Yeah I do a similar thing with intermittent fasting. I allow myself to eat as much as I want, but only after around 1600 (4pm for the temporally confused friends) or roughly the time the kid gets home from school and either has a small snack or we eat dinner straight away around that time. Couldn’t skip that, because I do need to show example too, since they, as many kids do, struggle to eat enough, sometimes just nibbling on stuff. Even if they’ve been very active with hobbies and friends and walking to and from school (around 4km total) and they really need the energy and the nutrients to build back and heal the body after all that, not to mention usual growing stuff. And as they often do, especially the salad sides are difficult without someone body doubling the experience, or if we’re doing something different, unusual food to slightly expand their comfort zone progressively. So I can’t really fast beyond that. But I’ve found I don’t really need to. I’ve lost around 10kg in a year just by this small fasting period. No other changes. I wasn’t obese before, just a bit overweight, but I have been back in the day, on the obese side even. I got back from that with keto diet, and luckily never let it slip back too much, but that isn’t an option anymore, for largely the same reasons; have to lead by example, show healthy eating habits (when they are there) and have diverse, nutritious food. Can’t do keto like that.

I’m not doing this for weight reasons though; my blood sugar is on the high side, almost pre-diabetic, and the docs tell me if I don’t get it sorted, I’ll eventually just slip over the line and that’s not something you get back from apparently. I also have vascular fat (or whatever it’s called in English, the inner fat) that I’d need to get rid of to get my liver values back to healthy bounds. Already gave up drinking some years back, even if it was occasional even then, and it wasn’t enough, so I have to try and get the fat off too. Keto would’ve been perfect for this, back in the day I lost crazy amount of that inner fat especially on it, but apparently this intermittent fasting is doing good things there too, although not nearly as effectively.

But the surprising thing to me is, I didn’t cut off any foods or food types, generally I’ve tried to keep the short carbs a bit lower than usual, but haven’t gone entirely off. And it still works. I haven’t been on the blood controls yet for either of the reasons, but my scale tells me about 2-3kg of that 10kg has been inner fat.

And even through Christmas and a lot of carbs, the weight didn’t seem to sway back almost at all, even with delayed monitoring.

Which is all to say, it seems easier to cut on the calories if you only consume them less than half a day, time-wise, even if you ate unhealthy food and generally not very diet-y. In the limited timespan it might just be impossible to get to similar amounts of calories vs. if you ate regularly throughout all day, if you like me have trouble regulating and tend to overeat fairly consistently (I have adhd so the dopamine rush gets me too excited every time and I guess I lose most of my sense of moderation for a while there).

Sorry for the weird digression. Just wanted to hop in with my experiences.

I’ve been in a committed relationship for the past few years, so I haven’t got the freshest experience, but:

I’ve always had luck with tinder and similar ones. Current relationship is from there too. But this is for mono relationships.

When I was going through my poly experiments era, tinder really didn’t work out for me. Or any of the others at the time, but tinder’s been the biggest here regionally so I’ll keep using that in place of all the similar apps.

Surprisingly enough, for any poly or just more casual stuff otherwise, the most action and great memories and experiences I got through Jodel. It’s not a dating app, but somehow it just happened to work. I didn’t explicitly send messages to anyone either, it just came to be.

Which is all to say, it’s not the explicitly dating apps alone one should consider. Or, rather, I guess it depends a lot on what one’s looking for, and perhaps speaks to just how much people you can meet and get contact with and get excited about and have nice memories with, without trying explicitly to do that. Just organically connecting with people on a personal level without any masks on.

But I never thought any of the different ways to meet people are necessarily bad or gave me any problems or whatever. People just meet and click, if they dare to put themselves out there. When I was younger, it was through school, work, bars, friends’ friends, parties, gigs, festivals, cafes, libraries… you know, basically anywhere there are people, you might just accidentally find a fun or endearing adventure with someone.

That’s not to say there aren’t any bad experiences too. But it does a lot of good to instead focus on the good ones and try and hang on to them, so you’ll dare to throw yourself out there again and have more of them. I know it’s not as easily done as it is said, but outright dismissing it without seriously trying will definitely not help and even actively sabotage your own confidence and vibe, you know?

A lot of it is just attitude. If you can find a way to remain happy and endearing and brave enough to get personal, close, even if for just little whiles at a time, then I almost guarantee you, you’ll just attract others somehow, somewhere, always. The question I guess is, will you pick up on it or dare to go with it when it comes to you? Because that shit is hard and stressful if you’re not used to it, very easy to just skip or ignore outright without even trying, without exposing yourself to the potential harm and heartbreak (potential love and warm memories too, mind you!), and only repeat practice will ultimately give you the perspective and outlook required to come out better each time.

But I digress. I know not everyone has a good time with these, perhaps a lot of it is regional/cultural too, but almost everyone I know, have mostly had amazing experiences, ultimately, through these apps. Some get to it some other way, mostly the means alternate, but people just tend to find each others naturally, somehow just end up in the right place in the right time. Sometimes that’s the tinder or other dating app. Sometimes it’s something else.

But I haven’t personally heard any horror stories, and all the heartbreak and sad stories have always ultimately been overshadowed by later joy and warmth found in the exact same apps or whatever. Neither have I experienced anything out of ordinary. Some heartbreak, some disappointments, sure, but most importantly, love and caring to outshine those. Nothing that wouldn’t happen if met otherwise.

I would also consider just choosing the middle ground and take the pension, retire half time. If that’s doable within your country’s framework.

Less work, and you can potentially choose the work depending on how you do this, which can make it even more enjoyable in addition to having less hours. You’ll get to supplement the pension with a bit of income, you can perhaps even choose to live more frugally for a few years to get some extra investments going that you only touch on emergencies, but otherwise will hopefully get large enough to fight back on the inflation.

But if it was me, I’d just retire. No telling what the world will look like in a few years, nevermind 20. Even if you kept working, there’s no guarantees things’ll get better, maybe entire economy collapses and all that work has been for nothing. Or maybe the humanity collapses, you know.

I’d take all the free time I could muster and spend it as much as practical, on nice enjoyable things and family and friends.

While I don’t agree, I’ll concede I might be in the minority with this stand. But I don’t really believe in a universal intelligence in the first place. There are several, and not all of them are self-serving or marked by the traditionally associated emotionless calculations. There’s emotional intelligence. Social intelligence. And so on.

I don’t pretend to be a philosopher or a psychologist to say what they all are, what they even are if you get down to it, but I do know there’s intelligence in caring for others. There’s intelligence in many kinds of sacrifice too. They just aren’t the classical kind of universal intelligence, because that is defined by self-serving “cold facts” and a fragile attempt at realizing an objective world and objective stance on it, which one can never truly reach or possess. If something like that even is possible.

I stand by my original comment, and I’ll be a bit sad to learn if I’m the odd one out with that take, but I also think these are the kind of things philosophers ought to talk about and not me. What do I know? Maybe my view is distorted by idealism and good expectations, faith in people and the world, that may well be unsubstantiated and entirely delusional.

Sometimes we don’t value stable career or steady income as highly as other pursuits.

I wouldn’t say it’s not intelligent. Just different priorities.

I admire anyone brave and idealistic enough to commit to academia or culture or any similarly less lucrative and extremely uncertain path. Takes some resilience and big balls. You are almost guaranteed to lose a lot of the comforts available to others with that. And yet, they still do it. And we are all better for it. The world is better for it.

And here I am thinking everyone can do this, it’s so weird that a thing like this just never came up with anyone

This is so interesting, since I simply can not tell a difference between the aspartame/acesulfane and actual sugar in fizzy drinks. I guess I have it easy because of that, but I have a somewhat keen sense of taste otherwise, I cook a lot and can detect what the taste is missing or has too much of pretty consistently, and know the “opposite” tastes/ingredients to apply. And wines and such, it’s sort of a synesthesia thing too, since I kind of feel them as something close to colors. But sweet things I have trouble with. I thought, not sure why, this was a human thing, but it’s interesting to hear someone can detect the sweet things granularly! Cool!

To be fair, while I’ve never seen or know anyone circumcised, at least around here we shower after exercise and sports and stuff. We never had separated showers in schools or sports halls or gyms or similar, you’d obviously see everyone’s dick very often if you ever participated in any activity that’s sweaty. But then again we also have a very long and strong sauna tradition, which only increases the genital-seeing vectors in everyone’s life.

I think it only natural, why should anyone be ashamed or somehow hide their natural body is beyond me. I think it’s also healthy in terms of normalizing the fact that we all have a body, skin, genital, and we all come in differences shapes and sizes and all.

But I do find it similarly weird to ever bully anyone over a thing like that. Anybody too distracted by, or otherwise focused on, someone else’s body parts is probably having some issues themselves that ought to be resolved.

I have never met anyone circumcised before, nor even heard of one outside of celebrities and internet randoms like this.

So the thing about some being grossed out is purely cultural and not a universal thing. I find it odd that some would be grossed out about a thing like that, but if you choose to remain within that culture, it’s probably sensible to account for that. But I would bet it’s really not a big deal for anyone despite what they say. There are more important things going on whenever people end up in a situation where that comes up. I wouldn’t worry about that, but the again I don’t know your culture, maybe it is a big deal.

For me personally, I really like my “hood” so to say. Keeps the senses more heightened there when the delicate part does not chafe around and touch everything all the time. On top of that, I find much more hygienic to have a natural “shield” that is easy to clean and keep regulated in terms of pH and all. No doubt it would be more problematic in hot climates where there might be more sweating and stuff, that would require more intense and frequent upkeep, but here in the global North, I think it would be disadvantageous not to have the natural luxury.

Not only would I not want a circumsization, I find it actively harmful to myself and my personal health. I also find the practice extremely off-putting and horrifying, but then again all cultures come with their own “barbaric” traditions so to say, so I’m not about to yuck anyone’s yum. You do you, I say, live your best life.

It does come with some required upkeep and work, but so do our teeth. If you maintain them, they’re going to be healthy and beneficial overall. No need to cut them off in my opinion, just because it’s extra work. But that’s not the justification for the cut, so I also don’t mean to sound patronizing here. Just my view on it.

If I never understand how and why but I get to have that be the case then I am content.

This is a sane way to look at it, I think, so I commend you for staying so rational in face of something so unfortunate and life-changing.

I wish the best of luck to you, it seems you know what you are doing and my input was unwarranted. But I hope you see I was coming from a good place, even if the help was both unasked for and redundant. It’s not always the case, since ketogenic diet has found some popularity that has led it to trend a little bit among those not so inclined to actually read up on the topic or consider its consequences fully. Which is why I tend to offer my two cents when I happen upon the topic, even if I’m not an expert in the subject matter

Really appreciate the comment, thank you. Since I’ve had some education via my dietician and personal progress/experience, I’ve wanted to give my thoughts in case it helps. But here it seems you are much better up to date with these, and I’ve also got new perspective and reading from this. So thanks, again, especially for challenging my suggestions when it’s often risky here in internet as you’d often get negative pushback and most wouldn’t bother to subject themselves to that.

Monitoring personal health metrics is also helpful, especially lipids, ketones, glucose, fasting insulin, etc…

For whoever might be wondering about all this, I believe a lot of these can be tested from blood alone, which means it’s fairly fast and cheap. At least here, but here we have the benefit of a socialist democracy and its welfare system, I.e healthcare is essentially free. So especially if the latter applies to you too, you will not do any harm checking up on your levels from time to time!

For me, just a completely unrelated blood draw revealed problems with my blood glucose before it ever got to diabetes, and also revealed some (luckily minor) damage to my liver due to fatty liver. Which meant I was able, just by accidentally doing blood tests for something else, avoid these things getting worse and irreparable, and as it happens, ketogenic diet is very good for the latter (fatty liver, perhaps inner fat in general I think?), and fortunately in my case, it didn’t worsen the former either, so I managed to avoid the need for potentially expensive meds just by doing some diet education and changes, it was monitored full keto in the short term and later I was advised to return to more normal diet but with strictly reduced carbs so as to not let the problems resurface.

Just all to illustrate how just simple and quick tests like this can be accidentally good. I didn’t display any problems outwards, so I had no idea I was slowly sliding towards pre-diabetes and liver cirrchosis (really not sure how to spell that in English but I hope the word is similar and close enough).

And when doing any bigger diet changes, it’ll be good to have a baseline from before it, to compare against at different points of the diet.

Oh, this is new to me. If that is true, then that would still require balancing, since saturated fats come with other problems themselves. I suppose there’s no “clean” way to do anything at any rate, so it takes personal testing and monitoring. But I am fully willing to accept my recommendations might be outdated or misguided, and what you say is correct. It has been a while since I was on an overseen keto diet and things do change in time with new research and guidelines. To that end, I’d recommend checking out if that is indeed true, and if the new recommendations/consensus would make my point moot.

Either way, the fiber was a strong point when I was taught the diet by my doctor and a dietitian, and I can’t see that having changed. As far as I’m aware, fiber is a critical component of our gut health but also immune system robustness. And done right, it does nothing to affect the energy sourcing or glucose levels or whatever. I was given the rough guide of overall carbs - fibers = “final” carbs ingested. Not really sure how to translate that into English but I think it’s a common rule of thumb and you get the gist. Has that changed since?

But I’ll end on this note: Whatever I or someone say here on internet, best to double-check it all with your dietitian if doing an overseen diet, and yourself from internet if you’re doing it on your own.

Nutrition and health are no small things to play with. Our body is flexible and can survive a whole lot, in a lot of different situations, but there are prerequisites for it to thrive in a sustainable way. And there’s a fundamental distinction between just surviving/existing and thriving/being healthy.

On a keto based diet, you’ll need those fats. Perhaps consider something like sunflower oil instead though? Nuts also come with plenty of fats and have a lot of fiber too. Some have carbs more than others, so you’d have to check which ones fit your specific diet, but these are a great source of healthy fats and help keeping the gut biomes working well.

Edit: just to add, you could experiment with the fiber more. Long carbs have a very different effect on the body vs. short ones, so those, in moderation to keep the keto state up, could be okay for the partner too, and perhaps give more robustness/variety to the diet?

That’s equally valid of course, but unless you mean your birth family and not your own, the more appropriate and commendable route would be to remove yourself from the wrong family situation and figure out a new, working, one. It’s no benefit to anyone, least to yourself, if it’s not working out. Everyone will be happier for it ultimately, even if it requires some tough choices and a whole bunch of compromises, adaptation and potential heartbreak in the short term.

I mean the same is true for birth family too, but at least there it doesn’t matter as much, since often the first priority and the more day-to-day impactful one will be your own immediate family, so you can simply minimize the need to ever interact with them.

And there’s the moral implication, that you didn’t choose your birth family. But you did choose your own immediate family. So there’s a responsibility there in the latter that isn’t present in the former.

Unless the situation is that you didn’t choose your immediate family either. If it’s not working out, it’s even more of a reason to figure out a way out.

Unless there’s no way out. In which case, and only in this case, your sentiment seems agreeable and hopefully the situation doesn’t last. And if it does, hopefully you get as much time off as possible.

Yeah well, this is of course just a singular anecdote, but my experience with any touch-based de on Linux hasn’t been great.

No Linux phone I have ever seen has had a particularly competitive pricing. Or specs.

But perhaps there has been some major advancements I’m not aware of in the past week.

In any case, your latter point is true.

At this point I would not be surprised if steam built on top of the deck idea and the support it already provides for fairly responsive and configurable inputs, touch screen included, to launch a steam phone or something.

I mean deck isn’t all that far from having such a device. For the actual phone network stack they would likely just partner up with someone already in the space.

They’ve already had to tackle powering a lightweight portable device with a touch screen and adapting the UX for a small screen and non-kbd input. They’ve already established they can source parts and mass produce a competively priced device.

But realistically I can’t see it being that much better than the recent Linux phone offerings.

Yeah, the fundamental issue here too, ultimately, condenses down to tolerance and acceptance. Of other faiths, of other customs, of foreign ways to present or identify, of anything your faith or culture might not allow or actively do.

Just being able to accept or at the very least tolerate others, as they are, without trying to turn them, or, kill them if they won’t turn…

I can’t figure out why this is so hard for us humans, the majority of us at least, when it seems so… easy? Unless the difference is offensive to you, which, again, is just intolerance of difference. Just let them be and be your best self yourself. I can understand having a few words to try and sway them to be saved according to your faith or whatever, but failing that, just live your best life and I don’t know… maybe pray for them on your own or something if you’re truly worried about their soul or something. But dont go bothering them with that shit if they aren’t receptive. It seems so simple?

I have a pet theory that Putin is attempting to get a big reaction from NATO, so that he can then internally use that as an excuse why the war in Ukraine did not end well, and why they had to ultimately concede points they earlier held they wouldn’t in the eventual peace negotiations.

Not winning against Ukraine would be shameful for him, especially after all the messaging done about Ukraine not even being a real country.

Not winning against the entirety of NATO, on the other hand, sounds reasonable and understandable. But just saying that isn’t very persuasive. He needs imagery of destroyed Russian equipment in another NATO country or something concrete like that, to show that NATO truly is involved and waging war against Russia. That’s would also justify the initial reasoning for this misguided excursion — NATO is indeed warring against us, it was all justified! See these images of dead Russians in the Baltic Sea! The flaming Russian jets! See the havoc the big bad NATO wreaks on us poor Russians! We stand no chance, we have to settle for peace, those bullies are too strong now, and they are evil in their ways! In order to survive, we must concede a bit, lest NATO comes and bombs you and your family in the night like the thugs they are! gesturing at the constant dramatized imagery of destroyed Russian equipment in some NATO region

I’m convinced the economy, despite currently running on the war, is finally slowly collapsing to the point of it being visible to the peasants, perhaps showing inconvenient signs of that with the gas shortages across Russia, whatever else they are trying to keep under wraps. I think it’s starting to get embarrassing unless something changes and they can play victim to some bigger baddie yet again terrorizing good pious Russians. Maybe they have determined they can’t keep the effects contained no longer, and the seams will start to burst soon, so they need something that justifies the peace negotiations and conceding some of their strict conditions for the peace. Otherwise the people might just start seeing how fucked they are and rise up.

Yeah, it’s hard if the budget is literally zero, but if not, students get affordable monthly tickets to public transports at least around here, so that already makes it very possible to get around on the cheap. It’s not expensive to start with, at least anywhere where I’ve ever been to, as a local or as a tourist, so only in very extreme cases would that be a problem. Even then, asking around one can get lucky and get a used bike on the cheap, or for free from a relative or a friend. Depending on the city, the bike can be faster and more convenient, even, than public transport.

Once you can get around, a city turns into a treasure trove of possibilities and activities. Sure, there are expensive options, but also a huge variety of free or cheap options too! The toughest part is daring to go. It takes some bravery, especially if doing something or going somewhere for the first time, but it always gets easier and easier once you get through those first hurdles.

Edit: To add, there are almost always interesting places to spend a day in just outside the city proper. Or even a bit farther away, but still along the public transport routes or bike’s reach. Where I live, we have some public apple orchards for example, one can make a day out of going to pick a basketful of apples and having a picnic. In the winter there are fun slopes on some smaller hills that have publicly maintained slopes to go sledging in, make it a day with some hot chocolate and friends! Some smaller museums outside the city center are very affordable and can have quirky subjects and presentations. Even just biking or walking to some lake or park can be great, take some acoustic instruments or a boombox or something, sit around and chill, alone or with friends!

For things to do alone, at least in my city, we have public outdoor gyms spread around. Some of the farther ones don’t get much use, so I can usually be alone there when I go, it’s very zen especially in autumn when it’s a bit chilly. Local coffee shops and some bars have free exhibitions of local artists usually, same for libraries. Sometimes you can get lucky and have impromptu live music too, with no additional costs! Smaller local bands have very affordable tickets too, usually less than a pint. And if you’re a student, at least most places I’ve ever been to, you can get drinks on the cheap, if you’re not too picky about your vices.

This is all not even mentioning things like tabletop game groups that gather just for the fun of it, no cost. People bring games and you play, no need to own any yourself. Usually it’s coffee shops or bars, so there might be costs from the aux things like drinks, but you can participate with just water, who cares? Often these are advertised in said coffee shops with some printed paper on a wall, or maybe the various boards across the city and markets and whatnot that have adverts/notices etc.

The toughest thing, all in all, is daring to go. It really is the hardest part to be brave enough to go and do stuff. It’s not easy for anyone, but once you dare the one time, it gets easier from there, and gets fun very fast!

And in some part, the bravery it takes to go somewhere for the first time. It’s always going to be easier the second time, but the first time is always the hardest and easiest to skip/avoid/excuse by staying in one’s comfort zone.