Crazy Larry, is that you?

“crossdressing as a girl is something only a guy can do, therefor it is the manliest possible activity.” – anonymous modern day socrates

when people tell you who they are, believe them

for instance, while I may not believe you fart actual glitter all the time, I also have no doubt that the sort of person who sets “I_Fart_Glitter” as their username also has no qualms about shoving some craft herpes up their funhole just to prove me wrong

now, taking what we’ve learned from this, what’s their username? what does it tell you? it’s quite possible they’re just unfathomably stupid, instead of or in addition to being a killjoy.

I would also add, probably watch alone. Not exactly a great movie to watch with family, nor for a romantic date. Could maybe crack some good dark jokes with friends if you’ve got the right kind of fucked-up buddies, but that’s about the only possible “enjoyable and not awkward shared viewing of Deliverance” I can envision.

oh god yes please give me access to military infrastructure, explosives, and firearms; I am a perfectly sane and obedient selective service applicant and can be trusted in the vicinity of all of these things

the world is not made up of exclusively binary good/bad characters or outcomes, and most half-decent TV shows aren’t, either.

Sure, in practical terms it’s probably overkill, but that’s why I say it’s the “perfect” hygienic restroom. You don’t need to touch anything at all with your hands in the entire room after you leave the stall/urinal.

Hell, that’s another item, come to think of it – floor-flushing toilets/urinals. The electric eye/sensing ones are fine too, I guess, but having a button on the floor I could just step on (which I have seen in places) is my preference. Minimizing hand contact areas in a bathroom is always a good thing.

The perfect hygienic restroom:

Hands-free soap dispenser, set to dispense liberally (businesses never do)

A hands-free sink that actually does its fucking job and comes on at a reasonably warm temperature, with decent water pressure, for 30 seconds minimum. I can handle having to position my hands somewhere weird for a second as long as I actually get a functional goddamn sink for a usable amount of time. So many of these automated sinks fail at this it’s unreal, but I’m certain non-shitty ones exist, I have used at least one.

Motion-activated paper towel dispenser with decent paper towels loaded.

Push-to-open door with no latch (such that you can just use your shoulder or hip anywhere).

Unfortunately, every public place I’ve ever been to has at least one failing element here. Like, it’s clear some places are trying and failing; and in others it’s patently obvious they’re just trying to be cheap (miserly soap dispenser, sink set to turn off after just a couple seconds without motion in the magic spot and lukewarm temp, air blower instead of paper towels).