten breakfasts, so:

• half an egg sandwich

• the dregs of a bowl of oatmeal with maple syrup, mixed with whatever unsyruped oatmeal I can scrape out of the pot

• about four apple slices and half a bagel

on days my spouse cooks breakfast. When I cook, everyone eats pancakes.

Breakfast diners, especially Greek ones. I order three eggs over medium and pancakes with extra butter. If they serve tea, I order hot tea.

No, just an uptick in complaints about it.

Makes me pretty proud if my subscription list, honestly.

A pattern of tardiness. Every time.

It’s my day off, I’m exhausted.

nuttin’, wassa tankie wit’ you?

Justin Amash, Zohran Mamdani, JB Pritzker, Hillary Clinton, Kamala Harris, Bernie Sanders, Greta Thunberg, my brother the historian, Chuy Garcia, Tammy Duckworth, Tom Daschle, Chance the Rapper, Dave from the movie Dave…

I could pick a random person off the street in my neighborhood and they’d be better than the current President. But if I had to pick just one I guess I’d pick Tammy Duckworth, since she’s the most likely to win reëlection.

I wait tables, but I also don’t own a car. So I walky kids to school, I walk to the supermarket, but I also take walks for recreation.

total, or maximum? In a typical month I bike ten miles a day and walk 18K steps a day, but never go more than ten miles from my house.

Not at all.

I think some crimes deserve death, but I just don’t trust the government –any government!– to make that decision.