Semisimian

Ho ho ho, future Santa checking in. Mrs Claus is a hair stylist, so we have some insight into what I’m going to need when the days grow short and the beard (hopefully) grows long.

The biggest thing is: full beards take time. And not just time to grow the length, but time (years) for your face to mature and get those hair follicles in the Christmas spirit. There’s really not much you can do if the fullness isn’t coming in yet but wait. I’m in this phase now. It’s hormones. What are we going to do? Not drugs, not Rogaine: not going to help. Take care of what you got.

But you mentioned you DO have a beard, so maybe you have the stellar volume you need to be St Nick, just not the length. Short answer, skin care IS beard care. Get a good skin care regimen that works for your face and your beard will fall in line. You’ve signed up for an everyday commitment to becoming a touchable beard, and they WILL ALL touch it. Toddlers to Grannies, especially, Grannies.

You have the beard! Now you need the color. This depends on your hair color and how your hair accepts color, so you really should go to a professional. If you want to be a paid, real-beard Santa, a good color job will be the LEAST of your expenses and it will pay off on day one.

Being a good Santa is being a good person. It really is just that. But there is a physical barrier that is conforming to the Coca-Cola ideal of Santa, which is the tutorial I just provided for the BEARD ONLY!

I wish you well and I hope you enjoy bringing hope, magic and love into the hearts of children.

Well, that’s one area you definitely don’t want dandelions growing.

“Wow, three whole openings!”

They’re related, those incestuous, chinless WASPs. Brother takes sister to a formal dance and stops by the pharmacy to get a malt and let Dad get a whiff of sister’s corsage. Keep it in the family!

They do, and as a Canadian, they should know that fellow Canadian John Hopps invented the 1st pacemaker. He’s even considered the father of biomedical engineering. I dug through trying to find out if he coined the term “heartpacer,” no such luck. It sounds like a Dutch translation to me.

I am outside of the loop and I appreciate your break-down. I am all for paying for useful services, but I have such a backlog of media that I need to watch, I don’t benefit from Trakt. I like a paid business model, though

We should all question a “free” app that lets us spend 1 or 2 or 8 hours a day on their platform. We’ve gotten greedy, thinking that everything should be personal data or advertiser supported. It stinks that Trakt is cutting features while raising prices, all for a pretty simple service, but I think subscription services that protect your privacy are worth funding.

That’s the part of The Hulk we are all just told to ignore.

Sir, this is a Wendy’s.

Why not 6660 soldiers? Or just one up Revelations and go with 6666 soldiers. The revolution may not be televised, but the end times will.

My Thermador is no different, shitty ice maker.

There are a bajillion, but maybe you are looking for a specific genre that nails it on the head.

As someone mentioned, there are thousands of social drama films that could’ve easily happened. The success of that type of film is selling a “day in the life” plot.

Someone else mentioned Office Space. That film is a satire, but it condenses and delivers refined representations of the banality of cubicle life that we all can easily relate to. The characters truly seem to be facsimiles of people we’ve known in our working lives.

Someone else mentioned Michael Clayton. It’s an excellent thriller with flawed characters with believable motives that yes, it could be real. And maybe something like that has happened?

What genre will help us answer your question?

“Screw 'em, do what you want” shall be the whole of the law.

I know what you mean, but I immediately heard it different. It’s something we should be asking daily, just to make sure they have what they need. Are trans women okay? Are trans men okay? What do you need? I have a sympathetic ear and bourbon; how can I help?

He’s great. I first heard him on a Ninja Tune compilation. I got to see him in a 100 seater doing a poetry night. All snaps!